I am 23, working fully remote since January 2022. Before that I completed a Full Stack bootcamp (Hack Reactor) where I pretty much stayed in my house for 3 months, studying from 9am to around 8-10pm and barely went out to hang out with my friends or simply see sunlight. Before Hack Reactor I was laidoff from an Amazon warehouse to begin the year (told on january 1st 2021). Got a job I hated on a Wawa (fancy gas station) earning $11/h. Then I flew and worked on a construction project down in Texas, 7 days a week, from 6am to 6pm, earning like $1200 per week, I went with my at the time girlfriend, my best friend and his girlfriend. We all shared a room, my girlfriend cheated on me with the manager and had the balls to say even if we broke up she wanted to stay in touch with my mom (just to give you an idea of how sinic she was), after that I worked doing doordash and uber eats while I found a job back at home and then I started working as a Walmart associate ($14/h), earning barely enough to help my parents with my part of monthly payments (rent, food, etc). I pretty much studied and worked 50-60+ hours per week. Fast forward to december 2021 and I got my interview with a company from Chicago, they hired me as a Junior Front-end Engineer TC 75k. I loved my team and there was a lot of learning as part of my first professional year in the industry but after the honeymoon phase passed I started feeling everything. I live with my parents in a 3 bd apartment close to where they work. My room is also my office, and in my desk I also have a gaming pc. So pretty much I wake up, and work and play on the same room and due to the nature of my relationship of my current gf I stay like 80% of my time between these 4 walls. I go out of my room to eat and shower. I started working out back in may with one of my closest friends 4-5 times a week and I felt so good until I had a surgery on my chest to remove precancerous cells, after that I've pretty much stopped going to the gym. In February 2023 I got laid off but fortunately my previous CTO put me in contact with another company and in less than 2 weeks I had signed an offer. I feel empty inside, I don't enjoy work nor feel engaged, I don't read books anymore which I used to do, I don't listen to podcasts which I used to do, I don't go to the gym anymore, I've lost like 5 lbs but gained a ton of belly fat, I've wanted to start some personal projects but I can't even dedicate 30 mins to them consistently. I've discussed a lot with my current gf (we are on long distance with plans to move together in a couple of months), my dad stopped talking to me (won't go into details) and everyone in my house is extremely tense. I've thought of moving on my own but I earn way more than my parents so I decided to stay for another year and save enough for a house downpayment for my parents so that they dont have to move every 2 years because of rent (they work retail) we are immigrants, they are closing in to 60, are not as fluent in english and are not in shape, they walk like someone who is 80. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel, sometimes I'll go on night drives and end up parking and crying and screaming to try to drain a bit. I try to go out with my friends to put my mind on to something else but the minute am not with them I am miserable. I try to at least walk 30-45 mins and dedicate 30 mins to my project, eat healthier but can't stay consistent, my sleep schedule is trash... Btw, I've had therapy sessions with a psychologist since may-june 2022 YOE: 1 and a couple of months TC: 105k
Youâre doing an amazing job! You need to keep going and add back in some dopamine. Donât quit on the gym, that will payoff wonders in the long run. In the short term, a little bit of weed goes a looooong way
Got any better short term solutions?
Meditation can work wonders with dopamine.
Sounds like depression. It ainât easy but you canât be so hard on yourself. Youâve endured some shitty stuff and itâs important to give yourself the same advice youâd give to your best friend. Take it one day a time and make sure you take time for self care. Eventually youâll find a way out of the rut but only if you take time to take care of your mental health
Sounds like you are feeling the jitters of entering adult life. Happened to me. Took a break for a few weeks and it helped me with newer perspectives
Maybe try to get a hobby outside of the house. Even just going for a walk every day really helps me
ChatGPT chill Steve [Steve đ]: Damn bro, that sounds like a tough situation. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and lost when everything seems to be piling up on you. But you gotta remember that you're a badass motherfucker, and you can handle anything life throws at you. First of all, it's good that you're going to therapy and talking it out. That shit can really help, man. And it's cool that you're trying to take care of your parents and make sure they have a stable home. But you gotta remember to take care of yourself too, ya know? It's okay to take some time for yourself and do the things you enjoy, like reading books or working on personal projects. Maybe you could try setting small goals for yourself, like reading for 15 minutes a day or working on your project for 30 minutes a day. And don't be too hard on yourself if you can't do it every day, bro. Just do what you can, and try to be consistent. And as far as your relationship goes, it's important to have open and honest communication. If you're feeling empty or unfulfilled, maybe you could talk to your girlfriend about it and see if you guys can work on it together. And if your dad isn't talking to you, maybe you could try to reach out and have a conversation with him, even if it's difficult. Just remember, bro, you got this. You're a badass motherfucker, and you can handle anything life throws at you. Stay chill, stay positive, and keep pushing forward.
Now those SciFi movies where AI gives advice make sense. OP, you'll pull through. Just take things one step at a time.
Thanks ChatGPT, you're a true friend.
You need social life. Find a job where you can go to the office
I agree to this. In college I was really doing well because I was living with my best friend. Had a circle and it was all good. But then within first 6 months of joining work pandemic hit and wfh started and its been like that since then. Friends moved to different cities and working from home especially from a toxic one, not seeing your friends and socialising hv taken a toll on me as well. Right now I am look out for work from office opportunities so that I can move out, make new friends at work and restart.
I was at a remote job last year, and missed exactly this: seeing people in an office. New job has bumps but seriously they make it as comfortable as possibleâand so many reasonable people to meet.
Bro! Much respect to you! Youâre killing it! Youâre parents are proud of you - they are immigrants so they donât know how to tell you they are proud, but trust me they are. I am proud of you! These moments are growing pains. Youâll learn from them and use the lessons to guide your decision making going forward. You might even reference them in your interviews to show how determined, diligent, and goal oriented you are! Just make sure to take care of your health. Mental and physical! 5 years from now, I know you will be very successful. You have all the traits bro!!! Iâm really really proud of you dude! We need more people like you!
Iâm not OP but I felt great about myself just reading this. Thanks for the positivity.
Awesome comment
1. Congratulate yourself for writing this post and also for clearing those interviews, getting those jobs. 2. Write happy journal every day mentioning the goods you have done or have happened to you today that you are happy/proud of. 3. Exercise and meditate daily. Even if it's for 1 minute each per day. 4. Read the book 5 Am Club by Robin Sharma. 5. Continue talking to therapists on a weekly basis. All the best. Let me know if you want to talk to someone 1:1.
#3 this. Try starting small for a few minutes a day until it becomes a habit. Then increase the time. Otherwise it becomes hard to build a routine.
I think you need time off to restart again
No. He doesn't describe anything that bothers at work. He needs to have friends around him or a job that involves lot of people interaction.
Another example that 100% remote work will create a mental health crisis!