Software Engineers at 40s/50s, how are you doing?

Walmart.com realDTrump
Jan 22 330 Comments

First, I want to say you guys are real heroes and pioneers. Without the solid work you had contributed, tech won’t bloom like this today.

But also interesting and curious to see other sides given this industry’s pace.

So...

How is work? Keeping up with technologies, aggressive young kids, etc

How is family? Kids schools, day care, youth problems

How is life? Fully occupied? Got some free time? Etc...

How is retirement preparation? All ready? On track? Still working on it?

How are you doing?

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TOP 330 Comments
  • eBay / Eng drbhe
    Are u guys leetcoding ?
    Jan 22 15
    • Microsoft 🥜ela2
      Seriously, grizzled I want to be like you at your age!
      Jan 24
    • Cerner ? ? ?
      @grizzled do you have one of the fancy titles CTO, Distinguished Engineer, Chief Engineer, etc.

      Do you blog or write about your journey as an Engineer
      Jan 24
    • Splunk KE94107
      Am old enough to absolutely DETEST the (relatively) recent rise of whiteboard coding challenge interviews. Interviews used to be: Do you have a pulse? Ok, here’s a job, start coding. You’ll figure out how if you don’t already.
      Jan 24
    • Splunk KE94107
      Not where I was.
      Jan 25
    • Splunk KE94107
      Back in the “old days” of 10 years ago (not 20), they used to ask interview questions related to your experience and the actual work they want you to do. Now, they give challenges utterly unrelated to the day to day work.
      Jan 25
  • New @(^_^)@
    I am 40, leetcoding, and trying to get out of the Midwest. 20 YOE - I was a teen father and did not have 4 years for school.

    My kids are nearly grown and the reason why I'm finally ready to get out of the Midwest.

    Techwise my first professional gig was maintaining a VB6 app. After that I worked with .net many years (it is big out here). I switched to Ruby and JavaScript in 2008. I like to think I keep up. My latest project is a ton of AWS (DynamoDB, API Gateway, Lambda, CloudFront, CloudFormation), Serverless framework, GraphQL (Apollo), and Preact. I genuinely enjoy programming so keeping up isn't a problem.

    My market has limited options for boosting TC. Engineers hit ~130K. If you want more income you need to go into management or go independent. I went independent. I bill around 110/hr Corp to Corp. My wife has insurance through her work so it works out nicely.

    I was a single father for many years and I did end up completing my CS degree. I'm currently working on my MS in CS.

    Some of the posts here have me a little discouraged. I know I'd be downleveled heading out to the west coast. I'm not willing to downgrade my lifestyle for a chance to run with the big dogs so I might be stuck out here for good!
    Jan 22 18
    • Clover Health / Eng doenfh
      Cool post. Question: were we cloned in a transporter accident?!
      Jan 23
    • New @(^_^)@
      You can call me Thomas. 😉
      Jan 23
    • Twilio / Other nizz
      Why do you think you would be downleveled? We have a few remote employees in the midwest making good money, and some who have moved that are doing very well.
      Jan 23
    • New @(^_^)@
      Re: downleveling. I am working on leetcode but I wouldn't say I'm a strong interviewer yet. The west coast style of interviewing is intense. The interview process at my last gig consisted of a brief phone call with a director.

      Another reason for downleveling is that over the years I took some gigs that weren't helpful for me with respect to career growth. Things like working remotely on a small/weak team. These gigs were good for a single parent that's trying to hold their family together; I did what I had to do.
      Jan 23
    • Clover Health / Eng doenfh
      Call me Will.
      Jan 23
  • Dell &@""@&
    Very good post
    Jan 22 2
    • PayPal / Eng FrogInWell
      Sometimes Trump asks really good questions
      Jan 24
    • Walmart.com realDTrump
      OP
      This is what the President should do. Thanks
      Jan 26
  • Pandora / Other
    Western

    Pandora Other

    PRE
    Pandora
    Westernmore
    Funny, cause most of these software engineers are white males and are probably managers now or high level individual contributors. This demographic of software engineers are not diverse or represent the California / US demographic. The question is, how are these engineers helping talent of color transition into these roles and opportunities to succeed
    Jan 23 26
    • Walmart.com ToKL28
      @amazon, bad idea leading to segregation. Poor students with no choice will end up in bad schools and have no chance.
      Jan 26
    • Amazon TylL45
      ToK competition has never led to segregation. Your own company Walmart is a shining example of competition reducing prices and lifting std of living for the poor.
      Jan 27
    • Walmart.com ToKL28
      😂😂😂coming from Amazon guy. Walmart employs 2 million people and their working conditions are much better than running around warehouses all day wearing diapers.
      Just throwing a word "competition" does not cancel the facts.
      Jan 27
    • Amazon TylL45
      I was praising Walmart as a competitor that helped lower prices of goods and lift std of living for the poor. Apparently you took my genuine praise as sarcasm, and replied with your own snark.

      Competition increases quality and reduces prices. Regardless of whether the product is a widget or an educational program.
      Jan 28
    • Medidata Solutions Hobbesian
      In the real world no one is going to give you sh!t. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in fairness of opportunity (just fairness in general) but chances should go to those who show they want it the most, not to those (no matter what their ethnicity) looking for a hand out.
      Jan 29
  • New ktFx33
    I work with two devs in mid 50s. One was promoted to director role but didn’t like the stress now codes again. They’ve worked with the same code base for 20 years so obviously they’re very good
    Jan 22 10
    • healthfinch / Eng bel
      It’s an experience that is undervalued, working on a single product for a long time. I don’t disagree there’s value in seeing more than one codebase, but I don’t think some devs understand what working a very long time with a single, large codebase or product can bring in terms of experience. I like contracting and consulting because you get see a lot of different kinds of organizational disarray in rapid succession, but staying put for 5+ years will show you another side that dopamine seeking devs with a desire for new toys and green fields will take longer to realize.
      Jan 23
    • New
      edalric

      New

      BIO
      full metal alchemist
      edalricmore
      @DaZ you're right in general but this scenario of single codebase for long often plays out at big corps, think Oracle db/dw, Microsoft Windows OS/server, & mostly enterprise products because support cycles are huge & it is hard for companies to simply update software forget replacing it.
      Also with such a unique skill these guys are valuable to competitions in same space.
      Jan 23
    • Airbnb DaZ
      I know people that worked on some of the things you’ve named there, that are effectively stuck there. Some got laid off from their jobs and had difficulty finding something comparable because they invested so heavily in skills that were not transferable
      Jan 23
    • Airbnb DaZ
      I don’t know about that, but in a few years there will be lots of 40 year olds at Airbnb. The culture is young now because it’s a young startup in SF but that will change.
      Jan 24
    • Nurx kRSt03
      Working on a codebase for more than 5 years is a rare skill that actually is gaining value. You’ve actually lived through what it means to write maintainable software and learned the lessons and felt the pain first hand. People who switch jobs every 2 years don’t have that skill and learn how to write good software more slowly. They also don’t know how to do refactors without shutting down the company
      Jan 24
  • Cisco Infensus
    We'll get some anti-survivorship bias in this post, since the really good ones managed to retire in their thirties.
    Jan 22 5
    • Amazon / Eng
      IyuB80

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Cisco
      IyuB80more
      Shots fired Infensus.. how’s Cisco day care by the way?
      Jan 23
    • Tableau hellish
      That is bs, Cisco. I could probably retire but back at Microsoft when I had 3 stock splits, tons of people retired, blew their money, and came back. There's a lot of luck in retiring early. And I did a little leetcode last time. In my 50s, last interview cycle 2 years ago 4 interviews, 4 offers. So suck it, youngen.
      Jan 23
    • Yoe ?
      Jan 23
    • Airbnb DaZ
      I don’t think people realize how much TC has gone up over just the last 10 years at top companies. People that are in their 40s today did not have that opportunity to accumulate insane wealth at an early age unless they were extremely lucky in company choice.
      Jan 23
    • Tableau hellish
      I have > 20 yoe, got my PhD before I started in the great game.
      Jan 23
  • Uber Rocco69
    44 been a SWE for 22 yrs. I am not fast as the younger folks but I don't make nearly as many mistakes. People actually cared more about bugs 20 years ago when the release cycles were years long. But my strategy for staying up to date is to move jobs every 3 years or so and do different things like going from backend to mobile to web etc. Also do projects and apps at home to keep your interest up. I know that's hard with kids, but you don't have to do a lot, just enough to keep you motivated. I also do a Leetcode problem a day for defensive purposes. I figure I can do this till I'm 50 before I get too frustrated. Luckily I've been with two other companies that have IPOed, soon to be 3, so I can just chill at 50 and do something else, or nothing at all. 🙂 Happy engineering fellas and gals
    Jan 23 4
    • Tableau hellish
      You can still get a job as a dev after 50. I did.
      Jan 23
    • Snapchat BigCoin
      Dude this is inspiration
      Jan 23
    • Facebook DxCe86
      Do you own a boat?
      Jan 24
    • Booking.com
      You should buy a yaht.
      Jan 25
  • Medtronic / Eng SnakeDr
    Doing well, approaching 50, thinking about retiring at 55, but kids will be in college at that time...so may work a bit longer.

    I still have fun everyday at work, but I also work with most of my best friends. My house will be paid off soon, then the stock piling of retirement cash will ramp up, just in time to help out with college.

    I would definitely recommend someone in college to choose something other than Software engineering, but I’ve enjoyed nearly every day at work in the 25 years I’ve been working, so no real complaints.
    Jan 22 10
    • Medtronic / Eng SnakeDr
      Things are just too configuration orientated, most days are spent in meeting, drafting diagrams, or explaining things to management...Coding as a hobby is a blast, but it does feel a little like work some days...maybe all engineering is the same, but I think more and more you get one one or two all stars on a project, and the rest of the team are just code-monkeys or overseas untrained code-monkeys...so the all stars spend the whole time fixing shit and then the project wraps up and the maintenance cycles begin at the same time the next project or two start.

      So, in the good ole day I feel like everyone was talented, but more and more coders are need to crank out for a lot of the apps, basically drag and drop deliverables...there are more and more idiot engineers out there, reminds me of the early 2000’s before things crashed and all the shit programmers got canned.
      Jan 23
    • Tableau hellish
      There is still creative and original bespoke software, but it's higher level like database implementation. Most of the time it makes more sense to use a DB than make one from scratch.
      Jan 23
    • Medtronic / Eng SnakeDr
      Yeah so much code that is good has been written, it’s also more and more all you do is stitch it together, rather getting to write something from scratch...sure it makes for a better cheaper product, but it’s just not as fun as it was.
      Jan 23
    • Google / Eng
      Evenflow

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Northrop Grumman
      Evenflowmore
      I prefer the higher level software engineering vs programming myself, but I have an ee background so maybe that's just more my style
      Jan 23
    • Medtronic / Eng SnakeDr
      Coding has always been the fun part for me, but there becomes a point where most problems have trivial solutions, so yeah I get what you mean by the high level stuff becomes the enjoyable part.
      Jan 23
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Microsoft OIC-u812
      We are the not reason you’re failing to reach your goals. Some of us thought our goals through from the time we were little and acted “as if…”

      Generally speaking, your economics station in life is under your control. The decisions you make with your time will dictate the outcome of your money.

      Real talk. But money isn’t everything. I chose a career and the rest of my life is shit. That is also entirely my fault. Find balance early in life.
      Jan 23
    • Adobe VTJL44
      There are many people who are much less fortunate than you even in seemingly prosperous areas. Some are homeless, some are illiterate, some have no chance at receiving a higher education to break the poverty cycle.

      Even if you don't think you can find a single person to spend the rest of your life with you, you can enjoy little bits and pieces of other's lives while feeling and receiving love from and for them. You'll grow to love those you serve.
      Jan 23
    • Facebook KaCt81
      I really hope you find things you like outside of work before you stop working.
      Jan 23
    • Tumblr hotel
      Man, there is still things to do. Get therapy, travel, change your life, go to southern Italy and learn a new coulture. Don't close your self
      Jan 23
    • Sephora clownface
      You know, Tinder is always an option.
      Jan 23
  • Palo Alto Networks gt56
    Great questions. I feel I am lucky... Living the 2000 boom was special. Seeing the technical revolution every decades and being in the middle of it has been a great ride. Northern California is a great place to live. The oldies (40/50) have their home when it was much cheaper. Housing is problem solved. The money you make in Bay Area allows you to retire comfortably in most area in the world. The only question is if you can retire in bay area or not. I think we are in the golden age of computer science. High TC, interesting work, so many perks. If I had an advice for younger generation, take good calculated risk. If you play too safe, life in computer science can get boring.
    Jan 22 1
  • Walmart.com ToKL28
    I'm in my 40s. Have a lot of experience with data pipelines, ML, micro services and the actual production operations.

    We are a single income family and I have a little son. He goes to an amazing private school, which keeps me on my toes financially.

    My leetcode was subpar. I could not engage enough due to family commitments, so ended up in subpar company (Walmart).

    Recently got myself out of the 💩show. Spent 3 month on leetcode. Solved close to 200 problems. Got an amazing 🤑🤑🤑 offer from tier 1 company.

    My manager is about to get the news soon.
    Jan 23 10
    • Walmart.com ToKL28
      Oh yeah I was freaking motivated. Every time I would come and see the 💩 show at work I would channel my 😡 to leetcode.
      I was actually surprised it went this well. I was ready to go 6 month. Got it in 3.
      Jan 24
    • Splunk KE94107
      Maybe that’s my problem. Splunk’s actually pretty good.
      Jan 25
    • Walmart.com ToKL28
      Then why do you want to leave?
      Jan 25
    • Splunk KE94107
      Reasons unrelated to current job satisfaction.
      Jan 26
    • Apple TimHorton$
      Walmart is definitely a rolling dumpster fire. Congrats!
      Jan 29
  • MailChimp oceannn
    Just turned 40. I'm constantly torn about how well I'm doing. I have 950k (combined savings and investments) which makes me feel pretty far behind after spending a few weeks on Blind. TC is 210k (I'm in Atlanta) so my goal this year is to start leetcoding and look for more lucrative opportunities. My company is full of young and very smart people which is awesome but intimidating. I used to think I was doing well in my age group but I don't know anymore. I guess it doesn't matter though, as long as I'm happy. My biggest source of happiness is my beautiful daughter and I feel lucky to have her in my life. It's sort of a struggle to open up my laptop or a tech book when I get home. I much prefer spending time with my daughter and getting some fresh air when I'm not working. Sorry for the rant
    Jan 23 7
    • OpenDoor / Eng MhBB55
      Not sure you’ll find much more lucrative in ATL than that. Maybe Square or FullStory? If you’re open to paper money, Opendoor could use some more senior engineers here :p
      Jan 23
    • Tableau hellish
      Sounds to me like oceann is doing fine. Keep learning and growing, that's the key. There's a lot of bragging about money here. Making 500k a year in SF means paying a massive amount in taxes, expensive house and sitting in traffic.
      Jan 23
    • Bleacher Report / Eng jwSX53
      Having 950k at 40 is damn good going. Unless you were hoping to own an NBA team in your retirement, I can’t imagine you’ll be feeling the pinch even if you plan on retiring fairly soon.
      Jan 23
    • New kahl20
      35 with $160k TC and on track to have $900k by 40. I feel equally behind after reading Blind. Feels like I could save another $500k in 2-3 years if I lived as frugally in SF as I do here. But people always complain about the col there so hard to really know what to believe. I doubt the average person in Blind has significantly more than that by 40.
      Jan 23
    • New kahl20
      Based on Blind, it seems like we should all be retiring with $15-20M. If that’s actually happening then fml. But I tend to doubt it or I really screwed up.
      Jan 23
  • Cisco / Other endofdaysx
    45 and approaching retirement (weeks).
    Jan 22 24
    • Cisco / Other endofdays9
      Pensions are amazing. If CA doesn’t default, almost all firefighters and police will retire with a higher retirement income than most tech people. Given the CA constitution it is very unlikely there will be broad defaults.
      Jan 24
    • Snapchat BigCoin
      2.7 is far from even coming close to risky SWR. Trinity study basically showed that 4% is a good 30 year historical withdraw AND that it’s far more likely you’ll end up with MORE money than u started at retirement. For a 60 year retirement plan, it matters more where the asset allocations are - as long as 60%(?) are kept in stocks, then it’s more than fine
      Jan 24
    • Cisco / Other endofdays9
      The guy who mentioned Japan was referring to the economic crash after their bubble in the late 80s. The magnitude of the bubble and the decline was such that even a 1% WR would have failed by now. I have some direct experience with the Japanese bubble.

      It’s pretty clear that for the 2000 cohort the 4% rule will end up failing as it did for 1965.

      There is a selection bias in how people choose their retirement dates - very typically someone hits a number and says “there - that’s the number I needed, I’m done” and retires. The issue is that people who think this way tend to cluster on market peaks which means that they will be challenged by actual market for performance. They are basically picking the worst point in time to retire from a sequence of returns risk POV.

      Also just to close this thread out, when you start looking at 45, 50 and 60 year timeframes, you also are at risk of large mega-events like the impact of wars, for example, which we don’t seem to do any more but it’s possible.
      Jan 25
    • Lowe’s <3
      So diversifying your flags (citizenship, passports) can be a good idea. Wars happen. Diversifying where your assets are long term is a pretty good idea. And earning some income in FIRE of course helps.
      Feb 6
    • Snapchat BigCoin
      Multiple citizenships

      Multiple revenues of mostly-passive income (income hedges inflation)

      Highly diversified portfolio (real estate, equity, crypto, gold ...etc)

      The more steps on the ladder, the better
      Feb 6
  • Rackspace ebii22
    I started writing code in 1970 as a hobby and have been doing it professionally since 1978 (so over 40 years). I've been a part of all this tech growing up. Three generations of software developers in my family. I've always stayed on the leading edge of tech but I have been on the East Coast.

    At ~160K salary with TC ~210K now and 61 years old. $1M in my 401k and another $500K in other assets. Still working full-time but I have a lot of flexibility. Never got the big bucks from the West Coast.

    I'll be able to retire by 65, possibly earlier if my retirement advisor tells me to. But I have been able to test the waters of management and always successfully returned to coding.
    Jan 23 4
    • Walmart.com realDTrump
      OP
      Damn... almost 50 yoe? You are the history!
      Jan 23
    • Rackspace ebii22
      Yeah, I have a lot of stories.
      Jan 23
    • VMware empathymin
      How can you go through the entire tech growth cycle and only save 1.5 mil? I keep thinking all engineers who worked more than 20 years must have a few mil socked away
      Jan 25
    • Tableau thepete
      @empathymin it’s all about the timing and who you work for. I worked with a guy years ago who drove around his Microsoft Porsche ( it was a honda) the story goes in 94 his car broke down and it cost so much to repair it he decided his Microsoft stock wasn’t going anywhere so he sold all of it and bought a Honda. Markets go up and down for every successful startup seven fail. There’s a lot of luck involved.
      Jan 27
  • Uber ZombieZoo
    Mostly bored and sick of youngsters whining.
    Jan 23 9
    • Walmart.com ToKL28
      It's all in your head. I'm friends with many millennials and they are great people and fun to be around. Somehow they don't mind to go for drinks with a dude twice their age.
      I totally share the culture. I'm also entitled brat. I believe that we can and should demand more from the world. You only get it if you ask for it. I always was ahead of my time.
      Oh and about comparing life to others. All generations did that. Millennials are doing it in more scientific data driven way. I compare my life to others. Thanks to platform like Blind, which motivated me to push for more and get much more comp than I would accept without getting the data.
      I love the new world, where new generation would not take the 💩 from the system like the other generations did.
      I need a wifi bus to work, my free company lunch needs to be awesome and my coffee needs to have an awesome foam art.
      I ❤️ making my Avocado toast every day.
      Jan 24
    • Uber ZombieZoo
      No argument against "basic" needs. Everyone is entitled for a good cup of coffee. However stastemes like "I should be promoted because my teammate was" or "let's disclose all salaries and pay the same to everyone" are silly, childish and only show the lack of understanding of how capitalism works. California of course makes it even worse.
      Jan 24
    • Walmart.com ToKL28
      Well, salary ranges are more or less open due to blind. The idea of equality of outcomes is stupid, but not unique to this generation. It always was there and will be there. The only change is that millennials are more open to raise it.
      Jan 24
    • Splunk KE94107
      Salary ranges are “open” here in much the way the college dating scene was “open” on Monday mornings in engineering school. It always felt like everyone else was getting laid, just like it feels today like everyone else is getting (over-) paid.

      True?
      Jan 24
    • Uber CashIn
      Every 25 yr old wants to be a T6/L6/IC6 with 5yoe
      Jan 24
  • Facebook TioViejo
    Early 40s, 3 kids, have enough rental properties to retire whenever. I spend most of my time mentoring people. I have a deep abiding fear about our industry, each generation having a less full understanding of how actual systems work. (Probably inspired by too much Asimov). But in practice it motivates me to spend most of my time teaching younger people how things work and leveling them up. Anyway, if I didn't have this sense of guilt I would have already left the industry. But OTOH, I love it, it's fun. I still write code, not as much, but it's still solid. I'll just write a new tool or whatever from scratch once a year or so.
    Jan 23 8
    • Facebook TioViejo
      Yeah, as long as you make money you'll be able to hold no matter what happens with the price. Rents are far less volatile than asset prices. We had periods where some of our properties were under water, but instead of freak out, we bought more. Long term the rents ever so slowly went up asset prices too, so we refid and bought more, still sticking to our rules. Anyway, at this point I'm not going to relever. The 90% save rate is because our rental income covers nearly all of our expenses at this point. It kind of builds on itself. The biggest curve ball was when I basically stopped caring about my career, I started going straight up the ladder. Go figure. Now the struggle is keeping lifestyle inflation from going off track.
      Jan 23
    • Google / Eng
      Evenflow

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Northrop Grumman
      Evenflowmore
      I assume you use property managers? Do you prefer to hold sfh, condos, both? I'm very interested in this path as well, any books/resources you'd recommend for getting started?
      Jan 24
    • Amazon TylL45
      That’s a great story. I’m in a similar boat but with fewer properties. For those who are asking about real estate investing, read the book Remote Controlled Real Estate Riches by Adiel Gorel. That’s how I got started 15 yrs ago and still use the same approach. Don’t speculate on rising prices. Cash flow is the name of the game. Appreciation is a bonus if it happens. If it doesn’t happen you’re still making $.
      Jan 25
    • Google / Eng
      Evenflow

      Google Eng

      PRE
      Northrop Grumman
      Evenflowmore
      That book is like $100 used! Must be a good one but I don't want to pay to find out...
      Jan 25
    • Amazon TylL45
      Weird. I bought several copies over the years for like $15 each new on Amazon. Seems to have gone out of print with price shooting up as a result. I will call his office tomorrow and ask about it. The book is a gem of simplicity and takes the fear and mystery out of getting started, which Is why I recommended it.

      He seems to have a new book/DVD set but the only way to get it is by donating to PBS. Not sure why he is making it so complicated to get his books.

      As a substitute for now check out his website ICGRE.com. It is not as good as the book IMO but a good start if you’re new to the topic.

      PM me if you are serious about getting started in real estate and I will be happy to point you in some useful directions. I had a chance encounter with someone who recommend Gorel, and as a result of which I bought my first property, and I have had mentors along the way. I am always happy to pay it forward and share my experience and contacts to help other busy professionals get closer to financial independence by using real estate.
      Jan 25
  • Proofpoint AEas61
    I'm in my early 40's, 17 YOE and pretty happy as a Staff Engineer working 9-5. Me and wife bring in approx. 500K TC. Have a home and a rental property that should be paid off fully in about 5 years, just in time for first kid's college. 401K is 1.2M+, so on track for retirement.

    I'm glad not to have slaved away at work and spent time with kids, family and friends.
    Jan 23 4
    • Bleacher Report / Eng jwSX53
      How did you build your 401K up so quickly, I thought it was only possible to put in 18k each year? Is the difference all interest or company matching?
      Jan 23
    • Snapchat BigCoin
      The last decade had really good growth, and he prolly put it all in growth stocks
      Jan 23
    • eBay oenfnd
      I'm guessing the 401k is combined between the two spouses? My spouse and I are also early 40s with about $1.2M in retirement combined.
      Jan 23
    • New kahl20
      $18.5k is pre tax max. $55k is actual max if u do more after tax.
      Jan 23
  • SAP / Biz Dev
    lVgD43

    SAP Biz Dev

    BIO
    I climb the stairs every morning. The elevator is for Democrats!
    lVgD43more
    42, MS CS, two young kids, young wife. Took too long to figure it all out, but had fun doing it. European with multiple countries under my belt before ending up in the Bay Area.

    There’s something to be said about staying on track, showing up, showing respect, learning, supporting and uplifting others.

    There’s also something to be said about not outsourcing the care for your kids to strangers. If you can avoid it, don’t get that nanny. She’s not as “phenomenal” as your wife might describe her on Nextdoor.

    There’s also something to be said about not divorcing. The next one is likely not very different after the first fire has burned.

    And finally, there’s something to be said about living frugally and minimalist. Colleague of mine just hit 49 and is ready to retire from tech with two teenage kids. He wants to dedicate his time to volunteering for an org he’s already working at.

    Own your shit, fellas - and work hard not to become grumpy old men!

    TC 340
    Jan 23 3
    • Collective Health kavita
      Yessir thank you for your wisdom!
      Jan 24
    • Dell LUHV04
      We are dual income family , and we have to send our kid to day care.
      We don’t have other choice at this point.
      I see what you are saying and everyday when I drop my kid to daycare , I feel sad
      Feb 3
    • SAP / Biz Dev
      DaedalusSF

      SAP Biz Dev

      BIO
      I climb the stairs every morning. The elevator is for Democrats!
      DaedalusSFmore
      I did not want that to come across as judgmental.

      I made several mistakes with my first kid that took me a lot of time to identify as such, because ...well the effing bills had to be paid. Now we’ve downsized and focused ourselves on what’s really important to us, and that feels better. But I’m sure there’s plenty of opportunity to mess it up again when conditions change.

      I’m sorry you’re sad when you drop the kids off. Try not to escape that feeling, maybe there’s a solution on the other side. Best of luck!
      Feb 3
  • Google / Eng
    crashdump

    Google Eng

    BIO
    35 years in tech.
    crashdumpmore
    56 running a team at Google.

    Kids successfully launched after a couple of recalls for P0 issues

    Retirement beta tested in 40’s and reverted due to boredom and low customer satisfaction.

    Family health off track, external consultants evaluating.

    Current work team all born after I started in industry.

    <montyPython>When I was a newbie we had to hand code assembler and read the output as binary</montyPython>
    Jan 24 2
    • They still have assembly programming in colleges dont they?
      Jan 24
    • LinkedIn / Eng diagonal
      ⭐️can confirm we still learn assembly in undergrad
      Jan 25
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    metaldude

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    People, projects, pay, then place. In that order.
    metaldudemore
    Reaching 50 soon without much in the bank. Son going to college and I’m still bouncing from one company to another. Never bought a house to be debt free but now have no equity. It’s tough but somehow I’m happy. I wouldn’t mind dating again although my TC is not an aphrodisiac. I may not sound like a total winner but I did climb from being a homeless teen. I still believe I can be impactful in society with my talents at my age.
    Jan 24 2
    • LinkedIn / Eng diagonal
      That's such an inspiring story! For sure you still have a couple decades to make your mark!
      Jan 25
    • Amazon TylL45
      You’re 50 with no savings? Then start saving $ like a MADMAN NOW. Read mrmoneymustache.com and madfientist.com and similar sites. You will not want to have to work forever. Learn how to build up a stream of passive income and grow it over the next decade of your life.
      Jan 25