Having fun used to be intuitive. Now I feel like I’m so razor-focused on “building my nest egg” and seeking financial freedom that that’s all I think and talk about which makes me a great friend to strategize with but not a particularly fun one. I want to have fun again for myself but I can’t shake myself out of being so goal-oriented. Maybe it’s something that’s instilled in me being a child of immigrants but I want more carefree, child-like joy in my life. I want to pursue hobbies and color my life more but between my SWE job and running my two rental properties I don’t really have much time. I also frankly don’t know what kind of hobbies I like either. I’ve tried many hobbies but have grown out of love with many of them. I just need to chill out and live a little outside of being this goal-focused machine. Not really sure why I’m writing this here but just a late night thought I had…. TC 300K 29 M
You sound like an old guy
I don't care!!!!!
People usually grow out of their hobbies, so don't beat yourself over it. Start spending some more alone time with yourself. Outsource rental property management to a company, so that you have more time at hand. In this free time, you can just browse YouTube (limited time), take a walk, do some mental self-talk. Slowly you'll find new areas of interest and you'll start being drawn to those. Like politics, cooking, watching nature, science stuff, whatever draws you towards it. In this process you'll also find like-minded people and you can connect with them.
The day you grow out of hobbies etc is the day you start to die And getting interested in politics is literally the worst advice
Yeah I grew out of my hobbies as a keyboard player and lego builder. I'm still alive and thriving with interest in politics, science and taking walks in nature. And have made many friends out of those interests. Also why is getting interested in politics the worst advice? This thinking is literally the reason why political parties focus more on the lower uneducated rungs of the society. Because they knew the "educated" ones will think politics is untouchable. On the contrary, the educated ones should be at the forefront of politics. Almost all famous Greek philosophers were active participants in politics.
welcome to adulting!
I am the same.
If you have 29M just have fun
That was very insightful advice. 🫡
I am turning out to be the same. I was a fun person in my 20s though and want to re-live that. Where do you stay, want to meet up?
Was in your boat. I got bored of surfing out all things... I think if you might have undiagnosed depression if you feel like life isn't bringing you joy. What I would recommend is outsource as much as you can on things that you don't want to do. Rental property and chores. Then spend more time with just being with yourselves. Don't think what would be useful. Think about what brings you joy. Go talk to therapist, I think before meta gives out 20 free sessions. Should be plenty
I went to therapy. The tldr is to be more in touch with your feeling and authentic to yourself so that your need becomes more transparent. I think as immigrants, a lot of us are taught about delay gratification so much so that we repress our feeling and lost the ability to gauge on our true desire. The concrete steps I take are, exercising which makes me feel in control and see physical gain, reaching out to my friends for support, voicing my opinion and feeling more without always concerned with what's the right things to say/do (this includes yourselves) , picking up something completely not work related nor practical but has always wanted to good at (piano, dance). I read the book the courage to be disliked. I read it in Chinese but the English translation should be fine.
To have fun you gotta post TC
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