He immediately jumps into action mode suggesting why am I not switching companies. If I am complaining about my manager, sometimes he tries to ask me details without immediately siding with me first. In my mind, he should immediately take my side without trying to ‘analyze’ the situation or be logical about it. I need his support and not a logical explanation of how I could have done better. Does anyone else go through this too? Tc:400k
Divorce
dudes wanna problem solve, but you just wanna be heard and validated. if he doesn't adjust, you're just gonna feel like you can't talk to him about a major part of your life and resentment will set in. my gf is autistic as hell (love her) and she does the same thing. she's had to learn to just let me be mad, be mad with me, and then i'll calm myself down feeling supported.
Divorce!!!!
Before you rant, tell him if you want a solution or comfort from him. If he doesn’t support you after that, find another man who will help you
+1 Actually it's a good idea to know beforehand what result you want out of a conversation, and communicate it. Males it easier for the other party to provide that and not go off path on something else
I do that a lot and my wife complains to me that I do that a lot. So I have tried to change that. Communicate. Have a heart - heart. Should be okay.
Tell him you don’t need solution, you just need to be heard. If he’s like me, I grew up with nobody to bank on. If it’s bothering me, I have to solve it. So I didn’t understand when my wife came in from work giving only the ugly parts of the day. She told me that she only wants to be heard, and I said oh for sure! And now I’m her punching bag for life and I’m enjoying it. :)
NTA, divorce
spoken like a true redditor
And what did he say when you communicated this to him?
lol. So your partner asking for more details .. so that he can help you understand if it’s your mistake or not … is the ideal solution for you to grow. He may take your side today. What if this happens everyday? If you only want someone to take your side .. go buy your partners size soft toy.
We switched from arranged marriage to free dating for the last, idk, maybe 700 years? for a reason. And you just figured out the reason.