My girlfriend whom I'm this close to finally marrying, has actions which are pissing me off. She's meeting an old friend from office who is visiting for a week in the city. I asked her to meet him during the office time and in an office setting, as she has no business to go out with him in night while I will be at home on a Friday night. She's spending her Friday afternoon getting her eyebrows done, taking long showers and all that stuff, like she's planning a big date night. I clearly asked her to meet him in office time as they both are in same company and can arrange to meet inside office. While we had a big argument last night, I woke up and told her that it's okay to meet him the way she wants - the first thing in the morning. Am I overthinking and wrong here to be pissed? #dating #marriage #relationships

Am I overthinking?

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VMware avgdawg87 Apr 26

You’re not overthinking brother….run 🏃

Amazon colgat3 Apr 27

If you ignore this, you'll regret this for the rest of your life. It's like a runaway train don't get in the way, step aside and watch it crash and burn.

NVIDIA ngleuwpqnd Apr 26

Divorce.

Salesforce Zaphod B Apr 26

You either trust your relationship or you don’t. Controlling how your girlfriend meets with an old friend is not going to change your level of trust.

Amazon blindrick OP Apr 26

Trust builds with actions and communication. This is type of thinking you throw around to get past your actions. The friend is about 3 years old and he as tried dating her in past, although she says she did not ever get in a relationship with him. He's visiting now and been asking her to meet with him. I don't mind her meeting with him in a neutral setting like office. What is bothering me is that she is keen on meeting with him alone at night. She initially asked him if she can bring any friends, but he declined saying he will not meet with her in anyone else is present. She told me all this, and I was hoping she would just deny meeting alone with him, but she did not and eventually started making plans Thursday night to meet on Friday night. I can trust her, but I can even think of doing same thing to her.

Intuit VXAt88 Apr 26

Here is a likely scenario- the guy is her ex…. Or did not reciprocate her interest She is meeting to show off how well she is doing- how hot she is and that she is marrying someone else. Women like to do that Instead of fighting let her go. Tell her u r meeting someone too. Order some gift feom amazon for “her”. If she asks who is she, evade the answer.

Amazon blindrick OP Apr 26

He is not her ex, but he did pursue her, and they have been on a couple dates in past. I told her to meet him anywhere she likes , when I was calmer the next morning, since I realise I did not want to tell her what to do and where, we had some fight the previous night over the issue. I am not gonna order something or do anything like that, I can't do that sort of conversations.

Expedia Group tadF32 Apr 26

To me this is a red line. If she wants him and trying to look nice for him, then she can be with him

Amazon blindrick OP Apr 26

That's the thing I can't understand.. why is she doing this? I can't say "she wants him". And just to save myself from overthinking, while she is out, I asked her not to meet alone with him. And then the conversation escalated.. I don't want to tell her what to do, but I also feel this is the line. She should not meet her past interest alone at night.

Expedia Group tadF32 Apr 26

Being in a relationship brings with it few assumptions, one of these assumptions is respect. She meeting this dude is a violation of the relationship rules and not respecting you. It's not about telling her what to do or not.

Twilio nouser99 Apr 26

She likely likes attention and this guy is clearly paying her the attention. Did she communicate recently on the lack of attention from you? It maybe immaturity on her part to make you feel jealous, which is why she shared all details with you. Have an honest mature 1-1 communication with her without any blame, this is pivotal to a good relationship. And if she still gets defensive and doesn't prioritize the relationship then cut your losses.

Amazon 💀imdead Apr 26

OP clearly knows what's going on but don't want to believe & have no balls to confront her, dudes like him see born to suffer How can a grown adult be this much naïve

Financial Services Company jqYa25 Apr 26

It's perfectly normal to socialize outside of work occasionally. When meeting someone, I ensure I present myself well, like taking care of basic grooming such as getting my eyebrows done. Don’t overthink.

SAP d@tks0 Apr 27

The difference here is that this is not just 'someone'.

Financial Services Company jqYa25 Apr 27

Yeah, someone who liked OP's girlfriend, but was rejected anyways at the first place

Oracle ocika Apr 26

1. You are overthinking. 2. You are insecure (with her). 3. You are weak (with needing others, mostly cretins as far comments, to support you).

Intuit VXAt88 Apr 27

I dont agree.

Palo Alto Networks 🔱✏️🖍️📍 Apr 28

@oracle is gas lighting

Google brammi Apr 26

OP, you are such a simp lol. No wonder, modern women are bending men front and backwards. You break up with her and she will immediately go to him.

FedEx tacosPizza Apr 26

Maybe you can go along with her. She will appreciate your willingness to socialize and meet her friends. If she doesn’t, then it’s a big red flag in my opinion.

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