I am facing a moral crisis, HELP🔥
I grew up in a small town in India where the educational standards were very substandard. My parents took a big career hit (and spent a ton of money) to relocate to a city with better educational resources for two years until I finished high school. They also paid for all of my college which I am very grateful for. The unspoken agreement all along was that I would get a high paying job after my education. I came to the US for PhD and moved to the industry afterwards for higher pay and to be able to pay them back (they are not broke but could be doing a bit better). However I am not passionate about what I am working on so I want to move back to academic research but that would mean I will not be able to send my parents money or fulfill their expectation that I have a six figure salary. I know it’s my life at the end of the day but my parents sacrificed a lot of their lives for me and I feel bad violating their expectations. Anyone in this situation? What do you suggest?
Your parents want you to be happy. They don't care about the money.
They were shocked when I told them a PhD doesn’t get you a lot of money and were regretting that they encouraged me to do a PhD so I think they had some concern about my salary too.
I'm sure they were, but I'm sure they sacrificed because they love you - not because they thought it was a great investment for them
How much do you have to pay them for you to fulfill your obligation? Pick a number, hit that, then GTFO.
Work for more years, make sure financial needs are taken care of for them. Then move back to your research.
Can’t move to research if I am not publishing.
I second this. These days it’s possible to pursue secondary career any time provided we should have interest.
Maybe go back to India tbh. You might end being closer to family and actually help them out. I’m sure you can get a decent job as well.
Tough situation. You mentioned that they're living just fine without your assistance. You may want to follow your passions but it really depends on how much you hate your present life. If you can hold out for 5 years and make consistent income and prop yourself up, then do it. You do risk living and unfulling life which costs more than any money could buy. So if you choose to invest in yourself long term and follow your passion it won't pay off now, and might pay off in the future. Tough pick, but it sounds like your parents aren't in a terrible position so you wouldn't be letting them down too much. If you choose your passion, don't bullshit it. Give it your all 24/7 and make the most of it. Otherwise that choice would be a waste of even more resources. Goodluck.
What makes you think academia will make you happy? Huge pay cut and no autonomy. Try Google X instead, or something similar, i.e. research in the industry, where you paid well.
I am in an R&D division and honestly I think academia has way more autonomy 🤷♂️
I mean you get to conduct research for yourself rather than for the advancement of a company. Makes sense that it's autonomous from that standpoint. I am curious, what is your wlb like? There must be other activities or side businessness you can build up for now until you figure out your life plan. This supplementary income can go straight to your parents.
They didn’t do a favor to u. They jus did it to make themselves feel good. You paid them to make yourself feel good. Jus do what feels good to u
Become research scientist
Your research isn’t going anywhere. Parents won’t be around forever.
This
...and broken dreams WILL be around forever