Nicest way to turn a second date down?

New / Design Corgi🍑
Jul 2 73 Comments

I felt no chemistry but he was really kind and super eager to see me again. How do you usually turn your dates down without ..ghosting or sounding like an asshole?

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TOP 73 Comments
  • Apple RXtA67
    Hey MrNice,

    It was great to knowing you!! You’re a wonderful person and very kind — a quality that is hard to find in this day and age. However, I don’t think I will be able to bring my best to this relationship. Hence, it’s best if we don’t move ahead.

    I wish you well for your future endeavors.

    Hugs,
    MsNice
    Jul 2 6
    • Amazon prestige🧐
      Yeah you need to be really clear. You dont wanna end up in this situation
      Jul 2
    • New / Design jxifml
      LOL exactly.
      Jul 2
    • Microsoft / Eng Rydia
      No, don't use this paragraph. How can you say you're wonderful and kind and rare but I can't bring my best?? Makes no fucking sense. Also, I wish you well for your future endeavors?? LOL?? Hi HR.

      Just say:

      "Hey dude,

      Just wanted to let you know that I thought about the date we had and I don't think there is any chemistry. Sorry if I wasted your time."
      Jul 2
    • NetBrain Technologies ..x_x..
      This sounds like a job rejection email😅
      Jul 3
    • Amazon / Eng
      lifeisbear

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Cisco
      lifeisbearmore
      This is so funny, reminds me of the interview rejection emails.
      Jul 26
  • Amazon macrew
    Imho ghosting is the best way. After only 1 date it’s socially acceptable.

    I personally would rather not receive a reply than an awkward “hi. I don’t like you.” message.
    Jul 2 14
    • Indeed normaI
      and tbf, its somewhat of a new social movement. older people will not like it but thats just how the physics of dating has evolved/simplified.
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      (the dawg part is in reference to a meme, wasnt calling u that)

      anyway you may consider it classier but it does pose a lot of surface area for vulnerabilities for both parties, particularly the party thats traditionally physically weaker and sought after.

      its safer for a girl to just cut off all interaction with a guy she just met (a stranger) rather than to engage in what could be an unpredictable back and forth heated debate about why she doesn’t wanna see him again. there are additional safety concerns and wasted energy expenditures for the female but I’ll spare you the enumeration.
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      but I agree, a detailed json response with proper authentication headers (so you know its her) from the female as to why she doesn’t wanna see you again would be pretty nice.
      Jul 2
    • Airbnb kYFK02
      Ghosting is for children. “I don’t think we’re romantically compatible”
      Jul 3
    • Indeed normaI
      thats a fair point actually. if your like 30+ ghosting is probably rude af
      Jul 3
  • Google / Eng 🍑☁️
    "I had a good time but I didn't feel the sort of spark that I'm looking for. I hope you meet the right person soon!". A reasonable and empathetic person will understand and accept this statement. An unreasonable person will argue with you about how they're actually a match for you, in which case you can stop caring about them anyway because they're an asshole
    Jul 2 3
    • New / Design jxifml
      Oh I like this. I'll send something along these lines when he gets out of work so he doesn't get distracted at work
      Jul 2
    • Microsoft / Eng Rydia
      This works. Simple, straight to the point, no lying
      Jul 2
    • Microsoft Sexybeast
      Reminds me of Michael Hall getting rejected after a date with a dude in the first season of Six Feet Under.
      Jul 3
  • New / Design jxifml
    Btw. I'm OP - just changed my username.
    Jul 2 10
    • Tableau krxi15
      No I am OP, I just accepted a new offer and changed my company.
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      we are all OP on this blessed day
      Jul 2
    • Amazon •OP
      Clearly, I am OP
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      no you’re dot op will the real op please standup
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      oh wait corgi butt is actually op s/he msged me so I remember checking
      Jul 2
  • Microsoft sillyboi
    Hey sorry, your TC isn't up to my standards. So please GTFO.
    Jul 2 2
    • Bloomberg / IT MagikMike
      I wish you pleasant leetcoding.
      Jul 2
    • Microsoft sillyboi
      ^ yeah.. How could I miss this ☺️
      Jul 2
  • Microsoft idknbd
    Chemistry sometimes doesn't show up for quite a while. If things were otherwise good I'd be inclined to stick it out another date or two.
    Jul 2 6
    • Google / Eng 🍑☁️
      It probably depends on the sort of person you are, but this has never worked out for me, and it's a decent sample size
      Jul 2
    • Microsoft idknbd
      95% of all relationships never work out regardless of whether or not there is chemistry. If your had-chemistry dates had worked out you wouldn't still be single.
      Jul 2
    • New / Design jxifml
      Oof the singleness is hurting
      Jul 2
    • Bloomberg / Eng iVX372
      This is complete BS. In my experience, my initial impression of my attraction and interest after the first date has been correct 100% of the time, even after continuing to see the person. Perhaps it's partly a question of self awareness and knowing what you're looking for.
      Jul 2
    • Microsoft idknbd
      your experience is wrong
      Jul 2
  • New / Eng LosYork
    Don’t ghost plz, that’s the worst feeling.
    Reject firmly, and let him know he has no chance.
    Jul 2 0
  • Microsoft sillyboi
    Hey, I was impressed by your background but at this time I have decided not go forward with your application. I highly encourage you to reapply after 12 months. Thanks
    Jul 2 0
  • ViaSat / Eng slote
    You have to be cruel to be kind.
    Jul 2 0
  • Microsoft / Eng T Kilvish
    It was great interacting with you and thank you for taking the time. I would like to inform you that post our date and careful consideration, I believe there is a mismatch between what I understood as your competencies and what I’m seeking. Any further communication would be done under the assumption on my part that you are fine being friendzoned.
    Jul 2 0
  • Microsoft / Acctg K1256
    Hey! I had a great time and really enjoyed _______ (fill in the blank)_____, I just don’t see a future.
    Jul 2 0
  • Bloomberg / IT MagikMike
    Whatever you say just be honest. Don’t overthink it.
    Jul 2 0
  • Cisco holaboys
    Keep it simple and straight. A "man" won't be broken after being turned down for a "second" date.
    Jul 2 4
    • Indeed normaI
      lot of these guys are fragile af specially when they don’t have any options other than that one girl
      Jul 2
    • Cisco holaboys
      On one date? They got to grow up. But, it's not cruel to be straight-forward
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      its not cruel to ghost
      Jul 2
    • Cisco holaboys
      True if people can't take it and want to keep waiting instead of shutting the door
      Jul 2
  • Tata Consultancy Services शक्तिमान
    I had the same experience with Geeta Vishwas. She rejected me cause I was not a good looking person i.e. Gangadhar. She came running back to me once she knew I'm the Shaktimaan.
    Rest is history.
    Jul 3 2
    • Microsoft sillyboi
      But it was too late and she had flew away to US and settled there. Never came to live with Mayadhar Vidyadhar Gangadhar.
      Jul 3
    • Tata Consultancy Services शक्तिमान
      ☹️
      Jul 3
  • Seagate toti420
    Hi, it was really fun hanging out with you. What was your TC again?
    Jul 2 0
  • Indeed normaI
    just ghost. no outbound texts.
    Jul 2 2
    • Amazon macrew
      +1. Ghosting ftw.
      Jul 2
    • Indeed normaI
      its 2019 idk how its so difficult. the expectation is you fuck on the first date and then never see each other again.
      Jul 2
  • Symantec
    donob

    Symantec

    BIO
    !
    donobmore
    ghosting is same as being an asshole. If he messages you then be respectful and turn down.

    Men as despo's but when you clearly message that there was no chemistry and you do not feel like going on any more dates, they understand.
    Jul 3 1
  • T-Mobile nth
    It’s not you, it’s me. 🥰
    Jul 2 0
  • New Fungi
    Text him requesting nudes. If he sends, plaster them across the internet. Then ghost.

    Works every time.
    Jul 2 1
    • Microsoft sillyboi
      Worked for Bezos 😂
      Jul 2
  • Amazon NCDb84
    So what did you do?
    Jul 29 0

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