I racked up 60k in a year working in France then moved to the us. I split the money equally between me, my parents and both sisters. Then got a job at Fanng. Family started asking bi yearly for small amount. Both amount and frequency started to increase. Like, every 2mo 500, or it’s not enough for mom or sis. I was happy to give at first but after a few years, this created resentment in my end. They are just bad at money management imho. I roughly gave 15-20k for each of them (5 ppl). Family is doing okay, but live paycheck to paycheck. I started saying no, and they made me feel shitty for that. They don’t even come pick me up from the airport… Now idgaf and just reply “no.”, this milking really changed me. Not sure if anyone else experienced this after getting a high TC job Sis wants me to buy a pair of shoes (Nike $200) for her son from the US. Not sure if I should try to be more considerate, nor how to handle this. TC 0 (used to be 320) Edit Thanks for overwhelming response. I feel so much better knowing that I am not the only one going thru this. I’ll still give whenever I feel like, but on my terms
This actually depend on what the family has spent on you and your sisters education. If you both are given equal opportunity and you made it you can stop giving money to your sister and if she is not capable just because her education doesn’t allow her then you have to make your sister acquire some skills to set you free from borrowing the money indefinitely. Parents are different: What was your parents retirement plans ? If it exists or not ? What are their current expenditures? You can pay the bills/ health expenses which would hardly anything. Give them money as much as you can with your budget on regular basis like monthly don’t overwhelm them with huge amount of money at once.
We grew up okay. We had food on the table but living in the ghetto. They spent all they had: ~50k on my degree. I brought them gifts, took them on a few trips in business class, so they could travel etc. I’m not cheap when it comes to their comfort She sucked in class and ended with a regular 9-5 bus driver job. Dad has decent retirement (5k/mo) mom has basic retirement (~1k/mo), but dad didn’t pay his taxes younger 😂. They spend 2.5k/mo. She does not want to ask him coz he’s nosy and will want to know what she does with the money. Yeah, smaller amonts work better! I’ll take note of this. Thanks 🙏
Ignore this. You don’t owe your parents anything just because they raised you. It was their decision to have kids knowing the cost of raising them. Having kids is not an investment scheme hoping one of them make it big. I think what you have already given is very generous and you shouldn’t have “but we are family” as a possible guilt trip.
u only get 1 family
True. Does it give them the right to get money whenever they want? I’m not sure where the line should be drawn. I gained financial literacy when I moved to the us. I got 0 debt, cc always paid on time.
Your family doesn’t need the money, even if they spent 50k on your Epitech degree
Epitech’s degree got hella expensive now $$
You’re enabling them to be lazy you are hurting them and yourself
You need to set clear boundaries. It's probably time for some tough love - no more handouts. Them telling you that $15k per year, each, is insufficient is ludicrously entitled. That alone is grounds for going no contract until they give a genuine apology. But first, you need to make it very clear that the money has stopped and won't be coming back regardless.
bro, you need to take responsibility for all the basic needs of your parents but you are already doing it by paying 15k per month to each parent. I think you should discuss with your parents about your situation instead of directly saying no.
> you need to take responsibility for all the basic needs of your parents Lol. He does not
As a natural born American, I can never understand other cultures’ undying devotion to their parents. Your parents sound like leeches. They are halfway around the world. Why do people let them control their lives?
This seems to be an issue for many moving to the US. I have never asked my children for money and would have to be desperate to do so. In fact, I helped them both with house down payments. Why does your family know how much you earn?
They don’t but see that I can’t fly back & forth. In most people’s mind: working for Faang as swe = rich from yoe 0
Don’t EVER share your tc with parents/siblings EVER.
U the family atm
Printing $$$ like the feds (well, that was before lay offs)