Is it just me or anyone else has felt this way?
- Every time the meeting runs in a similar way. - It’s just the manager talking for most part and justifying you’re not up to the mark. (Not being objective what that mark really is. V2MOM never discussed)
- Any point you throw to your defense is brushed aside as a small stuff (tells you nothing to brag)
- Almost shut you off and you only nod.
When you feel threatened to speak and intimidated with this kind of toxic situation for a long time, what’s the best way forward?
1- Do nothing different and continue to suffer; reserve your venting for Blind app users only Not ideal)
2- Go to ES with your notes from several 1-1’s and ask for someone to meet with you and your Manager at the same time to help open up a more productive dialogue together.
3- Review your notes from the last few 1-1’s with your Manager. Is there a recurring theme to the feedback that you can tie back to your V2MOM? If your Manager’s feedback is not objective then try to ask clarifying questions that tie the feedback back to your V2MOM. Try adding additional metrics that, if completed, will address your Manager’s feedback. This can also become your ‘documentation’ of prior 1-1’s in case you need it later.
4- Are you friends with any other Managers you could meet with to get their objective point of view? Your Manager might have valid feedback about a performance issue but your personalities could clash which would make it difficult to be objective.
5- You could OOM
Bottom line is this.... If you’re not getting the feedback you need to improve your performance then it’s up to you to be proactive and ask for it. That feedback can come from your Manager, other Managers, or your Mentors. If your Manager is just a “jerk” then find another team. If your Manager is a jerk to everyone then pretty soon your Manager will not have a team left to manage!
I hope this helps!