Unrealistic Ambitions
I am L4 eng with 3 yoe and 29 years of age ( started working late). But some day I want to be a director of engineering or a CTO. I am below average at coding ( not sure how I cleared Uber interview in 2016 when hiring bar was high ) compared to my team mates who seem to know everything. I see other people who are good at something. I am not a good speaker or have people skills or particularly good at architecture or any other talent for that matter. I used to think hard work is the key to success but I cannot work 24/7 to overcome my weaknesses. I feel I will never achieve my ambitions, this gets me depressed and suicidal. What happens to an average engineer in this field? Or should I lower my aim to fit my skills and just live out an average life .... š TC: 250K
if you can consistently focus on deliberate improvement in one particular niche for 20+ hours/week many years in a row, you will almost certainly reach the top xļ¼ in that area by age 40 - the hard part is choosing something to focus on and sticking to it
Not everyone can or has to make it to the top. Some people stay as analyst or developers, a medium percentage go to manager roles, from there even smaller to the top. Think of it like a funnel going up. I would suggest finding something outside work you enjoy
Yeah but that's the thing. I want to be somebody, leave a legacy, but when I see current Uber management, leaders, senior engineers I feel so fucking stupid and useless
If you work with top ppl you will rarely be the star, if you want to be the star or at the top go somewhere less competitive. Iām not saying you canāt get there but it takes time too. You are 29 with 3 years exp. Chill. You have lots to learn and plenty of time.
Also you are making $250k, delete the blind app and go work out or do something besides work. Most ppl would kill to be in your shoes
So you can launch your own company and pick whatever title you want. You can be both CTO and director of engineering at the same time! Titles don't mean much, figure out what kind of work you want to be doing later and start paddling in that direction.
I don't know anything about engineering fields and jobs but I do know one thing about life. I know that when it comes to achieving goals and having Ambitions it's important to realize your strengths and weaknesses which is what you have done which is really good now I think that in order to achieve your Ambitions you just have to be smart about where you position yourself in terms of your strengths and weaknesses if you're not good at coding then do something that you know you did at and if you don't know what you are good at and start exploring until you find something that might seem a bit late considering the fact that you've already decided to be an engineer but maybe there are other aspects of an engineer that you could be
This made me wince. Average? Really? First of all, youāre profoundly above āaverageā This app is above average Next, letās dissect your weird judgements and shit on yourself, Stop getting so down... Youāre fucking amazing in the grande scheme of things. Youāre in the driversā seat of humanity. Stop trying to align yourself to some abstract bullshit dick measuring contest you call āworkā and have a real goal. Thereās a reason you go to work every day and solve problems. Do it and have conviction behind your decisions. Or start your own thing.
It's all about right positioning to differtiate yourself. Don't think that your colleagues who "know everything" are going to reach to the top.
I'm smelling impostor syndrome. You didn't accidentally get to where you are. Uber would have fired you.
I got lucky with good managers
Keep persevering and doing your best and things will definitely start to converge. And optimize for happiness. F legacy.
Why canāt you improve?
I can try, but time is limited I don't have more than 24 hrs in a day
stop trying to do everything, or else face mediocrity