I met a female doctor on one of the dating apps. She is a resident physician and has 1.5 years to complete her residency. We exchange texts twice a day and speak on the phone like once a week. We met in person last week. I actually liked her. For some reason, I have never been this motivated to get to know someone. She has been completely frank with me and stated all her situation and future expectations clearly. This hasn’t been the case when I dated other girls who are not doctors. Honesty is a beautiful virtue. This is where it gets tricky. She mentioned that once her residency ends, she would like to practice in a rural area to make the most she can so that her student loan is paid off within 3 years. She is still undecided which state she would apply. That implies I will have to move with her, leave my job. I am not sure if this was a complete disrespect or just a total disregard to what I bring to the table. I don’t know how to feel about that. In addition, because of my H1B visa, she feels ambivalent if this is what she wants. She is an American citizen. I am not sure who said visa status will cause relationship to not work. I am not asking her to sponsor me 😂 Since we met, I have been getting mixed feeling that this may not work. She didn’t say anything. The suspense and lack of clarity is killing me. We are still texting each other but lately, she has been doing 24 hr shifts. Have you dated a female doc? What would you do if you were in my situation? TC: 160k
sounds like you already know the answer. I would tell her that you’re not looking for sponsorship. as a citizen I also have concerns about someone potentially using me so it’s valid
I actually have two GC applications in progress, different priority dates. She wasn’t just sure about the process and how long it takes. She was born in the US
not questioning that you’ll get it. but yeah, it’s probably a good thing she’s not assuming you’ll be a provider but if you’re open to helping her financially if it gets serious then she can work somewhere less rural
If honesty is truly a virtue of hers (not only when it suits her), that is big positive imo!
Dude you met a week ago and already thinking 3 years ahead? You are coming off as needy to her and will push her away if you go like this
It is her plan. Not mine
You are overthinking this, stop coping
May not be now but later. Better to find someone in the same place in life than force compromises.
I like how she kept it professional lol
You are way overthinking this! You have had ONE date. You need to slow down and figure out if you like her first!
Shes got great clarity in that she wants to take care of her loans herself. Nothing wrong in siding with her for 3 years. Even a long distance relationship should work. Think of the rest of your life being smooth in a place of both your choice.
I was in a similar situation. The butterflies you’re feeling… it’s completely normal. But you’ve only texted her and her to know her a handful of times from what I understand. Don’t destroy your future for something that isn’t solid enough. You fill find many other opportunities… trust me it’s not worth it loosing your sleep
Bro you have no the motivation I get by just entertaining the idea that I am dating a doc 😂 sounds crazy but my energy feels like I can do masters in 1 year 😂
Then take that in as much as possible without ruining your potential
You can’t plan for 1.5 year from now or read too much into your interactions and expectations after meeting her once. I would just continue this for another year before having to worry about a decision to to relocate etc. I feel that she is approaching this like Americans and you are approaching it like Indians. She has no reason yo worry about the relationship at this point.
😂 at the truth. How did you know? Damn
You could easily make 160k in a remote SWE job, it’ll just take a lot longer to find one - so start looking now.
It is not about the job, she is just not confident enough with the visa process. I said the GC application has been filed. All I have to do is wait. Perhaps she heard horrible experiences with the visa?
You can be her nurse in the village.
She asked if I am a good cook. Kinda figured that I will be the trophy husband 😂
So are you a good cook?