I’m really good at what I do. When I’m on a team, I find people are very nice until they realize I’m really good. Once they know this, some peers start attacking me and then the politics get really hard to handle. I’m not interested in a fight so I usually try to ignore or not get in other people’s way or give them what they want. Whenever I have had a strong manager supporting me, I’m usually unharmed. But, otherwise, people are able to do mean things like give wrong feedback, talk behind your back, take credit for my work etc. I have been feeling discouraged and depressed by this happening. When I find it difficult I usually leave the team. Any advice on how to handle this? I’m a senior PM. I have 6 years of experience. L63 235k TC
There's an HBR (Harvard Business Review) series on office politics. You might want to try that out? I don't think you can just ignore office politics though
Thanks. Will try it out
You may need to manage others’ expectations so they really see you as being on their side. You can do this by being community focused or team focused through constant actions that demonstrate pro social behaviors and being supportive. To get more concrete actions you can do, you can look up how to promote psychological safety on your team. You can also try learning about different styles of leadership, maybe there is an empathetic style that will help limit the amount that others feel threatened and instead - they will see you as a teammate that will be on their side.
I’m not sure how exactly to do this. My dev teams and partner teams really like me and have always given very positive feedback. I have problems only with peer PMs. It gets worse on teams when the manager already has his friends as his directs.
People do not attack whose who are 'really good at what they do'. You are omitting important details about your personality or most probably do not see what problem is to address it correctly.
Agreed, there are some missing details here. What I’d suggest is to take a long hard look at yourself and try to see things objectively. Are you stepping on others to be “really good at what you do”? What feedback are they giving you and why do you assume it’s “wrong feedback?”
What is envy? How do people deal with it? What is a zero sum game? What is office politics?
Question your assumptions. Things like "I am really good at what I do". Maybe others don't agree with that.
I don’t honestly think that’s the issue. I get great feedback from my devs, partners and the people I work with. It is the peers, my managers other directs who I don’t work with a lot who make up these wrong things. It starts or gets worse when I’m being given better opportunities etc.
All of what you described is bullying in the workplace. You must stand up for yourself and confront, in a professional and semi private way. The only way to make it stop is to expose the truth for what it is. It is even acceptable for some else to take credit for your work. Secondly, talking behind your back is not acceptable either, call that person out and ask them if there is anything they would like to discuss face to face? Same goes from wrong feedback. In today's day and age you must learn to stick up for yourself of they will always treat you like a door mat.
Thanks for understanding. This is exactly what’s going on.
Read this book https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit_Jobs
OP's job is some kind of inter team coordination. Not exactly BS job, but it definitely has no upside and no peer respect. OP should move to more human friendly area: any kind of management.
It’s easier for people to Bully in this type of role. This particular team is really bad. I’m looking for another job now.
Try carpenter. Or at least engineer. Try to do work that actually not bullshit, you’ll be happier
TLDR: “I’m great people hate me”
In middle school, wasn't it typically the stupid that bullied the intelligent? I can only imagine that seeing a kid next to you getting a much higher grade would be a source of envy or jealousy
I did not mean it in a boastful manner. I was just saying I really care about my work and do it well.