How has who picks the bill on first/second dates changed?
A recent conversation with a friend got me a bit surprised when he absolutely won't pay for his date; even if it's a cheap date like a tea/coffee.
Women - I wanna hear from you as well. So once polls are posted they can't be edited lol; wasn't intentional to Target polls only to the male humans
Update: thanks people of blind! Poll results gave me a decent picture.
How has who picks the bill on first/second dates changed?
If your friend doesn’t want to pay for coffee/tea/drinks, then all he has to do is get there first and not keep his tab open. It doesn’t look good though. A coffee is not that expensive.
He can also suggest a walk in the park or a museum, but you don’t have Central Park or The Highline over there so idk if it would work as well as it does for me in NYC.Sep 15 2
- So he accused me of "being interested in a man's purse" when I said I like it when man offer to pay, but I always pull out my card and won't mind splitting the bill. I also argued saying I make enough and really don't care; but if he doesn't pick my coffee/tea that's a moodkill.Sep 15 2
- Microsoft macrohard.If I like the guy on the first date I'll let him pay if he wants to. But I'll try to split if I don't like him coz I know I wouldn't want to go to a second date and I don't wanna owe him anything.
- New jobt777I am a woman I always pay 50% of the first-third dates maybe this is why I’m still single 😂. I think this is the way to go unless it’s a rare circumstance where your pays are dramatically different like dudes if your Tc is $280k and you ask a public school teacher or someone who serves in americorp on a date don’t be an asshole and expect to split
- I think some men think "let's split" as "I'm not feeling this and want to pay so you don't bad when I end the relationship in 2 days." You might get success by heading that feeling off before suggesting to split.
Some men also have an old school view but they're not looking to date the women on blind I'd thinkm
- Who pays first date, second date, third date, splitting is such an American culture. Nobody thinks about this in Europe or Latin America. Fucks sakes, go out, enjoy each other’s company. Be kind, be human. Even if it doesn’t work out, you met a new person who you’d have otherwise never met in your life out of the billions on Earth, be thankful for that experience. In my case, my date paid our first dinner and she insisted, 2 years later she’s now my fiancé.
- There should be no hard n fast rule. If a person really wants to pay without making it awkward for each other, excuse yourself and take care of the bill discreetly with the waiter when you go to the restroom.
Take the initiative, so that he/she will never forget it. She paid for our dinner discreetly, it was a thoughtful gesture that I’ve never experienced before with other dates and that’s why I will marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. In the end, kindness trumps everything - TC, beauty, brains, property whatever.
- New Ab44I thought we were living in a diversy feminist metoo-world where everything was supposed to be equal? How can any girl be against this with that logic?
- Agreed! Tho we live in a dating market and there are a number of factors at play.
— Engineer vs teacher salaries aren’t equal.
— Pink Tax on women focused product (sanitary napkins, birth control, etc.).
— Cost of being a woman is more than a man. Also, don’t you want your girl date to look hot? Makeup, cute clothes, and time to get ready takes time. Have you heard of the Drybar? Blowouts are $40+
To conclude. We don’t live in a equitable world. It’s nice when a man understands this and is chivalrous.
- Oh, please with the pink tax. It’s a free market!!
Men’s clothes are much more expensive than women’s everything else being equal.
The labor market is a free market too.
It’s not my fault some people are teachers.
I don’t date teachers because I care about survival just like everybody else looking to start a family.
Teachers don’t have my 10K+ a month expenses.Sep 16 2
- Please google “Pink Tax”. Paired with similar male items female items cost more. Research shows that females pay $1300 more per year on similar products. There are items that due to our body shapes we need special “women” sizes, like backpacks, helmets, shoe insoles, etc. (lol sometimes I buy little boys sizes to avoid the markup for “women” products, but sometimes it doesn’t work.) Plus, tampons & pads have a special taxes that condoms don’t have. Is this fair?
I’m not making this up. I wish I were.
Anyways, if any men out there doesn’t want to pay for a first date I could careless. Just want to inform you all about things that you might not see.
- A guy should pay for dates until “exclusive” because it gets confusing for us gals. I have plenty of guy friends who I split 50/50 on all the time.
Story time. I once payed 50/50 on a 3rd date and the guy was so offended that he suggested we be friends. So it’s quite confusing for me.
- Isn't it easier to maybe talk about this a few moments before going out? Maybe text or whatever, just to see what the other thinks? Personally it's a turn off to me when the other party is expecting me to pay. Whether I do it or not depends on my mood at the time and how worthwhile it was.
- Where's the option- I am a woman and I pay/offer to pay for the first date because I have been raised to be courteous (and a coffee at Starbucks ain't super expensive) and it would be nice if the man turned out to be courteous as well? Zero points for him if he doesn't offer to pay, one point if he offers to go dutch, 5 points if he pays the bill, 10 points if he offers to pick me up and then pays my bill. If he is at zero or one points after two dates, there's no third date.
- I'm a woman and it seems like most guys don't pay anymore. So the majority of my dates were split 50/50.
TBH I wish more guys would offer to pay. :( I always offer as well since I'm not there for a "free meal" or "free drink" but you know, it would be nice if they said, "Nah I can pay for you." sometimes.
- Split every time until we know we’re serious about being together. Don’t care about her TC vs mine either. It’s both of us investing time and effort, so it may as well be split evenly. Me making more or less money isn’t the reason we went out in the first place.
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