What happens when you go on a first date with someone but don’t feel sparks/chemistry right away. Do you give it another shot or just inform the other person nicely that you are not interested ? I have been out with a guy few times and he is really nice and a great guy but I don’t feel any chemistry. Wondering how long should I wait before making a final decision ?
Put the poor guy in the friend zone
Give it 2-3 tries.
Is the lack of chemistry something that could be attributed to shyness?
Shyness on my end or his end?
Yeah, I’m asking because my partner was very shy when we first started going out. I wasn’t able to see the real her as a result. We’re two software engineers (my TC 150, hers 300 haha). I should say we did always have good physical chemistry so maybe this isn’t quite your situation. Honestly it took us six months to really get to know one another. I had the same nervous questions you’re having but gave her the benefit of the doubt because she and I had mutual friends and went to the same school. It just wasn’t my normal pattern of crazy passion then bust. It was mellow and comfortable and that scared me but it somehow felt right on a deeper level so I kept trying and working at it. Last night she asked me if we would have lasted past our first couple dates if we didn’t share friends and I got pretty sad when I thought about it- I told her that we probably wouldn’t have. Anyway this is getting long. Go with your gut, even if it seems a little plain at first
How old are you? In 30s I guess. Perhaps you will make good choices
I am in my twenties and I do want to make good choices
All my best wishes with you. May you get all you wish for. But make good choices. You have your entire life in front of you!
well, what kind of dates did you go on?
Coffee, movie, dinner etc the usual stuff nothing different
Sounds like it's not meant to be then, if you're not feeling attracted.
Just follow your instincts
If you’re not feeling any chemistry after a couple dates, that’s a pretty good sign it’s not meant to be in my experience.
Can you identify the mismatch between expectation and reality? Surely you were attracted to him in his photos. Does he look worse in real life? I often feel like that's the real reason but so often it's simply attributed to "no chemistry". It would be much more constructive to simply tell the guy they gained too much weight or look less attractive than their photos. Otherwise this cycle will keep repeating.
He looks better in person than his photos so there isn’t any mismatch in that regard. I just don’t want to feel that I am making a safe decision. I am aware safe isn’t always bad. Sometimes safe works out great for some people but then sometimes it might end really bad in long term and I don’t want to be in the later category
Depends. What’s his TC?
Don’t know but probably same as mine