How many chances do you give your significant other to make it up to you?
My boyfriend has let me down countless times. But not like cheating or anything like that. He just seems to fail to treat my problems the way I treat his. It's frustrating. I've been telling him for over year and it wasn't until I told him I didn't feel loved that he started to actively make changes for our relationship. But after a year of going through being let down, is it worth giving him the extra time to make it up to me. I love him and I want us to work it out. But then again like I've felt so disregarded and disrespected for so long that it's hard to come back. What do you think?
You communicated the seriousness and he is reacting now. I think you should continue on this path and see where it leads, keep the communication open. Don’t give up now just when he began working towards it
Give us examples
You need to lower your expectations, he doesn’t report to you, you don’t write his paychecks, stop treating him like a dog.
^ Found OP's boyfriend.
Since your post shows you are a woman, expect a lot of hate on this thread. Here's my take though: Since you are making this post, you have likely given him a lot of chances already. And you seem to be at a point where you will have to suffer from low self worth and respect if you continue doing that. So this is a critical time for your relationship. Relationships are not built on love or attraction. They are built on investment. If you can't invest yourself into each others' lives, this likely won't last long. Just telling someone "I don't feel loved" isn't enough though. Because people can love in different ways. It might be possible you are expecting him to behave a certain way that he either doesn't know or isn't used to. I would recommend you ensure you are communicating it right. You are letting him know the exact things that hurt you, the exact behaviors you don't like (instead of generic phrases like I don't feel loved), the exact scenario where you felt hurt. And request him to be careful going forward. If he cares about you, he will try to change those. But don't expect overnight change though. Habits are hard to break. Pay attention to how he reacts when you communicate this to him. If he really wants to invest in the relationship, he will listen and make a note of it in his head. If he doesn't want to invest, he wouldn't care or find the talk a burden. There you will have your answer.
No amount of communication will help. Don’t waste your time. I wasted 2 years in a similar situation
He is not going to change. He’s already shown you how he values you and your relationship. Accept the relationship as it is or move on.
Personally… I just rely on myself and let it go. Maybe I let too much go. But it’s easier than fighting. Maybe not as optimal as looking for a new partner but idk if I’d find someone better (on net). So I stay :) it’s not all bad either
Your husband works at which company?
At a company where one can read.
It will be the same with pretty much every man out there. If you love him, then stick with him, but you will have to remind him now and then. It's in our nature to get easily distracted.
Aka permanent 'man-children'. And then they wonder why women aren't interested in them.
The good news is that we eventually grow out of it. Sometime after 40, it gets to a point where not everything is about sex anymore. Thats when women lose their power over us as well.
Why should he “treat your problems “. You sound like a child
Don't listen to this guy. He doesn't know how a relationship works.