I was at a bar with friends and my friend commented on why he puts “maybe someday” for whether or not he wants kids on his dating profile. “My thinking is that, when I’m ready, then I can find someone who is also ready to have kids in the future.” - Male Friend # 1 “Ah! That makes sense, since even when you’re 40, you can always find younger women.” - Me “Women aren’t interchangeable objects you ass hole. It really saddens me to know that this is how you think about women.” - Female Friend Can someone please explain to me on how my comment is offensive? I just want to understand why, so it doesnt happen again. Also, possible suggestions on the best steps to apologize. Note: Please keep your personal insults directed at me to a minimum. I’m not as woke as everyone else here, so I’m asking for help.
Easy - your friend is an over sensitive female d-bag.
Eggjhactly! 😜
Or, OP, ageist, and a tad naive (or ignorant, or both).
You honestly don’t know? 🙄
No, I really don’t. I asked on Blind because I wanted an answer from the smartest people around (which is usually the people on Blind).
Anything that makes them feel objectified, you’re going to have a bad time.
Because women hate truth in general. There's nothing we can do about it.
Ask her how many times she got dumped!Human beings build ideas based on their past experience. So she might feel that way, it is true for her so she says it.
It’s likely a scenario. I’d that she might heard or interpret that “When I am ready, I can [leave and] find another one.” This sounds like he can just leave a relationship when he feels like getting a kid. At the end of the day if two adults agreed upfront about expectations, sure, he can leave. Hopefully he meant to have that consent Upfront.
Why did you say “since even when you are 40”?
40 just seemed like a good age to have kids to me.
He said that to the male friend. The female friend had nothing to do with it.
Must. Have. Young. Woman. Need. Procreation.
She has a crush on your male friend but doesn't want kids
I’d say flip the genders in your statement and tell me if you’d still agree with it. If you don’t, why not? I would say the comment is more arrogant than offensive. Who says your friend will still be desirable to younger women after 40? :)
There’s more to human relationships than breeding potential. As intelligent beings with complex emotions, we can afford to expect to be treated as more than opportunities to to preserve our genetic material.
Leaving someone solely because you’ve found someone younger would be an incredibly cruel thing to do and your statement made it sound like you see that as your optimal strategy. It’s demeaning to talk of people as if they’re nothing more than potential mates, we might be animals but we aren’t that primitive.
Thank you for taking the time to write such an eloquent comment. I understand this!
Why not ask your female friend?