Autism. Kids

Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
May 16, 2019 45 Comments

I have a son on spectrum. He is 8 now, and currently I doubt if he’s ever gonna be able to work, or live independently.

Parents of special kids, what do you think of your children future?

I’m also looking into all new devices that suppose to help, and feel like most of them created by people who didn’t know what they were doing.

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TOP 45 Comments
  • New / Product
    Quks45

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    Quks45more
    We keep believing in them and doing everything we can. It’s so tiring physically and emotionally. It also depends on the severity of the condition and if they speak. I use all resources possible around me (free/paid) education, therapies, etc. Childcare is so important so you get a relief and the regional centers are helpful.
    However I do agree with you that the services and devices aren’t great, everything is so behind. It’s a constant struggle and specially if you are a career oriented parent
    May 16, 2019 13
    • Fyi, the statistics about girls was proven to be false, or rather, inaccurate because expectations of female children differed from expectations of male children. If you want 100% guarantee, adopt a 2-3 year old child
      May 16, 2019
    • eBay svre
      Just ran into this thread.
      We decided to have second kid (girl) after 8 years gap . My teenage son is mainstreamed and we are worried about his career. If we want to change the workplace to be inclusive, we should make an effort to organize and change at our firms.
      Jan 9
  • Finale Inventory / Eng huHG50
    I was non verbal until age 5. Held back in kindergarten, did poorly in school up to grade 10. I'm high functioning but a very slow reader and writer so school work was hard. At that point I gave up and just looked for easiest path forward. Quit trying to do reading assignments, just skimmed for answers or I guessed based on what I could remember from class. School started having us write papers on computers, that helped a lot with being able to do English assignments. Started getting straight As after years of not being able to get work done and barely passing each grade. Ended up going to college and graduating with a 4.0 GPA doing the same. After graduating I found good paying remote job as a software engineer. Hope this helps some of you parents worry a bit less about your non verbal children. Things can change, they did for me at least.
    May 16, 2019 9
    • Finale Inventory / Eng huHG50
      I pretty much just tried minimum to pass because reading and writing is difficult for me. School got easier in highschool as doing assignments on a computer became more common. The thing that got me to try harder in school was having a goal of becoming a programmer. I figured out tricks that helped me do better in school, like for book assignments, they were near impossible for me because I was reading all the way through then looking at questions. Reading was really tough for me. Switched to skipping right to the questions then guessing based on what I remember from class or skimming for answers. Went from Ds and Cs in 9th grade to straight As ever since. I'm slow at writing so in class I focus on understanding and don't bother taking notes beyond formulas in math/science classes.
      Dec 26, 2019
    • Finale Inventory / Eng huHG50
      I started with playing RuneScape, it was very time consuming but it had a chat and keyboard controls which helped me get a decent typing speed at a young age. I wouldn't recommend MMORPGs like that or WOW because you end up getting to invested in them and it makes it hard to quit. In Halo 2 and Call of Duty I got introduced to video game modding. I figured out how to do it myself online then started spending all my time obsessing over reprogramming them. Minecraft helped me learn a bit of java and about Linux servers, ran a Minecraft server for a while and made some Minecraft plugins. Got into web programming because hacking seemed cool and gaming forum I learned about modding on had a section for it. Id recommend any games that give ability to build or make maps in it, it's a good way to express yourself. Games with the ability to reprogram them could help get someone into computers like it did for me. I recommend PC games over console since the skills are more transferable to real jobs that involve typing and general computer literacy.
      Dec 26, 2019
  • Oracle uu55dxvv12
    My heart goes out to you guys. Hope you find the right support group. Hope you find peace and happiness in your lives. Have you heard about Inclusive World in the Bay Area? I can connect with a few parents with much older Autistic kids. Maybe they can share their experiences.
    May 16, 2019 4
    • Oracle uu55dxvv12
      Quks45 feel free to DM me.
      May 16, 2019
    • Oracle uu55dxvv12
      aye dais. yeah traffic can be bad. Be sure to do different things to break the monotony or any depression you feel from the strain of taking care of an autistic child. You must seek group support for your own mental and emotional happiness. Give it priority.
      May 16, 2019
  • Amazon / Product Amznnn
    My son is 4 and has high functioning autism. I absolutely can relate to everything said here, it’s reassuring that I’m not alone in the ‘dark’ moments which happen on a daily basis. We are getting every therapy possible and thankfully we’ve seen amazing growth. We did opt for a 2nd child and again thankfully he seems to be neurotypical, but we’ll keep our fingers crossed. It’s a very lonely place as a parent and I am slowly shifting my goals and aspirations as a parent who wants to see my kids succeed. My goals are different now and I’m coming to terms with that.

    Things could be worse, there are worse ailments out there, other parents have it way way harder, so we just try and remind ourselves we are fortunate and grateful. But it’s always going to be hard. Cherish the hell out of those little wins and steps forward.
    May 16, 2019 3
    • Amazon / Product Amznnn
      It has impacted my career, no doubt. I ensure my hiring manager is well aware of my scenario and I’m needed at home. I’m super involved and make family my priority, so sometimes I can’t get work done when I want or how I want. I’m sure it will impact my overall trajectory, but it’s also changed my priorities (in a good way, I think). We as a family are an unbreakable unit and constantly support each other, a lot of that is due to my sons autism. So in a way, it brings us all closer.
      May 19, 2019
    • New / Product
      Quks45

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      Quks45more
      That’s a fantastic and very encouraging way to see yourselves. Thanks for sharing! I think this helps to get my mindset more ready on what job/team to look for
      May 20, 2019
  • Salesforce cYcx71
    I have the same thoughts about my 4yo son’s future all the time.

    I was diagnosed on the spectrum myself but that’s of no consolation when facing the reality that he will likely not be able to live independently.

    Even among the autism “community” I feel conflicted and lonely. On one hand, more awareness is good. On the other hand, most of the kids on the spectrum are quite functional. All these “autism moms” who are fucking “proud” of the autism in their lives have no fucking clue the kind of despair some families face.

    I don’t know man, I only pray none of our family ever has to live without any of the others. Maybe all of us will be lucky and go out in a quick crash together.
    May 16, 2019 3
    • Salesforce cYcx71
      Yes my son is non-verbal and it destroys me to imagine what would happen if my wife and I aren’t around. Pretty much no one would be able to understand anything he needs.

      I don’t tell people I’m diagnosed with ASD and ADD. Because I don’t want to glorify this crap. Because I see in my kid and his severely impacted peers what kind of struggle it is. I hate people’s expectations; e.g. he’s autistic so he can be Bill Gates or Magnus Carlsen!
      May 16, 2019
    • New / Eng wQck55
      As cynical as it may sound, for the “dying in your sleep”, there is the technical/social solution of a dead man’s switch. Tell your wife you will send her a message every evening and if you don’t something is severely wrong and she should call for help. Or technical automation - hasn’t touched a device/created internet traffic in n hours - alert ...?
      May 16, 2019
  • Axtria 💗69
    I know someone who is associated with Autism Speaks non-profit. Happy to connect you if that helps 😊
    May 16, 2019 4
    • Axtria 💗69
      Oops I am sorry. I have a friend, who is the mother of an autistic child, associated with that org. I can check if there's anything else that benefits her kid.
      May 16, 2019
    • New / Product
      Quks45

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      Quks45more
      Sure thank you :)
      May 16, 2019
  • New / Mktg jbna
    Hang in there! It's so hard to find balance / sanity. I wish I had encouraging words but it's so challenging. Even with resources free and paid it takes years to figure out what works for your child. Are you able to get an iep plan at your school?
    May 16, 2019 2
    • Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
      OP
      Oh, we’re in one of the best public school in the country, I believe. He has a lot of services on top of iep, assistive device (its and iPad for writing and sometimes talking, he was non-verbal till the age of 3 and used it to talk), adaptive sports.
      May 17, 2019
    • Kaspersky Lab / HR aye dais
      OP
      For me it’s more about adjusting my expectations on what future I foresee for him
      May 17, 2019

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