Get off of a one-sided relationship/crush/whatever
Not a question - just a confirmation to anyone out there who might be in the same situation.
It’s possible! :)
We met via friends and happen to work in the same office.
I used to be super excited about “running into” them at breakfast, or lunch, or dinner or coffee bar (Thanks, Google, for the free food!)
I was always attentive and tried to initiate conversations, suggested fun activities, etc. I did nice things for the person. I used to check their moma page once in awhile just to see their face. I used to glance at their status on hangouts often just to see if they’re online/in office.
It was a lot more than a crush - it lasted about 2 years and would have lasted longer had I not decided to do something about it.
The reaction I got was mostly vague - not really “yes”, but not really “no” or withdrawal, which would have indicated a definite “no”.
Some hard lessons learnt:
- if you can’t tell if it’s a yes, then it’s a no. Trust me, you will know if someone is interested.
- it’s not easy to turn off your feeling but it’s possible: make the distance, go out of your way NOT to meet the person, cut the “stalking”. It’d be super hard the first day, but then it gets easier.
Someone told me this, you don’t actually love someone more than yourself. You love and want to be with someone because that would make YOU happier. That means you love yourself more. Cynical as that might sound, believe it! Now you just need to make sure you execute it correctly.