Looking for Help of being the Office Pariah

New XY2000
Sep 27 9 Comments

Nine years ago I was doing really well at my company, promoting well, and doing great. Then an emotioanlly destructive Divorce hit my world and I got drunk just after ink was drying on my decree and made a fool out of myself at a company party. I learned my lesson... I now avoid company parties because I get the long stares just being in the room.

My team members really like working with me, I bring a lot of value, do a great job, but if I see my team outside my group’s area they treat me like they dont know me. In fact they will avoid me at all costs. I figured over the years it would be forgotten.

I had a new employee come onboard recently, and introduced. As they walked away, their co-worker warned them I had a bad reputation and it would be career-limiting to be friends with me. What really got my attention is that after that time I made a fool out of myself, I suspended my FB account. I recently opened it back up, and most of my company FB friends unfriended me within days. I even have it to where co-workers will say hi to the co-workers I am talking to professionally and avoid saying hi to me at the same time. I find that generally rude.

Oddly my managers and VP really like me. I get great reviews. I am one of those people that knows how to fix any problem and can turn bad situations around. I have been with the company for nearly 20 years so I have a lot of invested and vacation time I would hate to give up, plus I like my job.

I am surprised no one in higher places has put an end to all of this. I am looking for ideas and solutions. I know easier to find a new company and start anew, but I am just not there yet.

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TOP 9 Comments
  • Facebook / Data gfg101
    Dude it’s insane that you are still there. Your coworkers sound like assholes (depending on what you did of course) and there is no way to fix this. The worlds a big place, go somewhere else.
    Sep 27 6
    • Salesforce OpPN30
      Is that it? That made you a social pariah?
      Sep 27
    • New XY2000
      OP
      I didn’t make a pass at any of them. I was just goofy drunk and dancing. Not very good. I got to see the video the next day.
      Sep 27
    • Salesforce OpPN30
      People didn’t just laugh it off? Are you sure that nothing else is going on? Have you solicited feedback from peers?
      Sep 27
    • New XY2000
      OP
      The only oddity to the sales guys is that I am not dating. But I have two kids full-time in activities, and I don’t have time. I often go from work to school and nightly activities. They live with me all seven days. I turned down some girls in other departments just after my divorce as I don’t date in the office. Some of my sales guys said I shouldn’t waste opportunities. I drive crappy commuter cars with a six figure income. But I have my nice classic muscle car in the garage at home that is cherry. That’s all I have heard.
      Sep 27
    • BlackRock LTB
      All the guys are just mad that you styled on them and got to dance with their work crushes.
      Sep 30
  • Deloitte / Other Gfes23
    Yea this sucks. Same boat as you not the drunk part. Great reputation then make some mistakes and everyone are like vultures feasting on your good name. Unfortunately the only way Is to leave.
    Sep 27 0
  • Salesforce OpPN30
    There is no way around it. You are going to have to find another company. There is no magic bullet to repairing your reputation if it is as described.
    Sep 27 0

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