Ok been married for long time. Wife challenged me saying I don’t say positive things and appreciate her! The way things are, I couldn’t come up with a list of appreciations.
Not asking how you show appreciation! What are the things you appreciate your wife for?
*Please give your examples of what you appreciate! *
Btw, I do say thanks for the food and the occasional/rare attempts to do some nice things. Not a total asshole.
Btw, she is stay st home with full burden and stress on me. Has a nice social life. Cooking and giving healthy food to kids is huge stress and challenge. I do push myself to cook as much as possible on the weekends to ensure kids have something decent.
- Oath / MgmtAtinlayAsking about it with strangers on Blind always helps. Go spend time talking to your wife instead. 🙄
- I'd try to find a reason she told you that. Talk to her and find out what was the recent thing you've done that got her upset. Otherwise you'll be brute-forcing and may still end up being guilty with a lack of appreciation.
- Eggs she'll for sure. When she triggers, she signs off for days and ignores the kida too. From the day they were toddlers and up.until middle . school. Now she threatens with canceling social events, trips etc.
She doesn't care to talk as it always ends up I triggered, my fault, go,fix it!!
- Intel / EngxdCS17Look up the concept of Love Languages and figure out what yours and your wife’s are. Maybe you aren’t giving her the right type of messages.
- I greatly appreciate everything my wife does for me and our kids. I work insane hours often and she does everything around the house. She always finds time for us to talk and connect. Sex and massage at least once a week. She is not a spendthrift and spends under our agreed upon budgets for the year. I know I’ve got it good, and make sure she knows I appreciate every bit of it
- Don't turn blind into a Facebook, every relationship has its ups n downs and I am a seasoned person in relationships. I can tell you what u listed any uneducated economically dependent HomeMaker will not do all 365 days in a year. Don't lie to yourself it feels like u r in the same boat as OPJan 51
- Facebook e11- household tasks
- listening/caring about me taking about shit
- planning activities that we do together
- taking care of kids
- buying things we need
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- How so? Where do you see lack of emotion? I’m actually emotional and emphatatic too much - that itself she complains as she is too cold, not cuddly, don’t think about others..
Seriously, you come to conclusion so fast with little information. So please tell em how you come to such fast conclusion? I'm willing to make corrections.
- Amazon deafearsGet a babysitter, go away for a weekend and ask a lot of questions about her experiences and opinions. Then you'll have a deeper understanding of her desires and motivations. You'll know if she gave any of them up in order to make a life with you, which you'll appreciate.
- I know I didn’t take away anything from her. No ambitions, no learning desires, just wants the easy life. No concept of feedback or retrospectives. As I said if I open my mouth about a negative thing it will be hell brakes loose or childish reactions.
We have done the weekends. But not serious talks comes up. I feel like it’s all fake or just sex (when she wants it).
I think i see (mostly) narcissist hypocrite.
Yes, got kids and been a believer of “until death do us apart”. So I tell, I married someone who is bit sick and deal with it myself.
Back to my question: examples of appreciations?
- I was a stay home partner before I started working. I felt so less motivated to do household work when I was simply sitting at home all day. But after I started working, it has increased my motivation a lot and now I enjoy cooking all my family’s meals everyday. So maybe encouraging her to join some class maybe like yoga can boost her motivation levels.
- Microsoft cout<<The way you talk about her in your post/comments sounds like you don’t appreciate her.
She’s takes care of the kids yet you claim the burden and stress is on you? Really?
She had no ambitions. Are you sure? Not even ambitions for a better guy?
- Not asking how you show appreciation! What are the things you appreciate your wife for?
- New MsWorldAs a woman, I would love if my partner appreciates me for the little things I do for him - like if she reminded you of an important work document you may have otherwise missed at home, or the time she motivated you to go to the gym, or when she took care of your parents, or when she woke you up so you don't miss that work call, or the time she bought you a new shirt, or when she kept your fav food ready before you returned from work.
- Cadence Why’sAppreciate that you come home to home cooked meals, Clean house, and laundry done. And household necessities are always replenished so it never occurs to you that toilet paper could ever run out. She manages the household schedules so you never need to worry about kids doctors appts, bday parties, and having to take the kids to their extracurricular activities.
- I do my own laundry. Food cooked may 2 or 3 times,a week. I make sure all bathrooms have toilet paper. I supply.water bottles to her bed side. I mKe the bed.
One kid in college and other in Highschool. So not much activities or has stopped after the first kid.
I check sons school work and tutor. She yells at him when his scores are.down..
- Amazon BaanoIt is mostly mid life crisis. It happens. Donot think divorce or anything; bad for family ultimately and u 2.
Yes, talking does not help here. Spending time with family does. There is always a sense of insecurity and Facebook usually aggravates thus feeling.
Obviously, spending money is not a solution but small gifts do help. I let me wife have 300-400 dollars all to herself when she was not working. Though small amount but it made her feel valued.
Sometimes, having a lunch during office hours and asking her to meet team also helps. It makes her feel that you consider her not something that u just need at home.
- It sounds like you are very frustrated and not able to think clearly. Could you maybe take a break and spend some time alone or with your friends? Do you have a trusted friend/ sibling who knows both of you well and can look at the situation objectively? You need some one real to talk to.