I work in tech (TC $350K) and my boyfriend works for a non profit (TC <$50K). We have been dating for 3 years and live together. We’ve talked about marriage. I have my heart set on an engagement ring that I know he wouldn’t be able to afford. I have the savings to buy it but don’t want to offend him by offering to pay. Thoughts????
Yes, it is ok and you guys can buy it together
We buy our biggest Christmas gifts together (the big item my spouse and I each want individually) where the item is chosen and ordered, but we do not get to unwrap our big gifts until Christmas day. This is fun and makes sense with adults...
From the title I thought she was buying him a ring.. I mean she is giving it to him.. to give to her.. wait I'm confused.
It’s your money. Spend it how you want.
Have him agree to let you buy the ring that you like. And later just tell him the amount that you think he is comfortable with. A small lie here will save a lot for you both.
Yeah that won’t really work. Someone will comment on how expensive it looks and the truth will come out.
Don’t start a life long commitment by being dishonest. It will likely come out at some point if you lie, then can undermine the trust in your relationship. Not worth it. Just be honest that you fell in love with a particular ring and who pays for it or how much it costs doesn’t matter, you just really like the ring.
Your post just made most of Blinders feel so good about their TC. Leetcode today will be at their lowest activity ever.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Her ID tells us something about her too.
Does he like independent women or is he more traditional thinking in terms of roles? The fact you are together at this level of disparity in pay makes me think he can handle it. But I know I’d be horribly offended if I bought a real ring and it got replaced. You got to figure out a way for him to propose without buying a ring or picking one on his own.
He definitely likes that I’m very ambitious and is not intimidated. He recognizes that he chose a career that is less prosperous but fulfills him very much.
I have no opinions on who should pay but please read more about diamonds before you waste money that you could really use for other things on enriching a monopolist who has created a fake scarcity and value in something that’s very common. You can get great engagement rings that don’t involve wasting your money on diamonds.
Have been looking at lab grown
What about rubies/amethyst/pearls?
You will have that thing on your hand for the rest of your life, get the exact one you want and buy it together with him. He will be happy you are happy. He can still propose to you in surprise with a placeholder ring in the meantime. Then after you are engaged, you go pick the ring together, you pay.
Many women, including my wife, stop wearing theirs less than a year after the wedding.
Interesting, never met anyone who said that.
Not weird when you consider “for richer or poorer” is in standard boilerplate vows. If he gets rich and you lose your job would it be weird if he supported you for a while? It’s not weird to help a partner financially when there’s a disparity like this.
You fucking asshole, either answer the question appropriately or shut the fuck up.
Ring is not a big deal, but looks like you look differently at your life. Down the road, when you have kids, you may need more money to support. Are u sure your boyfriend is willing to let non profit life go?
Yeah, hopefully he’ll let non-profit life go to raise their kids. She can support the family on a 350K salary.
(If they even want kids)