You have a phone interview. Software Engineer. Google. You get an instant hard-on as you look at the compensation on levels.fyi. It's time, the stars have aligned. You have memorized the optimal solutions to all leetcode hard questions. You're going to cheat. Again. After failing over 20 interviews trying this strat, you have finally perfected the art of regurgitating code from memory. The interviewer introduces himself to you and starts asking about your background. "I see your resume shows that you have been working at Amazon. What have you been working on?" Crap. You choke and start sweating. You actually don't have any work experience so you put Amazon on your resume as a lie. You can't tell the interviewer that you have been unemployed while playing video games the past three years out of college. No one has asked about your work experience in the previous interviews so this has caught you off guard. "I signed an NDA" you manage to spurt out. The interviewer gives you a weird look but decides not to press further. It's finally time to code. You decide to code in Perl. Can't be using a basic b**** language like Java or Python. If you interview in an esoteric language, the interviewer won't know if you make any syntax mistakes. You can also lie about using builtin magical data structures like OptimizedList that has O(1) everything. "Ah, Perl is my favorite programming language. I've been coding in Perl since I was 15." Ah shit, the interviewer called you on your bluff. What kind of person codes in Perl unironically? You give a nervous chuckle. It's ok though because you still have a chance to pass by cheating. The interviewer finally tells you the problem. Given a binary tree of integers, find the largest integer in the tree. This caught you off guard. You were memorizing leetcode hards for months to prep for this interview. No way did you expect to be asked a leetcode easy. You sweat as you think harder and harder, digging deeper into the weeds of your brain to try to remember what you learned from your Data Structures class in college. "Brain Blast!" you shouted. You remember that you were a professional cheater back in college. You were going to cheat and get the job - no matter what it takes. All you had to do was google the solution while you tell the interviewer you are looking up documentation for Perl. The plan was flawless. You tell your interviewer you're looking up documentation as you look for answers on Stack Overflow. You check the time and realize you have 20 minutes left. Oh crap. You don't have much time left and you start panicking. You quickly scan through the results and three letters pop out to you - "DFS". That's right! DFS! That's the algorithm that scans through the tree by checking for the bottom-most leaf, one at a time. "I'll be using Down First Search for this problem, or as the pros call it, DFS" you tell the interviewer. "DFS? Do you mean Depth First Search?" the interviewer inquires. You argue back stating that it's Down First Search since you search down the tree. How does an engineer at Google not know this? This is elementary algorithm knowledge. You carefully switch between tabs to copy over the solution, character by character. You have to make it seem like you are typing it out instead of copying line by line. You finish coding the solution. Finally. The interviewer asks you about runtime and space complexity as well as test cases to look out for. You tell him that the complexity is O(tree) for both since you scan through the whole tree and you don't need to write any test cases since your code is perfect. You don't make mistakes. The interviewer smiles and nods as he types away at his keyboard. "He's probably writing down that I'm a strong hire due to my flawless code and all the strong signal I gave out" you think to yourself. The interviewer thanks you as that was all the time we had. You finally did it. You coded up a working solution to the problem. You hopped on LinkedIn to share the news with all five of your connections. You finally got your dream job at Google and you can't wait to start working there. You made it. The next day you receive a rejection email from Google. What the f***? You were infuriated and logged on Reddit to complain about how broken the interview process is and how FAANGs need a better way to identify excellent candidates like you are. You are the perfect candidate for the job but you can't make it because of some dumb interview questions that don't relate to what you can do. 30 minutes later, you take a deep breath. "This time I will make it" you tell yourself as you change the name on your resume and create a new email. You go on Google's career page and apply for a Software Engineer job. Again.
This made my friday a lot better 😂
wtf is shit shit ?
Plot twist - that’s how the interviewer got in so he knows it’s full of BS
This is great!
What is this erotica... 😳