What do you want from me?

Synopsys mockingbrd
Mar 14 42 Comments

Like always, Wife gets angry, Says extreme things like unhappy in marriage and all, argues with mother in law (culprit according to wife) and then after 3 days of awkward silence in the house asks "what do you want from me?"

TC: Married for 3 years, no kids.

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 42 Comments
  • Microsoft / Engsudо
    Don't reply negatively to this question. The expected answer from you is " nothing" and it will fire up the passive aggressive reaction.
    Instead reply honestly. For example if I was in such situation, I'd reply something like: " I'm unhappy we wasted three days of our life on this, and wish we could deal with it faster. From you I just need a bit of patience and time to wrap this up, so we can move on and do something fun".
    Mar 142
    • Synopsys mockingbrd
      OP
      Nice. Let me try this.
      Mar 14
    • Microsoft
      MP3

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Troll living under the I-5 overpass
      MP3more
      With posts like this Blind has hope
      Mar 14
  • Uber bobaboi
    What do you want?
    Mar 143
    • Synopsys mockingbrd
      OP
      Eternal peace and happiness. That's too much I guess.
      Mar 14
    • Uber bobaboi
      It’s not too much. You’re empowered to make your own decision. The thing is no one here knows the situation enough to even comment on it but I assume you only wanted to vent it out
      Mar 14
    • Amazon Am A Bot
      Definitely not too much to ask. I have a peaceful house at least when the kids aren’t fighting/bickering. But the grownups in our house (includes her mom)? No one has even raised their voice in 2.5 years, let alone had a fight. Even our disagreements are gently talked out and brought to a full conclusion within a few days or weeks.

      Remember; it takes 2 to fight. PM me if you want to chat more.
      Mar 15
  • Microsoft
    tech.ladki

    Microsoft

    PRE
    Google
    tech.ladkimore
    Have you guys heard of divorce?
    And if bet my money that OP is Indian. Indian culture is quite shallow and such issues are common
    Mar 1416
    • Adobe xbid57
      I agree it doesn't necessarily lead to a deep relationship, but it does indicate an effort put in towards the same...and the absence of that effort is what some people would call shallowness
      Mar 15
    • Microsoft
      tech.ladki

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Google
      tech.ladkimore
      @tensorchic, @"genius"1
      While there are many Indians who care for personality traits of significant others, there are at least as many who choose their SO primarily based on lineage, Ethnicity, financial status, even educational degree like having an MBA instead of another graduate degree. Open any Indian matrimony, and you'll see this prevalent even among financially independent middle-classes.
      So why this so hard to accept the superficialness here? Too insecure to accept the flaws of our culture?
      And most such marriage issues come from Indian Blind users.
      Mar 15
    • Microsoft
      tech.ladki

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Google
      tech.ladkimore
      And sure, to be fair, there are hardly any Indian American dead beat dad's who have had a dozen kids with a dozen women and defaulting then on child support. And this almost certainly holds true even if adjusted for income. So yeah , to be fair there's that too.
      Mar 15
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      It's there in every single culture. Few have the luxury to pick partners based on criteria you'll call deep. Most people pick partners based on what's available and fulfilling a need, either sexual or financial or emotional or loneliness or just having spent too much time or whatever. I'm not saying it doesn't look superficial, just that, this is not specific to India- it's every.single.culture.
      Match and OKC have facilities for income and race filtration. There's studies been done to prove racial preferences in both men and women. Humans are the same everywhere.
      Mar 15
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      And I'm not married. been on both arrange marriage and online dating market and it's not significantly different in superficiality.
      Mar 15
    • Microsoft
      tech.ladki

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Google
      tech.ladkimore
      Where do you think there would be more people per capita who 1- breakup with significant other purely for ethnic reasons 2- not be open to to date outside ethnic background 3- care about parents job etc?
      And that there need to be two different markets --arrange and online dating while both are basically finding a match online is concerning to me.
      Mar 15
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      America isn't just the tech bubble of Caucasian people you see at Microsoft and Google. Go to the inside or in the political circles or wealth circles and you'll see very similar bigotry. You are comparing the average Indian with a blue state bleeding liberal American. Bad comparison.
      Mar 15
    • Microsoft
      tech.ladki

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Google
      tech.ladkimore
      Fair enough, but I have Caucasian friends in Missouri and Alabama. On average, less than California. But also much more than average urban India. Of course that's my perception, but I'd be surprised if your unbiased perception is really different
      Wealth circles, yes, I'm aware of th bigotry, but is it as much as the wealth circles in India?
      Mar 15
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      They are slightly better than us, sure. The correlation is however economic and religious and less to do with race.
      You'll be surprised. Came across some subreddits and recounts from people on wall Street and there is a huge pressure on kids to date within tax bracket. The pressure is subtle over here. Unlike in India where they will openly oppose.
      Mar 15
    • VMware genius1
      superficiality has nothing to do with culture. it is an individual trait and not the trait of the whole country. those preferences you see on matrimonials are proxies for personality traits which reflects on relationships to some degree and they are safer bet. everyone is superficial to some degree otherwise there would be no homeless people and everybody would be in love. in a country of billion people one can afford to set baseline requirements to conform to their lifestyle and choose to fall in love among that specific pool of candidates. if caucasians are not so superficial according to you , why do you see dating apps like christianmingle , jdate and filters on every dating app based on age , education, career, salary. everyone is superficial to some degree and it’s okay. stop blaming it on the culture.
      Mar 15
  • Microsoft Harc62
    Why is your wife getting angry?
    Mar 146
    • Synopsys mockingbrd
      OP
      Lack of love and friendliness from Mother in law...🙈
      Mar 14
    • Atlassian euphoria13
      Might I recommend r/justnomil -- sometimes it is hard to see how our parents treat our SOs because we are so accustom to their behavior.
      Mar 14
    • Microsoft
      tech.ladki

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Google
      tech.ladkimore
      Why is it needed? Why can't you deal with your mother as much as possible, and she deals with hers!
      Mar 14
    • Microsoft Harc62
      Don’t fucking 🙈 me. Deal with your nightmare of a mom. Stand up for your wife.
      Mar 15
    • Adobe xbid57
      A nightmare if she doesn't show love and friendliness...overbearing and interfering if she does...OP you can't win here really, no matter how much well-intentioned advice you get...sorry bro
      Mar 15
    • Uber smartride
      Well who need love and friendliness with MIL 😂😂
      Mar 15
  • New sparked
    Do you guys actually address your issues or just passively aggressively deal with each other for weeks at a time until it leads to a full on shouting match over why there are dishes in the sink?
    Mar 141
    • Intel superrr
      We don't wait for weeks to shoot at each other.... We do it right away... Within the first how or so we start fighting 🤣
      Mar 14
  • Google
    tsukino

    Google

    BIO
    w
    tsukinomore
    Have you thought about why she's unhappy?
    Mar 140
  • New / MgmtVSwf01
    Tell her exactly what you want. Don't give some vague bullshit answer like eternal happiness. Give action oriented answers. She's looking for leadership and you're not stepping up. 3 days off silence? You're not in high school, you won't ignore your manager at work for 3 days so why do that at home? You seriously need to look inwards, you're a big part of the problem.
    Mar 140
  • Flagged by the community.

  • Spotify iwik71
    I love my mother in law (I am a woman) but if I saw her too often I wouldn’t. Decide your wife is put before your mother if you want a happy marriage. Mother in law needs to come into the picture less.
    Mar 151
    • Amazon Am A Bot
      +1000. My mother in law lives with us and she advocates for this too. She says kids come first, spouse comes second, parents then in-laws.

      I’m a guy and am grateful that my MIL is so enlightened. But then again, maybe it’s come about because we have to live together...
      Mar 16
  • Cisco / QACyberDemon
    i got 99 problems but a beach ain't one.
    Mar 150
  • Illumina
    deathspire

    Illumina

    PRE
    Illumina
    deathspiremore
    She’s setting herself up to divorce you and take as much as she can.
    Mar 140
  • Synopsys mockingbrd
    OP
    Btw, everything back to normal...untill next time...😏
    Mar 160
  • Amazon it’s h
    1. Move out of your parents.
    2. Talk and explain what do your think and how do you feel about the situation openly. Listen and understand her thoughts. It becomes easier to act properly after that.
    3: If you cannot find consensus, let her decide if she wants to be with you. If she doesn’t, you can still decide to come together later or find people that can make you happier than you are now.
    Mar 150

Join verified employees in our anonymous social network!Download the app!

close