[India] Marriages
This is mostly a rant. Lately, my fam has started asking me to create profiles on shaadi.com and similar apps. While I am not against the idea of arrange marriage, I am just not too enthusiastic about it. The whole process seems too mechanical. It's like you are getting married because it's a check box in life not because you have found a loving partner that you can spend your life with. And yet, a lot of people in my circle have gone through the process. Is it possible to actually find someone compatible through this process specially in India where people are mostly regressive even the educated ones ? Reading some of the posts here, arrange marriages seem like a business transaction in India. Edit: Keep it civil. Don't want to deal with trolls today
In Same boat pal, there is very little chance maybe 10% that we will be marrying someone with their consent and lot of time you will end up marrying someone’s girlfriend because you know their parents won’t allow them to marry love of their life because the family won’t allow it or the guy or girl they don’t find suitable for family etc. India is in very weird shape right now, the young generation is living western life but parents won’t leave their age old thinking, hopefully next generation it will not be case and both parents and young adults will follow same mindset.
What makes you think shaadi.com is same as arranged marriage? Its infact opposite of it. You are picking guys who you like not your parents. Its just another dating app where people are serious abt intention of getting married unlike others where intention is having sexi time or short term companionship. But true profiles on shaadi are not flirty so it sounds bland.
I get that but it still seems mechanical. It's like interviewing for a job posting.
It's no different from dating websites in a way. Even dating websites is like arranged marriage, not exactly like falling in love. Like shaddi.com, parents might do initial screening but it's the children who talk and mostly decide nowadays. Falling in love is more like you meet someone with no intention of marrying them but slowly develop an attachment towards each other. When you meet someone through dating app, the intention is clear. Either you are looking for a potential partner or just casual fun.
Marriage is a transaction. No matter how it came to be. You like someone and you live with them but you have to get the government involved and have a legal contract saying you'll give each other some benefits which are more skewed in the favor of females. Marriage was never not a contract. It's like a life sentence but you can get out early on bad behavior, as opposed to real world prison. You like someone for something they can provide and they like you for something you can provide. This is barter system. Exchange of services..... Which is..... Drumroll.... A transaction. If you are the best, you get better options to choose from, so you pick what's best for you. Romanticizing this is meaningless and more fake, but it sells the dream to teenagers and youngsters and keeps the nation functioning. That's why they give you tax incentives to encourage it. Otherwise we can all keep changing partners or living in with people to save money while having sex. If you don't want all the unnecessary drama, you can just pay for it like a different transaction. That is the real world. Movie fantasy is force fed. You want children to be raised in proper households so that they don't turn out into serial killers but there are more people stuck in unhappy marriages and create abusive dysfunctional households that kids get traumatized and screwed up anyway. People have kids to save their marriage because divorce means losing half your shit. So now you want someone who makes as much as you so that you are both busy, can handle finances and can get a prenup.
Very logical perspective. Shouldn't have seen all those stupid rom coms
Similar situation, but I'm a Male, 26. I have strictly informed at home not to discuss about marriage until I'm ready. It scares me at times, what if that person from arrange marriage is not compatible? I wish dating in India was more normal and Marriage is left to individuals vs family/peer pressure
Yup, it scares me too sometimes
😩💦
Same situation. I have kinda accepted it. Because if some i were to fall in love it wouldve happen till now. I was in a relationship in 3 years ago , didnt work out. Even if you date someone for 3 months and decide this is the person you want to spend my life with. Its highly likely that it is arranged marriage, just arrange by you on a dating app. And as someone mentioned love is a bit overrated. Check out this talk https://youtu.be/d6wG_sAdP0U
I hope I can reach your level one day and accept the situation
TC or ?
This is another dimension of problems 😂
Your age OP
25 but that's not the point
OP, I can understand. I'm guessing you are girl so it'll be little hard for u take ur stand when it comes to marriage but stick to it. In current situation, you never know how arranged marriage gonna pan out. You being in MS, chill out make frnds, you'll find the right one ..