Ok been married for long time. Wife challenged me saying I don’t say positive things and appreciate her! The way things are, I couldn’t come up with a list of appreciations. Not asking how you show appreciation! What are the things you appreciate your wife for? *Please give your examples of what you appreciate! * Btw, I do say thanks for the food and the occasional/rare attempts to do some nice things. Not a total asshole. Btw, she is stay st home with full burden and stress on me. Has a nice social life. Cooking and giving healthy food to kids is huge stress and challenge. I do push myself to cook as much as possible on the weekends to ensure kids have something decent.
A good way would be to offer her massage.
Take her out on a no-phones date. Make opportunities to get to know her better.
21 years of marriage!
Then you really ought to know some things you appreciate. Maybe make a list of the reasons you'd be sad if the two of you split up? Then reword it to be about her and more positive.
Not asking how you show appreciation! What are the things you appreciate your wife for?
As a woman, I would love if my partner appreciates me for the little things I do for him - like if she reminded you of an important work document you may have otherwise missed at home, or the time she motivated you to go to the gym, or when she took care of your parents, or when she woke you up so you don't miss that work call, or the time she bought you a new shirt, or when she kept your fav food ready before you returned from work.
Thank you!
I'd try to find a reason she told you that. Talk to her and find out what was the recent thing you've done that got her upset. Otherwise you'll be brute-forcing and may still end up being guilty with a lack of appreciation.
A slight negative comment will trigger her. She interprets everything as her blaming her.
Sack up
Get a babysitter, go away for a weekend and ask a lot of questions about her experiences and opinions. Then you'll have a deeper understanding of her desires and motivations. You'll know if she gave any of them up in order to make a life with you, which you'll appreciate.
I know I didn’t take away anything from her. No ambitions, no learning desires, just wants the easy life. No concept of feedback or retrospectives. As I said if I open my mouth about a negative thing it will be hell brakes loose or childish reactions. We have done the weekends. But not serious talks comes up. I feel like it’s all fake or just sex (when she wants it). I think i see (mostly) narcissist hypocrite. Yes, got kids and been a believer of “until death do us apart”. So I tell, I married someone who is bit sick and deal with it myself. Back to my question: examples of appreciations?
Divorce
Afer 2x years, thought has seriously come up in my head. Going to start counseling by myself as she wont come ( too perfect, no faults in her, nerver says sorry). I will have to tell work related stress and need help
Divorce dude. Life is too short for dealing with these stupid things.
How so? Where do you see lack of emotion? I’m actually emotional and emphatatic too much - that itself she complains as she is too cold, not cuddly, don’t think about others.. Seriously, you come to conclusion so fast with little information. So please tell em how you come to such fast conclusion? I'm willing to make corrections.
Asking about it with strangers on Blind always helps. Go spend time talking to your wife instead. 🙄
She has hard time listening with phone and tv!
Turn all that shit off and spend time together doing something.