Financially Irresponsible Spouse
Married a while. My spouse just generally sucks at frugality, long term financial planning, and budgeting. I’ve tried everything but she somehow manages to overspend each month. As my TC goes up, so does her idea of “stuff we need”. How do you all deal with this?
Ask strangers on Blind instead of face it head-on.
Doing both things. Only a fool would assume that all the answers lie within.
I’m not wrong
Tell her only a part of TC that went up. Eg: if your comp increases by 20k, tell her 5k. Invest the rest somewhere else.
You clearly don’t understand how marriage works my friend..
Not trying to lie to my wife.
Is she working? Set monthly budget. Make her stick to it.
Make her? Are you married?
op's reply is underrated for sure.
TC?
TC 265 YOE 12
Is she on Blind? 🤣 u r asking the right question to the wrong people
If she was on Blind then she’d have her own TC to spend.
Boom roasted
This is serious stuff, so face it like it’s important. Set a time and tell her you would like to discuss it. She may freak out but give her time to digest it. But the goal is to sit down and talk about it. Edit: many people ignore pivotal occasions where things need to discuss and feelings to express. Then one day they wake up and ask where did it go wrong. All important things are hard to articulate and potentially contentious. So you need a strategy and we understand it. If you already talk “too much” then choose just one thing as an action and act on it, then see what happens.
You’re right and we talk about it a lot. Probably too much if you ask her.
Yeah. You need to have scrums and checkpoints in relationships too!
Some people have a really hard time just saving money. It's easier for them when they're saving for something in particular. See if you can get her on board with e.g. aggressively buying or paying off a house.
This has been the most successful strategy over the years. Trick is in finding something big that she cares more about saving for than her every day spending.
Note down all expenses at one place. Sum it up after 15 days and show it to her. She will understand after seeing the data. Trust in data.
Lol don't be silly. At best you'll make her feel bad and make it sound like you're blaming her for the financial issues. Even if that's accurate, vocalizing it is a sure fire way to get into a fight. See my response before for a better option.
I mean to say note down expenses as a couple. Sum it up after 15 days and say baby we spend this much every 15 days. Don't blame her. Ask her is it wise to do so or should we change? If we lose job do we have enough savings or we are living paycheck to paycheck?
Ask to work as well if she doesn't have a job to meet her needs. If she can't, well you have to make the rules about safe spending. Of not, try seeing a marriage counselor.
Sit down and discuss the financials with her like a responsible adult instead of complaining about it on Blind.
Brilliant. Can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that.
Does she earn a living? If so, agree that one of you gets to spend the money on day to day things and the other does the saving. Then she will have to use her income to pay for household stuff and anything else, you use yours for saving and maybe mortgage if she can’t cover it alone.