TL;DR: I met a friendly lady and I may have misread her intention. It's painful this is my first try to bond with a lady. I posted earlier this week how I have never had a girlfriend and/or yet to have. So last week there's a lady at the library helpdesk where I attend night classes that always smiles at me. I seized the smiling moment to inquire why she smiles whenever she sees me come or pass by the circulation desk - she said she has a ”good soul.” Based on my research, 10 people confirmed that she smiles a lot. Long story short: we decided to talk briefly after her shift. And coincidentally, she changed her plan from going to the grocery store to staying back to study. After our unstructured talk from career to family, to preferences, etc. I decided to offer her a ride home (because it was late and she told me during the course of our interaction that she goes home early before dark), but she respectfully declined. I then decided to walk her to the bus stop. While walking to the bus stop I asked her about her plans on weekends, and she said she's very busy: Saturday -visit her family in the city. Sunday - rest. While departing, she decided to take my number. I didn't ask. I texted her that night, saw her the second day at her job - exchange greetings, but I notice when she texts me, and I respond, she doesn't read or reply to me. The last time I saw her was Friday last week. I asked if I can walk her to her stop, she said no, and she said she was going to come to me once she returns the book she checked out. This girl didn't show up, and I made up my mind, not to text her, and I have been avoiding the library since Monday so I won't see her. Question: did she play me with her smile, and why did she stop replying my text, and showed up again? I have closed her case. Very terrible first experience.
"Based on my research, 10 people confirmed that she smiles a lot." I'm just imagining you walking up to 10 randos in the library "hey...quick question, does the librarian ever smile at you? I think she wants to do the needful and just want to make sure of her intentions."
you're correct! i polled a few regulars at the library spot where i stay at night to gauge their perspectives of her. they all affirmed that she smiles a lot. in retrospect, i think it's wrong. but those i asked are close to me somewhat.
Sounds like you’re creepy af dude. She’s didn’t dupe you, she’s just trying to turn you down while still being nice to you.
agreed!
Define 'bond with.'
ask her out to be my wife.
😂 right. why ask her out for dinner when you can straight up ask for marriage?
She has no intentions towards you. You may appear in her mind somewhat convenient for conversation sometime
Noted!
Some people are nice. You sound like you have an intense personality. Tone it down a bit. You’ve read a lot into friendliness.
intense personality? how do you define that, please? you may be right.
Some indicators, you really analyzed a pretty benign gesture (smiling). And you’ve replied to nearly every post after sharing your quite lengthy analysis. Lol ;) Some people are really surface and shallow about things until enough surface and shallow has occurred that they have no choice but not to be. Other people are the exact opposite and some times to the point of deriving meaning where there is none. Nothing wrong with either type of person but you will quickly discover there are a shit ton more of the former and they’re usually weirded out by the latter. Lol she smiled. She could have been into you. She could have been a complete flake. She just could have been smiling. Either way, now that she’s distanced herself move on. If she wants you, she’ll make it more clear. You shouldn’t have to chase her in confusion, could get you arrested. Lol
How many nipples has she shown you? This can be a good gauge of intent.
she wears clothes that cover all her body, and i didn't even think about that.
I hope you know that was a joke dude.
You need to dial down the expectations (people don't owe you anything) and the suspicions (very few people have active hostile feelings toward others and explicitly want to dupe them).
Agreed! Maybe played me with her smile instead of dupe.
Move on. She's no longer into you. You creeped her out by offering to drop her off when she barely knows you and made the situation progressively worse. Tone the duck down and be chill/less aggressive. You have a lotttt to learn. In future you will look back at this incident and laugh at yourself. But it's all good, part of learning. (Do a little thought experiment of a random girl doing this to you. How would you react?)
Agreed! I was only being nice though.
A woman can’t “play” you just by smiling. Jesus Christ. She works with the public and is trained to be friendly and smile at everyone. I would move on. She does not appear to be interested.
agreed! i misread her.
All librarians I've seen smile. What's wrong with you?!
my expectations were different and most librarians i have met never really smile the way she does. hence, why i went with the flow.