Long story short: getting divorced after 12 years of marriage in CA. That means the court cannot set an end date for the alimony and I am the payer. In short I am screwed as the soon to be ex-wife already made it clear she will not seek for better employment. Court date is in 2 weeks. In CA by default there are two terminating conditions: death of either party and remarriage of the supported party (very unlikely). I am looking for reasonable ideas that can be used as additional conditions to terminate my alimony payments to the opposite party such as: - cohabitation of any kind - making enough money to become self supportive Any ideas/experience in this?
You need a lawyer, not strangers on Blind
I have one. I am just collecting more ideas. Divorce lawyers’ interests are misaligned with yours anyway. They are interested in keeping the case going as long as possible.
You negotiate a settlement. Good luck.
Can you move to another country?
I have joint custody on my kids. I will not leave them, so I cannot.
Just cancel the divorce. Otherwise you all will suffer. Life is short. If you don’t like each other at least stay next to each other for kids. Slowly things will settle. Don’t make things complicated
There was just a post in Blind today from a 30 year old guy who was saying how miserable his life has been because of his incompatible parents who are still together. Divorce is hard, alimony sucks but it will keep all the people in that family out of misery in the long run.
How much alimony are you expecting to pay?
With child support it roughly half of my TC. Yes, half.
Is it tax deductible or if your TC is 400k, you end up paying 200k in taxes and then 100k in alimony leaving you with effectively 25% of your TC?
RIP you
Thanks for the encouragement.
So what changed after 12 years of marriage? In retrospect should you have divorced after 9?
On the cohabitation part, how can you even figure out? They would be stupid to tell you anything at all.
Private investigator.
Upvoted for the californication reference
Can't you reduce your TC or encourage her to up her TC so the payment will come down.
That’s what I am thinking. That will screw me financially too in the short term. But long term it might work.
Why are you getting divorced?