I think the only friends I have are the people I met during grad program. And now, I am losing touch with many of those because they moved to different cities or pursued different paths. I haven't made many friends at work because the environment is more professional. Although I share a good bond with them during work hours, we don't stay in touch outside the boundaries and working hours of office. A few times I asked them if they want to join me for a day trip, but they didn't show interest. I also took home made snacks once but again, no interest. So I am guessing they want to keep it professional. How did you make friends? P.S. Before anyone points out, I am not socially awkward. I used to get along very well with most people in grad school.
If that's the criteria people use to evaluate who to be friends with, I'd prefer dying alone.
Wtf?
Pick up hobbies and do stuff you enjoy that involves other people. You'll invariably make friends with some of them.
Like leetcode? 🤔😂
Neighbors, go on group tours as a single. You have to make the effort, go out of your way to ask people to do things, multiple times. It’s hard and gets harder as you get older. I’m still waiting for old friends to come back into my life after their kids move out, in their fifties maybe.
Play GTA online. I have made real good friends there. I have good friends that I made when in grad school but then everyone moved to different cities and then when folks meet up, its the same thing. Booze and pass out. For someone like me, who does not smoke or drink, I realized, I am not enjoying those meetups any more and started siloing from those meetups. See them once in a while, all other time, I am either Leetcoding or playing GTA. I know it sucks, but such is my life. 🙂
Do you meet these people in real life?
Nope. Have not met them in real. 😅 Are you into GTA too? 🙂
Tinder? Or Grinder if that’s your thing....
Neither of those are for friendships.
False. One of my good friends is happily married as a result of a Tinder meet up. A kid too!
Having moved around many times, I find colleagues the best possible candidates for friendship. Go out of your way to get to know them, you will be surprised how much you can have in common.
Suggestions on the best way to do this?
Set some time aside to meet & talk to get to know your teammates, one on ones. Starts with going to lunch, then soon you bond, go for a bite or drink after work, the rest just follows.
What about geocaching? That gets you outside, hiking and meeting all kinds of people on the trail. Look for local groups and try something you've always wanted to try. I met a great group in VA going white water rafting.
One of the keys is repeated interaction. That’s why it’s easy to make friends at work or school — because you see them all the time. If you have a club or gym or church that you see people constantly at, then it will be much easier. From there, you need to invite people to do things with you — maybe a snack after gym or lunch after church or weekend hike or movie night at your place. Also DONT discount your school friends. These are still friends and you can leverage their network and say “hey do you know anyone out here I’m moving” or even reach to see if they have moved to the same place
You don’t make friends it just happens If you have to make friends they are not friends they are just good folks to hangout with
You must be in your 20s 😀
I wish
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