I just joined a new company working as entry level software engineer. For some reasons, I feel insecured. I am an introvert that takes some time for me to blend in the team. I am kinda awkward with most of my teammates, but i am getting along with part of the team. Even though I really do my best in finishing my tasks, there’re a couple of times i made some mistake (and repeated 2-3 times), and my senior’s(whom i’m still awkward with) tone seems to be a bit upset most of the time. For some reasons I am scared of getting pip-ed, even though my manager told me that he was impressed about my fast learning and nothing to worry about. For the first time I am scared of my senior (even though my manager says that this is his straightforward personality, nothing to worry about) and this feeling contributes to my insecuritiness. I feel insecured. What should i do?
Keep in mind that you got this job because you totally deserve it. Document the processes as much as you can, so you don’t have to go and ask the same questions twice, and the team will appreciate all that documentation.
Which company? Amazon?
You will likely need to work harder than the majority of your peers now, but that will pay off for you down the road in terms of confidence. Based on 3 months, I would say that your only job is to get to know your product very well. Do whatever it is that you have to do so that you can explain how your product works and why it was designed that way. Thats about the best thing you can do in order to become fully integrated into the team when you are socially awkward. I’ve seen several instances where introverts occupied a privileged and respected place on the team by having superior product knowledge. Some insight into what your teammates are thinking where a newbie is concerned: Seniors appreciate knowledge and ability to get working without many interruptions to their day. Peers appreciate having a team member who doesn’t draw too much of their energy, in the forms of attention/focus, or create unnecessary drama like needing to be told that they are on the right track, that they are doing a good job, or are expressing fear about something. ———— at 1 year Look for ways to get involved in other activities. Not sure if your company has virtual teams or volunteer activities, maybe code reviews for instance, that will give you more exposure to other people; hopefully those people will be more senior than you. In general, anytime that I’ve felt bad about my own performance, I’ve fixed it by becoming more aware of what is happening around me. These experiences helped me make small changes to my mindset, which redirected my efforts in areas where I could outperform others.
I think what you are feeling is pretty normal. If your manager is giving you positive feedback and reassuring you then this should tell you that your performance is sufficient to say the least. You say you are an introvert. Does this mean to you that you derive more counsel from your own thinking or need to pull back from others to recharge? If so, then you are likely a true introvert. If talking and being with others is what recharges you, and if outside opinions matter more than your own, you are likely more of an extrovert. There are those who are actually extroverts who are just awkward with others. And in jobs where it requires independent work and less collaboration with others. I have seen people who believed they were introverts struggling in similar ways as you are who didn’t realize they were extroverts and not introverts. I say just keep trying to build bridges with people. Some people are just really tougher to work with and it might be nothing to do with you. If the manager is telling you this about that person I think you have to trust them and just keep plugging away.
I love talking to people - it just takes time for me to break the ice. In the beginning I can be a conversation killer because I tend to say “I see” when I couldn’t think what to continue
Not to pile on, but the correct way to express what you’re feeling is “I feel insecure.” Not unsecured. Worrying about getting PIPed isn’t going to make any difference. So don’t do that to yourself. Redirect your anxious energy towards working hard, making sure you’re learning something new everyday, and trying not to make the same mistake twice. Especially if it’s simple stuff. I would be irritated by that as your senior too.