I am the frog in the boiling pot
I am realizing life is the boiling pot and I am the frog. Something is wrong in my life that's easting me up inside out and I don't know what it is. All aspects in my life seem fine - I work 7 hours, team members are helping, I eat healthy food, I work out few days a week, I have friends I visit over the weekend. But I still feel a lack of purpose, there's a void. I am unable to concentrate on anything, I am restless all day at work, I don't want to do anything after I come home. I push myself to go to the gym alternate days. I want this life to end (not suicidal but it feels too hard and the thought of having to spend another 40 years when it's only going to be down hill is just sad). There's nothing I look forward to. Is it being away from family or is it something else? Anyone in similar situation?
Damn that sucks. What do you think about all day? What causes the pain?
When I am at work, I think about just heading home because I am restless. When I am home, I feel lonely. My brain finds excuses to not to go the gym. I don't talk to many people at work because I feel they are very shallow connections (although they are helping as teammates). It feels like I am a robot who is doing all the things I am expected to do in life (eat, sleep, work) but there's no real purpose. If things go down (like a bad day at work or a health problem) it just kills me inside. And the thought of spending the next 40 years this way when it's only going to get worse is sad.
It really sounds like your depressed. It also sounds like your lonely. Have you seen a therapist? While that wonβt fix everything immediately, it might be a good first step to address a problem that will likely require structural changes to your life.
Do you have family that you can talk to?
Yes, but I don't stay very close to them
The πΈ is unaware the water is boiling so it doesn't jump out.
I am glad you know the story
This is very relatable
What do you do in that case?
I have tried taking up βthings I would like to do some dayβ as the thing I will do today/this week/this month/this year. It has helped me keep myself busy. The thoughts do return and the cycle continues. At this point I am thinking perhaps this is what really life is. It doesnβt have to be the same way for you. I believe I am happy with it some days and not the others. For me, it is completely fine to not have βmy thingβ pinned to one thing. I have also started caring less about what others think of me. This is not very easy. I am working on it every single moment but what keeps me going is the freedom from this burden of othersβ opinions. Day by day it matters less. I respect and love people nonetheless. But I wonβt take any crap or negativity from anyone not important enough. This is just me: I like to read/watch stuff that I think will add value to my life. So far I have found: animals (adopted one :)) and minimalism (keeps my place and mind clear)
Find the rc of what evr is causing stress
Wish I knew
Dude, itβs just regular life. Highly intelligent people will get that if they do routine things day after day. Develop a hobby and make friends. I loved to study - did two degrees to keep myself alive.
Impressive! Can you share details regarding what degrees? I have friends I meet over the weekend. Do you meet your friends everyday?
I am married and have two kids. So am not lonely anymore. Perhaps, you need some love in your life.
U need some girl action
I am not looking for quick escapades. It doesn't unwrap the real issue and solve the problem.
Well, I would say try to find a purpose. When we are younger our purpose is well defined. Go to school. Attain certain % grades. Get jobs so we feel we are driving towards something but when we reach adult, all controls are in your own hands and donβt have anyone pushing you. You can start with learn something new every month. For example, learn how to play certain games, learn new technology, and find something you like to do more and then get deeper in it. Meet new people. Learn their stories. Every person is like a book with interesting perspective and stories. Find just one thing that gets your attention and double down on it.
30+. I work on advanced cancer treatments (after chemotherapy fails). There is no one moment when I feel like this, it's a continuous feeling and hence the frog in the pot analogy. The only time I don't feel that way is when I am around my fav people
But faangers look down on me. Who in the world has ever heard of a pharma company but everyone has heard of Facebook haha. People around me celebrate when they reach a 100k salary, faangers start at 150k. Anyway that doesn't bother me, just stating because you mentioned it. Sure I'll get myself checked.