Sorry to hear that friend. I understand how you feel, it really sucks. I would recommend trying to get involved in activities where you will form healthy relationships. Not just romantic ones, but genuine platonic relationships with others.
For example, try volunteering on weekends or helping spread the knowledge you have. There are lots of organizations that could use your time and knowledge to help improve the world. And who knows, you may find a genuine connection through this.
The only way you will know is going out and giving it a shot. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.
I don’t know how you did that at Amazon. I’ve been going through the same thing. It shatters your self image. And doesn’t help when your co workers think you’re losing it. Keeping a straight face at work but then breaking down on the drive takes it’s toll. Only so much anyone can fake it. How did you work through it??
Well... I escaped my shitty marriage by pouring myself into work because it was the one thing I was good at. Post work I was busting ass at the gym, because while I didn't give a shit about him after all I went through, revenge body always feels good for yourself. So basically I wore myself out. Relied on having some friends I could vent to, even though they weren't local to visit all the time (we have a group chat on WhatsApp) Cried myself to sleep only the first couple of months. And eventually as I started to blossom and come out of my crusty shell, I found myself promoted, respected for the hustle, a power b**ch, and attractive again. From there I had the confidence to get out there and make friends and start dating. I met someone wonderful who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. He's not wrong, but I'm still cautious and taking it one day at a time.
PM me if you like, dear. One thing that was super important was having a sounding board of some friends who were able to give me some real talk when I had intrusive or self deprecating thoughts. It's all mental strength and sometimes you need someone to spot the bar as you're lifting ;)
A while back I started feeling down and getting tired of all the hatred and negativity I was seeing on the news/social media. I started doing random acts of kindness toward my coworkers when I used to work (compliments, birthday cards, etc.) it was well received and it made me feel good.
Volunteering is another great way to accomplish this stress lifting. If you aren't sure where to start, I recommend volunteering to help run a large event, like a local festival, because there is always a need and you get to move around a lot. There's always something to do. Always talk to the people you're doing these things with.
Two things which helped me and I strongly recommend to everyone, 1. Meditation: 15 mins daily is more than enough. It will help you calm your mind, drain out all negative feelings and will help you to realize your worth. 2. Helping others: The joy you will experience by helping others will redefine your character and will add positivity in your life.
Everything rewarding takes hard work. Like getting a job requires good education and studying.
Social/dating life also requires attention and care. It sounds like you want more out of yours, but perhaps are not making adequate effort to make it better. It doesn't get handed to you (unless you look like a model).
Take steps to improve your situation. Meetups, dating apps, self improvement etc.
OP, I cried at my desk one day, ran to a conference room and vowed not to let it get me again. That was a little over 2 years ago, and I started by seeking out mentors who I could rely on for work or personal advice, and opening up to them helped make me stronger *and* more able to develop friendships and better relationships at work. It acted like a flywheel. I now have work friends who are almost like family to me; I’ve been to their weddings, consoled them after a funeral. And this week, of all weeks, I got verbally sucker punched at work; I was angry, hurt, unable to sleep or work out and I couldn’t break out of it, so I reached out to them and I got the love and support I so desperately needed. I cried out of joy and gratitude when I got home from an evening with them.
It will take some time, but you’ll get there. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.
You build an internal company network just like you have an external one. The first “connection” you have is your manager, who is responsible for helping you grow. He/She has a vested interest in this and should be able to introduce you to some people to see if you click as mentor/mentee. Over time as you meet more people at work in other teams and groups, you will broaden your network.
It takes time, effort, and requires more than the average 12 month tenure at a company (for large ones like Salesforce and Amazon at least).
Same boat my friend. I have face to face human interaction maybe once a week for a few minutes on average. That’s including work. I could not be more isolated and increasingly don’t see a path leading out.