rushing in for marriage

Expedia Group wlight123
Oct 3 46 Comments

i am doing everything to keep my family together and i dont know what to do. my dad has been an abusive husband to my mom, physically in past and emotionally at present. my mom is a housewife who raised us, me and my sis up with love and care and be everything my dad is not. i grew up without any bad habits like smoking or drinking or anything. i found escape in books and movies and food. i am now 28yrs old and have everything to support my family but i am not healthy. i want to get fit before getting married but both my parents in india are trying to force me to marry this year. i dont want to be a laughing stock in my marriage and i want my time to build up the confidence. anytime i try to convince my parents to wait longer my mom cries for leaving her alone and my dad makes everyones life miserable. i dont know what to do to convince them 😭

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TOP 46 Comments
  • Facebook ⭕w⭕
    Never, ever, ever rush to marriage because of family pressure. Guess what's going to happen if you do? They'll start demanding a grandchild, also a major life choice that should be up to YOU, not them.
    Oct 3 0
  • Arista Networks pidof
    Hopefully not an arranged marriage lol. A lot of my family had those and none of them worked out (including my parents). Do yourself a favor and find someone you actually know and are compatible with.
    Oct 3 1
    • Uber
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      You would be right to think so. Marriages are hard. Every type of marriage is hard. Divorces are rampant. Failed marriages without divorces, even more so. Most of these partners stop rooting for each other.
      Oct 3
  • Marriage is a irrevocable lifetime commitment, not a milestone. You've got to do it when you know its right, it may come tomorrow at the gym it may come in 10 years, and it may never come which is perfectly fine too. March to the beat of your own drum. On the getting fit side your heads not in the marriage game if your priority is self improvement again totally fine. On keeping your family together, at the end of the day what will be will, and what wont be wont , you arent going to perform some heroic gesture to turn back time where everything is peachy. They've got to work on it themselves, that doesnt mean you cant be a good person to them but you've got the opportunity to build your own brady bunch when the time is right. Dont settle.
    Oct 3 2
    • Cisco OUvR72
      Agree!
      I am in a same boat as OP but no problems/issues from family perspective. Marriage can not be milestone. Sometime you think it as milestone because people surrounds you asks you questions especially indian and if you are from india(I am an Indian) that ...when are you getting marriage? now its your turn? ...There is no fucking answer to this useless question!! keep in mind.
      Oct 3
    • Yeah don't sweat it, go with the flow. Cause if they didn't have marriage to pester you about itll be when are the kids coming, if you knock out the kids, when are you going to buy a bigger house, get the bigger house they'll be in the retirement home asking you why you haven't visited them more. Legitimately life is quick, don't let others map yours out. Full disclosure I'm married 2 kids , and i promise you there is no way in hell we'd last if we weren't made for each other. Being married to the wrong person has to be worse than being locked up.
      Oct 3
  • ByteDance teektook
    Sorry to hear that. Buckle up. Be a sounding board to mom and convince her that things will be alright....there is no harm in checking out girls if they have someone in mind. Perhaps that will push u further to build ur personality.
    Oct 3 2
    • Expedia Group wlight123
      OP
      Thanks
      Oct 3
    • Apple karmaVibes
      Op that’s a slippery slope. Don’t check out those girls unless you are ready for arranged marriage. Countless numbers of friends have fallen prey to that predatory tactic and ended up getting married to some unknown girl and before they knew it they had kids.
      Oct 3
  • Salesforce dgk7488
    Tell them you are founding your own startup and will marry someone from here who makes more money than you. Then they'll stop
    Oct 4 2
  • Uber
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    If you’re a guy, 28 isn’t too late. You got at least two years until you should feel the pressure.
    Oct 3 5
    • Qualcomm / Eng dynasty001
      What if i am a girl ?
      Oct 3
    • Uber
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      Lose weight. Smile a lot. Listen to romantic songs. Go to social events. Try matrimony sites. You will find a guy you might like in less than a year. Getting him to settle down might be the biggest challenge.
      Oct 3
    • Qualcomm / Eng dynasty001
      Listen to romantic songs ? How does that help ?
      Oct 3
    • Uber
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      Ah. You are not a girl? Wasted advice.
      Oct 3
    • Qualcomm / Eng dynasty001
      Not wasted. It may help someone who is reading this post
      Oct 3
  • Verizon / Eng chodes#
    How’s the needful treating you?
    Oct 3 1
    • Google hooli.xyz
      Still waiting to revert for the same.
      Oct 3
  • eBay / Eng Kilo77
    Have you started working out yet?! If not, you'll never do it.
    Oct 3 1
    • Expedia Group wlight123
      OP
      Yeah i go to gym everyday. Fixed my diet too. Its just too much to do and to little time. With everything in life i just thought let me take care of everything one at a time. Being financially independent and getting promoted and supporting my sisters higher studies and saving enough. I got all of that done. I kept health for the last and now its long way to go to achieve that
      Oct 3
  • New MrMyme
    Assuming you are on visa, I would suggest tell them that you have some visa issues and cant come to Your country this year and would come next year and manager when you dint find strong reasons😂😂
    Oct 3 0
  • Apple
    Niagra

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    Apple
    Niagramore
    Thank you for sharing. Take your time, get fit physically and (if needed) emotionally, learn about yourself. You can get married 10 years later and you’ll be fine
    Oct 3 0
  • eBay / Eng Kilo77
    For Indians (tiny penis and all..), marriage is generally the only way to get laid on regular basis. Why resist that?
    Oct 3 5
    • Oracle hey1
      Wives don’t let that happen after marriage
      Oct 3
    • New MrMyme
      @oracle what do you mean by that?
      Oct 3
    • Oracle hey1
      Indian wives have zero libido
      Oct 3
    • New MrMyme
      Why dont you increase the libido 😂😂
      Oct 3
    • AMD
      $&!#

      AMD

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      Intel Corporation
      $&!#more
      😂
      Oct 5
  • Google bc89
    Why not politely tell them you are your own person and will get married when the time is right for you?
    Oct 3 1
    • Microsoft / Design usbbussub
      Bc OP isn’t an American. Very different cultures.
      Oct 3
  • Amazon / Eng mulla
    Look at all the majority of successful people. You gotta do at least two marriages to be in top 1%
    Oct 9 0
  • TripAdvisor owlwise
    Don't give in. Sounds harsh but indian parents need to learn to stop living through their kids. Remind yourself that you are your OWN person.
    Oct 3 0
  • Throw a screen reader tool on close your eyes and listen to this scenario. You wake up in the same exact marriage your parents have. The end. Which was worse peer pressure or spending every day in the afformentioned life. Get married when your ready.
    Oct 3 2
    • Uber
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      https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

      “... However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher...”
      Oct 3
    • Why even take the leap in the first place if you'd even entertain the stat. Stick to tinder.
      Oct 3
  • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
    Obey the parents for they are your creators
    Oct 3 1
    • TripAdvisor owlwise
      But not his owners.
      Oct 3
  • AMD
    $&!#

    AMD

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    Intel Corporation
    $&!#more
    Well you live in America now, so just say no. It’s THAT easy!
    Oct 5 0
  • T-Mobile Friday due
    Show up at a local CrossFit everyday. The only thing on your mind will be how the workout is going to kill you the next day.
    Oct 3 0
  • Amazon / Eng takeiteazy
    Dude, live your life. Their marriage failed, so they aren’t in any position to give you any advices on this account.
    Oct 3 0
  • LinkedIn rabbithole
    Dude get a trainer. Worth it. Getting in a decent shape isn’t too hard if you have discipline. Also focus on diet.
    Oct 3 0

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