I am looking for some life advice on how I can develop a more rounded personality. I grew up in a poor family in a third world country. My parents had a combined income of 200 dollars a month. My parents were always dealing with financial stress and arguing with each other and I grew up super introverted with no friends or activities to do ( we couldn't afford activities and my parents could not commit time to these either ). I don't know if I was born that way or if it was my environment - I am on autistic spectrum - bad at emotional intelligence, bad at picking up social cues, slightly delayed auditory processing (previously had problems with eye contact and physical coordination ). I was always naturally good at math/science/logic. I have always been unable to fake enjoyment in superficial interactions and can't fake a smile etc and always like deeper interactions. Fast forward to the present - I am in my late 20s - and while I have fixed some of the things like (becoming more fit and athletic , being able to maintain eye contact), and enjoying things besides nerdy stuff like sports , music etc. I still have limited number of friends though and while I am able to get dates through apps - they often don't pan out well despite my my best efforts . I think one of the reasons is that my personality too one dimensional (that is the logical side of the brain dominates a lot ) and I have a limited set of interests like tech, finance, politics, sports etc I always treat my dates with great respect, pay all the bills, do things that I know they enjoy (based on prior conversations) and occasionally the dates go really well but then the relationships fizzle out for some reason. What could I be doing wrong ? How can I become more well rounded as a person? How do I stop my logical part of my brain from coming in the way ? What can I do to be a more interesting person ? #dating #relationships #marriage
Just say work at Google on Shaadi.com. You’ll be set.
I think you are looking at yourself from the outside. How to be likeable by other people.. Think about what would you like to do, what kind of person you want to be with. Maybe because you are trying to be someone else it doesn’t work out because your first impression is different from who you are. Try to be yourself and maybe you’ll find a nerdy person and you will be comfortable with each other.
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You don’t have to become someone else, just better at communicating who you are to the right person. Work on that rather than trying to be someone who has mass appeal. Use the help of a therapist who specializes in people on the spectrum, there should be plenty in the Bay.
Thank you for your thoughts