I have a two year old who is terrified of strangers. She is inconsolable when a stranger (even another child) approaches her. She cries till she throws up, covers her eyes, hides ... in such situations until we remove her from that place. This started two months ago. Before that she was somewhat shy but used to play with other kids. She is in home care, and I am positive nobody hurt her during this time (except for a very minor incident at the park where a 3 yo pushed her). We take her out every day. We have some good days when she interacts with some strangers (almost always women) and many bad days. She is otherwise a very happy healthy child - intelligent, talkative and loving. Her doctor doesn't seem to be too concerned. It's very distressing to see her suffer so much. When will this get better? What can I do to help her? Has anybody else experienced this? TC: 220
It's probably a phase. Mine went through something similar at 2 and will now (at 5) talk to literally anyone.
That's great to know. Was your kid always shy as a toddler or did this phase happen suddenly?
He was a personable baby, terrified of people from about 2-3, did great for a while, regressed for a few weeks when we moved at 4, and has become a social butterfly at 5. Your mileage will vary.
Send her to daycare (slowly), she is probably way too isolated. Inheriting a software engineer’s introvertedness, combined with isolation of home care doesn’t help. I would probably be scared of strangers if I spend enough time at home. If you don’t think that’s the reason, consulting with a child psychologist might help. Also heard of terrible twos but your kid’s situation seems to be isolated to a particular issue.
True. I have a spot in a daycare for summer. Nanny takes her to the park, takes her for a stroll almost every day. We do that in the evenings and weekends.
She stays home during the day? Or she is in a home based daycare? In my experience kids who stay at home are way more shy around strangers.
Time to strart socializing her, get her into a preschool or daycare situation a few days aweek, either other kids around, kids also go through a stranger danger phase, just usually a little earlier, they grow out of it
I plan to. Have a spot for summer. Looking at how she reacts right now around strangers, I can't even imagine how that would go 😥
Just make sure she is not training you, trust me it happens
Start with few days of daycare, gradually doing play dates with others from daycare. Also going out at common play area like park, fountains, etc can help. I have heard and seen kids love play area in Chic-Fill-A, might experiment that too. At very least be patient, and give kid love and time to get comfortable.
Thanks. We take her to the park almost every day. And yes, we make sure she feels loved no matter what.
I m sorry, if I came bad in giving kid love, what I meant was like if she/he does go near toddler, comfort her with high five, and just stand beside the other toddler with them. The high five has worked in so many scenarios for me.
Did you try library? They have good programs for toddlers...if you are not focusing on socializing and just having fun...may be she will automatically socialize
Not the library, no. We take her to the park or zoo. She loves the zoo, loves the swings (although recently she has started fearing llamas too haha).
Good idea, thanks
Let her grow. Don't worry but don't neglect either. Know the fine line between care vs overcare. If it were me I'd leave the kid with my relative for a few days to let the kid adapt to unfamiliar faces.
Thanks. I definitely would not leave her for days when she is this stressed out. I will try a few hours daycare per day like some folks have suggested.
I should mention that your actions now will decide if your kid becomes a a life of the party or a loner. So Choose wisely.
I heard it is normal at that age. I would not panic. Give her love but do expose her to this kind of stress. Don't always come rushing to help. All she ll learn is to cry louder and longer. Best if strangers have something she wants like food or toys
Thanks! Toys help somewhat but not much. It's a little better when we are in a place where she is distracted by other things (like a zoo), but even that doesn't work many times.