A couple weeks ago I met and started dating a nice, successful, and very good looking guy in my city. He doesn’t make more TC than I do but hey, such is the tech life, plus his job is actually making the world a better place. He’s got that crunchy dogooder thing going on. The thing is he doesn’t wear deodorant and smells like BO at the end of the day. His breath is also not great. How do I gently bring all of this up? It’s so easily fixed. I’m attracted to him but then get turned off by this sometimes. I could see things going somewhere with us if this is addressed.
Ignore the advice above 🖕about dumping him. Get him a present consisting of deodorant and breath mints. He’ll get the message
1 year after you get married, he will stop wearing deodorant and using breath mints. People don’t change. They might go on short-term best behavior because they’ve got eyes on the prize.
That’s projection. Lots of people make adjustments to fit in. This is one of them.
I think the first post is right(though bad choice of words)... Do you expect him to wear deodorant to bed? What I mean is giving him a deo is not going to fix this, he is not self conscious enough to stay clean and this will stay an ongoing problem...
No. Just put it on in the morning. Or shower TWICE a day? Though that seems like a waste of water.
Randomly start dropping ‘ew what is that smell’ around him. Eventually he’ll realize it is himself and fix it
Don’t dump him. Get him a gift. Leave subtle hints. This is a fixable problem.
May be go to a date inside a mall and then walk up to the perfume section. Then subtly suggest him that he should use it. Say girls, especially you, are attracted to guys who smell good. Add that when a guy wearing deo or perfume passes by you, you immediately lose your train of thought and notice him. Then in a cheeky way, say, you should totally do it, it would be wonderful. If he asks do I smell bad, in this context you have created here, it's okay to say I'm sorry but the answer is a definite yes.
Communication is key! Be mature about it, it's reasonable for people to make a bit of an effort to be more pleasing to their partners Think about it in reverse, if he told you that there's something that you can easily change to make things better would you do it? Like say, shave your legs more often or whatever, would you do it or be offended? It's true that you cannot fundamentally change people, but habits can be changed for sure.
In other words, dont follow all of this advice about dropping hints, just be open and say "hey, I really like you but not your smell, would you please wear deodorant ?" If he's offended by it or doesn't do it that's telling of the type of person he is and how much he likes you Also smelling is not part of who you are. Its part of your habits and personally hygiene. If I don't wear deodarant i smell bad.
No need to be rude to a person. This advice is be direct (which is rude), and if he gets offended it's his problem? We are adults, learn diplomacy, it will improve your soft skills.
Direct and rude are not the same, you can absolutely be one without the other.
Maybe you should introduce speedstick to him. Buy a pair both for you and him and say you would like to try it together. Once he does use it, shower him with compliments (pun intended), hug him and kiss him -there's no way he will stop using it.
Just be honest with him. A lot of people don’t realize they smell. A little bit of pain now will make for smooth sailing into the future.
Find another dude. If you are trying to fix things about someone this early, it’s not going to work out. Imagine how his place smells/looks if you don’t like his crunchy BO.