30 & dumb, what to do next?
Stuck as an SDE-2 with no promo in sight. Don't think I deserve it either. Teammates don't like me. Depressing work environment atleast for me. I've managed to get decent ratings somehow (a little bit of politics), but I don't think I'm a good engineer. I don't feel like working, knowing that my career has / will hit a plateau. I've been contemplating what to do next, here are a few options. 1. Join a mediocre company (like Ebay or etc) to get better and rejoin top tier companies later. But I'm not sure if it makes sense to go backwards in career? I also fear being judged by family & friends. 2. Change roles (to a PM or etc) - But I'm not so sure if I'll be good in these roles. I'm not charismatic at the very least. 3. Quit tech & Move back to India - I think this is my preferred option, will probably do something outside of tech. I understand it's not easy though. Wife also doesn't want to move back to India (she has a good career here) and wants me to continue having a job. I understand her. Please help, will appreciate other suggestions in comments! I am okay with trolls as long as there are some useful suggestions. Approx TC - ~300K
I will not help you unless you add your TC.
Added. Private company TC is too ridiculous to rely on though. Now help 😛
look for a new role that moves you up a level. If you are depressed maybe you need a sabbatical and therapy first though.
quit and let me have ur job
You will never get peace here. Tech is cut throat and PM work needs personality in big tech to be successful. You can either stay here and suffer or find peace and happiness at home in India
Since when is personality a metric for PMs?
Always has been
Sounds like you should be a SysAdmin/SRE/Ops person instead. They’re generally engineers that everyone hates, and they don’t prefer to write code. Do the job right and you’ll still make decent money. Given your current skills and experience you’d also get promoted fairly easily.
Yep, decent option
You are just being hard on yourself. You managed to make that TC and didn't get PIPed so you are not dumb. You are just bored, so switch to a different group or switch company to learn new skills. You shouldn't be afraid of being judged by others because they are not in your shoes. Also, if the TC is higher and your learn new skills at the new place, why do you have to be ashamed? Going back to India is more challenging as your wife doesn't want to do that, and won't you be judged by others by that decision as well?
you make 100x more than ppl in developing countries
There have to have been times where you have enjoyed software engineering. What were those times? How can you find a role where you can maximize focus on those areas? It sounds to me like you just need to reroll a different role. It can be at a different company, especially if you identify your current company as a source of your stress.
I truly enjoy software engineering. I'm just not good at it. Reroll a different role meaning are you saying "not software engineering"? Or software engineer at a different team / company?
What I mean by reroll a different area is find a niche within software engineering that excites you. Being a generalist is fine if you don't mind it, but if you are finding it stressful, chances are you need to focus more on the areas that excite you. If you really enjoy something, you won't suck at it unless you're mentally deficient... which you clearly are not judging by your articulation. The inverse is actually true too - you will not enjoy something you suck at, so if you suck at software engineering then you're probably lying to yourself - and that in itself is another problem that needs to be addressed because you won't get anywhere you need to in that state. Given the information you've provided though, I think you should just focus on finding another software engineering job. It might work out it might not, but just because you don't know where to go doesn't mean you stay in the frying pan. Some context why I think this way - I've been in roles that I've sucked at, and roles that I haven't. I've been the hero, and the weakest member in different times in my career... happens. The only thing I've found that works when I'm not doing well is to find another opportunity.
Why do you think it’s you and not stripes cut throat culture?
That's a possibility, hence 1 thought is joining a company with a not so cut throat culture. However, I did gave in everything I had but nothing improved in a year. So I am unsure if I'm really fit for being a software engineer.