Health

Unable to be present. Any resources to help?

New vTvV46
Mar 10

I have always had a hard time being present and being in the moment. I spend more time within my own mind than I do being in the present.

For example, if I am with someone, my mind drifts away and I can literally feel the high activity of various thoughts being pursued.

I have to constantly (like every 5 minutes) remind myself: be present, go back to reality, and take a deep breath. I don’t forget about the person I am talking to and I’m great at pretending to be engaged in our conversation.

But in reality, I’m having our conversation inside my own mind with an imaginary version of you, in a totally different environment.

I’m extremely good at visualizing, to the point that I sometimes don’t know if my though was a though or a memory. I’m really good at drawing because my mind naturally visualizes and then I just fill in was I see on the paper.

There are certain events in my life that I truly can’t recall if they played out in my head or if it really was a moment that I was a part of.

I have no “real” problems and I don’t think that I feel stressed. It’s just that I want to stop living in my own head and experience reality, I guess.

Can anyone recommend audio books that help with techniques to silence the mind? (I can’t focus on reading books for same reasons).

Just want to mention that I am a highly effective person (in work and sports) and I’m very social too. I have tons of friends and I don’t think that anyone else notices it because I get invited all the time to 1-on-1 dinners and parties. People always say “you give the best advice!!” and stuff like that. So, I’m not socially awkward.

I’m only bringing this up now because I meet someone that I really like. A while ago she asked if she could record an interview with me, I agreed.

Later, she sent me the video and after watching it a few times I realized how much of her I am missing when my mind drifts away in its own visualizations.

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  • Salesforce zqwy71
    Try forcing yourself for 1 hour a day doing nothing . No phone . No tv . No distractions .
    Mar 112
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      I did this for a few months when I smoked weed. I slept like a baby.

      But the weed made me lazy and started affecting my training. So I don’t do it anymore.
      Mar 11
    • Salesforce zqwy71
      No weed ! Truly doing nothing . It’s hard and you’ll be bored to death . Then it’s gonna get interesting.
      Mar 11
  • New tCot26
    Meditation may help you > try Calm app 7 days of calm for free.
    You have be anxious and flooded w hormones that prevent focus. Your brain goes into FOF. Not unusual.
    Have you ever thot about talk therapy?
    Mar 105
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      I have never talked in therapy. And I was in an extremely stressed state during a large portion of 2018. But I am financially very stable so I decided to resign and I have only been working on private projects for the past 8 months.

      I have always been like this but it has increased greatly the past months.

      What is FOF? I tried to search but I don’t think I found what you’re suggesting.
      Mar 10
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      I’m thinking about trying therapy though... I was hoping to see if some resources could help first.
      Mar 10
    • Pandora 1904.1
      “Fight or Flight”

      Good luck OP I am the same
      Mar 10
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      Oh, that makes sense. I have definitely been feeling a “flight” feeling. There are so many situations lately that I want to “flight” from and often I flight into my own head.

      Which is weird considering that I have been a fighter on semi-pro level half my life without any problems 🙄
      Mar 10
    • Intel UGeJ58
      You currently have a state of mental illness. It has nothing to do with your skills and ability
      Mar 11
  • Salesforce Belgium
    Try to indulge in a creative hobby. Write your own short stories, learn to play an instrument and create your own tunes, learn animation. Try to get a creative outlet for your if and see if helps.
    Mar 111
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      That’s actually a good idea. I’m really good at drawing and painting but I haven’t done it in years now... Except when I took a girl on painting & beer event for a first date :D
      Mar 11
  • Microsoft / HRa**
    I am almost the same shit you just described and I was diagnosed as an ADHD.
    Mar 113
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      I suspected something like this several times in my life but never wanted to have it checked out. Mostly because I don’t like the medication that is subscribed.

      And if I wouldn’t take the meds then I don’t know what the point of having it checked out would be.
      Mar 11
    • Microsoft / HRa**
      Meds help only if you have trouble doing your job and other duties. I wouldn't take if I was able to function well at work without them. There are some undesirable side effects and a risk of physical and psychological dependency.
      Mar 11
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      I just posted in comments bellow how I deal with sleep / work most often. It has worked well for me...
      Mar 11
  • New vTvV46
    OP
    I should say that one of the few things that can keep my thoughts in place is listening to binaural sounds:
    https://youtu.be/HePF0xlKzNE

    In every beat my mind kind of resets and I avoid being distracted.

    When I work I listed to this:
    https://youtu.be/MCfL7EBhBS8

    I use noice canceling headphones, Bose Q35-2. Since I got them I’ve been able to focus much better.

    But I can’t wear them on a date :D
    Mar 110
  • Lyft 0xabc0de
    You are probably just an intp type
    Mar 102
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      Thanks! I’ll look into this! I don’t know any thing of personality types.
      Mar 10
    • Pinger / Engcreate💻
      It's not the most scientific thing though
      Mar 11
  • Please watch West World
    Mar 110
  • Google
    Yech

    Google

    PRE
    Amazon
    Yechmore
    Work out can help
    Mar 101
    • New vTvV46
      OP
      I work out 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day.

      Fighting (sparring) and programming are two few things that makes my mind focus on the present.
      Mar 10

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