I just bought a home last August in Portland, that we've done a lot of little home improvements to for the baby and ourselves. New paint, new deck, recessed lights, etc. I've been unhappy at work for a long time and got a better job offer in Seattle (not about the money). Initially I was going to turn down the offer because I didn't want to uproot my family so soon. Then, my SO encouraged me that id be crazy to not take the offer and being completely supportive even with another move. I'm looking at renting out my house in Portland and renting a townhome in Seattle. My mother (who lives with us in an ADU) asked today if I thought about going to Seattle by myself for a year. Just renting a room or studio in Seattle. Coming home on the weekend (bus, train) to be with my SO and baby. My mother thinks it would save money. Am I crazy for considering her idea as a viable option? My stats: PhD engineer at Intel (TC:165) Taking job with FB (TC: 205). I'm a new mom, been with my BF for 3 years, and he's an incredible stay at home dad with our 18 month old baby.
Time spent with baby outweighs the money.
That really depends. For a while I was desperately missing quiet time and the long train commune similar to your situation kept me sane. Headphones and audiobooks all the way. That was the only time I could catch a breath, it was amazing. Though, I don’t know how you take on separation anxiety, it can be a biyatch, even with an amazing stay at home dad. Hormones do their shit. Have you been away alone for a week before? How do you take it? Also, I’d be a little concerned about showing up once a week only, growing up my father worked that schedule and I always freaked out at seeing him again until the age of 5. IMO, it would have been doable without the baby in the mix, with the child, you need to be around a little more than that.consider also the effects of this on your intimacy and sex life and you get the picture. I question your MIL’s motives on this
I really do miss quiet time. Hell, that might be why I'm even considering this crazy option. I have not traveled by myself since we had the baby. It's been Dad and I for a week away or Baby and I for a week away. For the anxiety, even when I'm at work only 12 miles away, he sends me a picture or video while they are at the park or something.
I DMed you op
What you’re really asking about here (spending the week in Seattle alone) isn’t commuting, it’s a long distance relationship. FB is a great company for your career, it’s also very family friendly. Given the young one isn’t in schooling yet, and BF is supportive, I would rent and relocate with the family. Time box it, sat at the end of a year you’ll reevaluate things with living situation (living in your own home is better than renting, and it’ll save the BF from feeling like he’s in perpetual home limbo). Economically, you’ll spend 20k in commute to Portland and back each week, not to mention rent in Seattle with no rental income to cover it from Portland. I would only consider this if you *really* want to work at FB and he *really* doesn’t want to leave Portland, and it’s absolutely not about the money.
Yeah the more I think about this, the more it sounds like a horrible idea. The kid is young, moving should be nbd. IMO, in the interest of your child and your family,either you move or don’t move at all.
This is the best answer. Don't half way do it. If she really wants to further her career (good) move the whole family including her mom to Seattle. Their standard of living will be reduced, but that's the short term price to pay. If she values family more than career, then she should stay where the family seems happily situated. If she does what her mom suggests, she will not be able to concentrate on her work... And will definitely change the family dynamics.
Have you already accepted the offer? Maybe you could explain your situation to FB (just moved, need to move again) and ask for more money.
Might not be so easy to rent out in Portland depending on your home location. If your home is on the east side then the renter you get will all be low income and will have problem with paying ur rent. On the west side the rent will barely cover the mortgage. They freaking construction in Bethany is keeping all the Portland housing downs
North/NE within walking distance to 3 Parks, on bus lines, near PCC, Concordia University, U of P, Safeway, several corner stores. Property management company has pretty good reviews. In fact it's run by a personal and professional friend of our family.
Move. The kids will not even remember moving, why do you even hesitate? Of you guys are still young-ish, mom is just trying to keep her relatives near in egoistic move imo. It happens in most families, no big deal.
The baby is at an age where moving won’t be a (long term) problematic shock. Once they start school, I’d be much more hesitant to uproot frequently (speaking from my own childhood moving experiences). I think both options are viable, assuming you can afford both, which I think you can. The question then is what makes stakeholders happier? That means you and your SO. Maybe your SO is supportive because he *wants* to move to Seattle.
Kids grown up very fast and get independent too soon. I would move them all to Seattle. Working moms get less time with kids wouldn't make it lesser
How exactly will you save money with two homes? Rooms close to FB are probably $1000-1500, studios $1600-2000. Even if it's somehow cheaper, which I doubt, do you really want to miss your kid growing up for a couple hundred dollars per month?
My mother's thoughts: Townhomes would rent about 2500+ utilities. I'd look for a room that included a lot of utilities for a flat rate. I guess I'm wondering if I'm uprooting my baby boy from his grandmother too soon.
But you would get rent from your place in Portland if you all move, no? Would you rather uproot your boy from grandmother or from yourself, because that's what you would be doing if you move on your own