I give up. My experience as a cisgender, heterosexual woman dating in the Bay Area. Men ask me out after I meet them in person at some random Meetup event, but then can't meet me because they're too busy. Or because it's raining (what's 0.5 inches of rain and some wind gusts?). Or because it's too warm outside (cars, movie theaters, and restaurants have air-conditioning). When I agree to meet them, they want to make things easy for them. If they live in a part of the Bay Area that's not near where I am, they'll want me to drive down anywhere from 15 minutes to almost an hour to get to a bar, restaurant, park, or movie theater close to where they are. For them, it's a five-minute drive, at most. For me, it's a trip from one end of the Bay to another, that spans four to eight cities. How do you make a woman do all the driving (I call it heavy lifting) when you ask her out? Why can't the men research a good place to meet that's near to where I am? I finally put my foot down and told them that I will meet them half-way but that's too far to drive, especially with Bay Area traffic and with gas prices being so high. Expensive housing makes things complicated. They may have a roommate, so then they want to come hang out at my place because I don't have a roommate. That's just not an option for the first six dates as far as I'm concerned, for safety and security reasons. If they're divorced, they have a child or two, so I don't get to see them much on the weekends that they have custody. I have to wonder how lonely I'm going to feel if this becomes a long-term relationship, and I can't have him all to myself every weekend. On the weekends when they don't have custody of their kids, they want to hang out at my place because their place is "messy" or "the kids' stuff is all over the place"). That's not an option for the first six dates, as far as I'm concerned, for safety and security reasons. I recently met a guy who isn't divorced (same as me), has his own house, and he gave me a tour of his house and his garden. Great! When I wanted to know more about his dating history, his thoughts about being exclusive with me, his timeline for marriage, and how many kids he wants, he said that he's on Field, which is a dating site for people who don't want a committed relationship. It's kind of like an open relationship dating site. I was really offended that he wasted my time. It's a good thing that I didn't sleep with him.
try giving uglier/shorter/smellier guys a chance
While none of these guys are smelly, none of them are particularly tall or look like movie stars. This is Silicon Valley, not Hollywood.
Five years older or younger than I am. I'd consider ten years older or younger, but we probably wouldn't like the same music, pop culture, etc. We'd need a common hobby to be the glue. This is the Bay Area. No one looks like in Hollywood here. My criteria is realistic. I know that many Blinders are fixated on things like TC and NW but it's more important for the guy to make time to spend with me. My love language is quality time. Time>money.
Music and pop culture 🫣 I smell a troll
I also am having a hard time dating in sf….
It really sucks in the Bay Area.
Bay area dont suck. OP is having a hard time.
It's the same for guys. It literally an everyone experience. Today, I went from MTV to Berkeley for a date with a girl, she lives in Berkeley. Not compatible unfortunately.
female in Seattle. Same exact situation up here
It really sucks in these tech cities.
Since you guys are in your 40s, what’s your plan for babies?
You’re almost 40 and dating guys with roommates? Are these hot young guys or 40+ year olds jeez. Unfortunately chivalry is dead in US
Yes. This is the Bay Area. I dated a guy who is a Senior Finance Manager recently and he lives in a shared house.
Senior Finance Manager is a meaningless title and he probaly makes $0 tbh
Well I don't have a roomate if that counts and not looking for casual
DM me. Let’s go out Not a typical Rajesh here
Did she? I bet she didn’t! Her tone is like a dude and she wonder why she’s getting low effort men 😆
Lol look at this princess!
Who is the high-maintenance person here? Too busy with work to drive to where I am. Can't meet me because of some rain and wind gusts or because it's too hot and some wildfire smoke.
Those who don't want to drive just have better options. Tell you a secret: an average looking male 35+, with good income will have many dating options in BA. The fact that you don't want to hang out with the guys with kids tells a lot about you: you don't understand that relationships are dynamic and often require patience. You probably never been in long term relationships.
Inform your age and tons of blinders will respond
Almost forty.
Those men are not busy or lazy to drive. They put better effort for prettier / younger