Not a single girl has a crush on me.

Amazon vkvtn3
Jun 3 104 Comments

Been in the USA for about 3 years now. Got masters. Got a 6 figure job. Switched jobs. Still not a single girl likes me.
I know only 2 females in Bay area. I'm outgoing and can keep conversations. I try to go to random events just to see what's happening. Still I don't have any female friends to talk to. Is this normal?

I'm 24 M.

TC: 200k

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TOP 104 Comments
  • Flagged by the community.

    • F5 Networks bhai-log
      Yup - such racists need a solid timeout. What sort of racist posts blind is tolerating? If this person doesn’t get blocked, I am taking blind retirement.
      Jun 4
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Google / Eng xbebj
      The world is racist. We're just commenting on what happens. See OkCupid studies on race.
      Jun 4
    • F5 Networks bhai-log
      Indians come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Stop your racists tirade. ENOUGH!
      Jun 4
    • Google / Eng relprime
      Yes, the world is racist. But, there is a big difference between calling out racism and suggesting that the biases that underlie racism are actually true. (Unless you were being sarcastic which isn't conveyed in text).
      Jun 4
    • Google / Eng hooli.xyz
      Forget about looks. Cultural differences alone will scare off American women from Indian men.
      Jun 4
    • Google Gentrified
      Indians and Chinese don’t have much game in the Bay Area. Most men want hot white women and think high TC can make up for cultural, genetic, accent, food, pheromones and other differences. A 5 cannot go after a 9, not unless you have done some serious transformational work. Don’t reject someone just because you don’t think they are hot. Also speaking of racist. How many Indian men would consider dating a black woman, who Okcupid research suggests have the highest rejection rates on dating sites?
      Jun 4
    • New / R&D
      🦇 vs.🦸

      New R&D

      PRE
      NVIDIA, Adobe
      BIO
      Seeking Fall 2019 internship referrals.
      🦇 vs.🦸more
      💯% agree with @Gentrified
      Jun 4
    • Nvidia monolith_
      Totally agreed! This is not racism. These are very bare facts which are well available online. Just because you don’t like something it doesn’t make it wrong.
      Jun 4
    • Oracle techlord12
      Totally agreed! There’s unspoken racism among few people in India. When I say unspoken racism, what I mean is that think about a situation where one’s parents say, you could only marry an Indian, someone from same religion, someone from same nation. Now people enjoy watching movies or shows about two people from different nations or religions getting married but they don’t want to do the same in their household if you they really like someone. Would good number of Indians be willing to date Americans and go back to their parents and get them to agree with it?

      I know some Indians do marry Americans, Asians and people from other countries. But not all because of the fear of acceptance from their parents, relatives and other extended families who won’t give a shit about your life but are there just to gossip.

      Before you say anything, I myself am an Indian, and yes my girlfriend isn’t.
      Jun 4
  • Twitter bad🥒
    Move back to India and go for arranged marriage.

    Not joking.
    Jun 3 10
    • Amazon vkvtn3
      OP
      At 24?
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng xbebj
      You don't need to go back to India. Just try arranged marriage. Within three years you should be able to get a beautiful girl who is compatible.
      Jun 3
    • Amazon vkvtn3
      OP
      So start looking now and be super selective?
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng xbebj
      Yes but don't go back to India. Greatly increase your value and TC here no way you can make that much in India. Girls will be enticed by the possibility of living in the US so your value in arranged marriage market increases. Ask your parents to find a girl for you. At your age you can easily get a young beautiful just graduated college girl.
      Jun 3
    • Amazon vkvtn3
      OP
      This arranged marriage thing looks good but if things go fast, I might be married within a year. Not sure I'm ready for it
      Jun 3
    • SAP tjjW71
      xbebj, terrible advice. He's looking for a life partner, not a showpiece. Do you even know how many girls recently moved here from India find adjusting to life here difficult? Please don't entice girls with dreams that are sure to be broken. Life here is hardly a bed of roses, especially if you are getting transplanted here right after marriage (that too, arranged), with only your spouse for company. If his wife is going to be unhappy, OP is, too. Between getting an additional degree here to get a job, and trying to get SOME semblance of stability through a residency that may never materialize, I think you should be pretty upfront about reality here when you speak to any girl back home.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng xbebj
      Yeah reality is she can live a luxurious life here and travel when she likes on her husband's salary
      Jun 4
    • SAP tjjW71
      'Luxurious'? Definitely not soon after marriage, and definitely not with an almost-fresh graduate like OP.

      At this juncture, it appears you are more out to score a point than to have a discussion based on facts, so I'll leave you to your imagination.
      Jun 4
    • Salesforce guacamoLay
      Females in India have someone at home to cook, a maid to do the dishes, maid to clean, etc. They are living the good life. At least in major cities. Don't make the mistake of thinking your life will be better if you marry and bring one here. She'll be a housewife and go crazy with the boredom and lack of spending power.
      Jun 4
    • Axtria DesiLaunda
      @SAP 👏👏
      Jun 4
  • Google / Eng relprime
    Your first paragraph implies that you think women's crushes are dependent on degrees and salaries. This is not the case, my friend!

    There is a huge gender imbalance in the bay area. It's frustrating for both women and men.
    Jun 3 13
    • Google / Eng relprime
      In what way do you think American women are demanding? What 2 conditions?
      Jun 3
    • Uber himu00
      Why would the gender imbalance be frustrating for women?
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng relprime
      @himu00 Do you not read all the misogyny on here?
      Jun 3
    • Social status and good financial wealth are 2 conditions.

      On top of it, women prefer good looking males in fit body and bright skin. Also, he needs to spend extra time showing his love.

      Sorry to sound cocky, but I don’t have time for that. I rather optimize for TC and find my partner in my 30s.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng relprime
      Dear snake, you do sound cocky. You are explaining to a woman what women want and you're wrong. We don't like guys who think they can buy our love. It's a huge turn off.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng relprime
      @himu00 a few reasons why the gender imbalance is frustrating for women... dudes have literally no idea how to interact with women, they see us as objects, they get their ideas of what women want from other dudes instead of female friends...
      Jun 3
    • unfortunately, that’s how I see the world about dating right now. It’s time consuming and requires effort from both sides

      When I am more financially stable, things may change.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng relprime
      That's fair. I also don't like dating when I'm too stressed. Unfortunately, tech is pretty awful to women. The gender imbalance is no fun for anyone.
      Jun 3
    • New / Product
      falcon3

      New Product

      PRE
      Google
      BIO
      Startup enthusiast. Trying to make the world a better place! :)
      falcon3more
      @relprime: tech is pretty awful to men too. Since my engineering days I’m facing this problem. Only 1 in 100 women in tech look good.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng relprime
      @falcon3 I disagree with that statistic. Also, WTF? What's your estimate on the percentage of men in tech who are attractive? Does anyone care?
      Jun 4
  • Google googlur
    Hit the gym and get an American accent
    Jun 3 8
    • Amazon vkvtn3
      OP
      I'm not fat neither skinny. Thanks to metabolism! Still gym?
      Jun 3
    • Google googlur
      Yeah go for muscular look
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng xbebj
      Don't waste your time with fake accent you'll sound like a loser trying hard. Going to the gym will surely help but not by much. Do the gym for yourself not just some girl.
      Jun 3
    • Amazon vkvtn3
      OP
      Agree. I play sports but hate gym. I guess I'll have to do it
      Jun 3
    • Citrix Systems / Eng peda
      Why the fuck you want American accent. Be proud of your accent. Don’t become slave !!
      Jun 3
    • Facebook / Eng 🤸🏼‍♀️🦝z
      Don't even worry about your accent if you are understandable to random Americans.

      Hottest guy I've met out here was a Indian guy (from India) that regularly hit the gym over lunch.

      Too bad he was married with kids...
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng relprime
      Join some co-ed sports! You can make some friends!
      Jun 3
    • New hqWe60
      skinny fat?
      Jun 4
  • Salesforce guacamoLay
    Your freaking 24. Focus on your career, hobbies and travel. You have at least 20 more years to find a wife! This is what I'd tell my 24 y old self. Relationships at your age hardly end in marriage anyway. People diverge in their 20s.
    Jun 4 13
    • Salesforce guacamoLay
      Not quite. It's the same all around.
      Jun 4
    • Google / Eng prsdj
      Yeah men are the same as women diversity is our strength. Spare me please
      Jun 4
    • Salesforce guacamoLay
      Dating is hard for both. Might be easier for women in their 20s. But marrying in your 20s before you have your professional life in order is a risk lots of women don't want to run. I'm 35 and dating isn't eazy peezy. But I wouldn't give up the experience of my younger years for a relationship. I backpacked/ traveled to 14 countries, did doctoral research, founding/ early engineer at two startups, did lsd and lots of fun things.
      I'm trying to help OP realize that there's more to life, that's all. It's not a difficulty contest between dating for men and women.
      Jun 4
    • Google / Eng prsdj
      I'm 31 virgin. OP is on fast track to becoming me if you ask him yo be patient.
      Jun 4
    • Google / Eng relprime
      Men: The patriarchy doesn't exist.
      Also men: We must entrap young women in marriage.
      Jun 4
    • Yelp / Eng SQN
      gaucamoLay: that sounds all well and great but it sounds like your experiences in your early 20s came from a position of some privilege. For many people here (perhaps the OP too): you can't just pack up and travel without jeopardizing your right to work in the US. The opportunity cost of doing so and losing your ability to work here over your entire life would be tremendous.
      Jun 4
    • Salesforce guacamoLay
      It came from choice, not privilege. I'm Indian. I just chose to not focus on TC but to focus on academia and travel. And live in youth hostels. I didn't make 6 figures until 2-3 years back. Yes I'm behind most women my age in the objective sense (TC/ husband/ child/etc) but there's a positive to every negative. If OP works here, one backpacking trip a year is something he can afford. Going to the city and attending some cool meetups is something he can afford.
      In the worst case, focus on career and TC and when in 30s, hire a match maker!
      It's just sad to see a talented 24y old making a lack of a crush of an arbitrary hypothetical woman the biggest problem of his life.
      Jun 5
    • Microsoft whadaheck
      Dating around is also another experience that is huge part of life. You cannot do that once you are married. It is as important as touring around or doing PhD if not more, for many people.
      Jun 5
    • Salesforce guacamoLay
      Yes agree. I did a ton of that. But dates don't come when you look for them. They come when you are being too cool to bother 😎
      Jun 5
    • Microsoft whadaheck
      I agree!
      Jun 5
  • Facebook enginer
    White guy here.

    Honestly I think arranged marriage is a good deal. The modern ones basically set you up on dates with girls they think are okay. Both sides have the same expectations and you share culture.

    I think it's better than the tinder/bar lottery.
    Jun 3 2
    • Facebook enginer
      The more traditional arranged marriages where the couple doesn't get much say are obviously lame.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng hooli.xyz
      There are still more traditional arranged marriages than modern ones.

      You’ll see a lot of posts here on Blind where a guy is asking for help with some marriage issue, lack of sex for example. It usually turns out the guy is in an arranged marriage and has absolutely no chemistry with the woman.
      Jun 4
  • Amazon / Eng AmazonBoob
    Probably Ugly
    Jun 3 0
  • Lyft surge!!!
    You probably just need to Change your vibe and attitude. I’m indian but American born so I have a different vibe.

    Pm me if you need help .
    Jun 3 1
  • Facebook ishygddt
    Maybe don’t refer to women as “females”, dumbass
    Jun 4 1
    • Snapchat pills
      Online personality != Offline personality
      Jun 5
  • You’re still very young! Which means girls who find you suitable are even younger, mostly. This age is tough for a lot of men.

    Just enjoy single life. Find some hobbies. You’ll become more desirable when you’re 28-40. That’s when the women you date want to settle down.
    Jun 3 5
    • Google / Eng xbebj
      Yeah the left over women who never gave you a chance when they were young will settle for you for your money. OP look for a young freshly graduated girl now
      Jun 4
    • SAP tjjW71
      OP, ignore xbebj's advice. He speaks as though a fresh graduate can't be a gold digger. It's much better to marry when you are a bit settled in your career, and both of you have developed some maturity and given some thought to the kind of spouse you are looking for.
      Jun 4
    • Google / Eng prsdj
      Graduate might be a gold digger but her body is still young.
      Jun 4
    • Snapchat pills
      Nah xbebj is right. Essentially alot of the advice is boiling down to "you're not hot enough for dating right now, wait until a girl settles for you and your accumulated money when youre 30".

      F that noise
      Jun 5
    • Google / Eng prsdj
      Yeah the guy's right. Not going to be billy beta
      Jun 5
  • VoyageUp RktR41
    You make 200k TC? For $180 I will write your dating profile and craft a few responses. If you don't score at least two dates in June, will give you 50% refund.
    Jun 4 0
  • New
    Uoseidon

    New

    PRE
    Yahoo
    Uoseidonmore
    the male to female ratio is not in your favor; the population is not diverse, most work in high tech; the girls tend to be more materialistic, it's not just your problem. take an art class, learn a foreign language, go to a play, go travel, read more books not just software books, believe me, the girls will come to you when they find you are interesting.
    Jun 4 0
  • PayPal .Me
    It’s a matter of perspective, a nice looking woman can date 6’4 funny dudes, with awesome beards, a BIG personality iykwim and a 6 figure salary. Why would they want to date you instead?
    Jun 4 1
    • Microsoft whadaheck
      Because of beard on that guy.
      Jun 5
  • Booking.com UcKQ68
    Forget about chasing useless TC, go home and enjoy life
    Jun 4 0
  • Uber himu00
    Any luck with dating apps?
    Jun 3 2
    • Amazon vkvtn3
      OP
      Nope.
      Jun 3
    • Google / Eng xbebj
      No shit. Indians never get responses
      Jun 4
  • Zillow Group >>>
    You need to add your TC in your tinder profile, thank me latter
    Jun 5 0
  • Amazon / Eng Zuckerbot
    This is harder than it sounds, but stop caring and instead, focus on yourself. Get fit. Play sports. Go out and have a good time, and the rest will follow.
    Jun 5 0
  • Workday HMyq68
    Women have the pick of the litter in the Bay Area. Someone said this before but it’s true; dating is a numbers game. Meet as many women as you can. Be interesting. Do things other than work and working out. If you are already in decent shape, do you have a sense of style? Men who tend to dress well, not necessarily rich, get dates easier. Also know how to play the game respectfully. The goal is to be desirable, not a player. (Assuming you actually want to find someone and not just fool around).
    Jun 4 0
  • Wipro VendettaV
    You want tensions in your life ?
    Jun 4 0
  • Lyft wXfl07
    1. Take an art class or cooking class. 2. Prioritize mating higher than career. 3. Find some way to meet at least one new woman (and talk to her) per week - it's a numbers game, 4. Giving a Meetup tech talk or teaching at a community college will get you in front of more women!
    Jun 4 0
  • Google EndGam3
    You and 100000 others did that. So suck it up and get in line.
    Jun 3 0
  • Samsung
    chajimogo

    Samsung

    BIO
    Stressed out but surviving
    chajimogomore
    Because no girl knows whether you are a masters, PhD, or just another dude who is geeky and doesn’t know how to approach women other than “what’s your line sugar?” You need to approach women and it takes practice. Fail the first few times, learn and you will get better at it. Also this is sausage valley. Women runs the market here so you are at a severe disadvantage.
    Jun 3 0
  • Amazon DiaUno
    I'm also Indian and around your age (American born) and am in Seattle which is arguably worse for dating than SF.

    Seeing three girls right now and enjoying life, any more than that and it gets hard to keep track of. Get some decent feedback on your Tinder/Bumble profiles from friends and use decent quality photos, you'll notice a big difference
    Jun 3 0
  • LinkedIn stuffy🐷
    Too short?
    Jun 3 0
  • 🤣🤣
    Jun 3 0
  • Google 1234-/:;(
    Buy lambo and rev the engine everywhere. Girls will come
    Jun 5 1
    • Marketing cars with girl models fked your mind
      Jun 6
  • Amazon / Other
    Rbrtchng1

    Amazon Other

    BIO
    I’m probably cooler than you
    Rbrtchng1more
    Yes, this is normal for someone like you
    Jun 10 0
  • Amazon jef556
    Keep trying, get hookers once in a while, look for mail order brides. There are many countries with fierce competition for guys, try your luck there.
    Jun 3 0

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