Trying to date to settle and start a family, I am on good chunk of apps tinder, bumble, coffee meets bagel, dilmil etc It has been a shit show trying to find a girl with family values who want to work to build a family and life together A great chunk of girls are just very opiniated, not able to hear other side of coin, argumentative about each and everything like politics, diversity, finance and even non female related issue, it feels like a pain to date today :( I am dreading to go down the arrange marriage route as my folks are conservative and I wont get enough time with the girl to discuss or even form an emotional bond with. But seems like no option ? Blind Tax TC:275k
Following. So hard to find a traditional setup these days — ie male works and brings home the bacon while female cooks and raises child.
Are you going to pay 100% of the bills and be a traditional husband?
For the right girl, heck yes, will do 2-3 jobs too if i can come home to a happy house and a smiling wife
As a girl, the problem we face is guys that wants a traditional wife but also wants her to “help” with the bills…basically wants both world which is hypocrisy. There are many traditional girls like what you’re looking for but most of us are mostly religious so we believe the man is the head of the household and the woman manages the affairs of the family etc Few non religious women are traditional. Also most traditional girls aren’t in big tech hub cities like SF, Seattle etc. But mostly in suburbs. Basically more feminine. Your post is you’re looking for a feminine woman and not a masculine woman. Thing is all men wants a feminine woman but a feminine woman is going to require you to be a masculine man that’s where the problem is. I admire you’re open to work multiple jobs to support your family. What if she is working, do you expect her to contribute financially? Do you want a working wife, sahw, remote working etc?
“A great chunk of girls are just very opiniated, not able to hear other side of coin, argumentative about each and everything like politics, diversity, finance and even non female related issue, it feels like a pain to date today :(“ Sounds like we could say the same of you. You’re so opinionated you don’t like the opinions of dozens of women (presumably you’ve met at least dozens through the am process), you’re not able to hear the other side, you find their positions on everything argumentative, and they probably think you’re a pain. 🤷🏻♂️
I think you dont understand my statement. Let me clarify Not every discussion should be an argument you have to win. Not every woman in this world is a victim of patriarchy. Not every man is a misoginist for having an opinion different than feminist, or not having an opinion at all about woman issues If I am with a girl, I do not want to walk on eggshells and constantly watch my thoughts that it will turn into an argument. Just because a person have conservative leanings or wants to live a traditional gender roles life does not make that person and asshole who should not be living in 21st century My bio clearly says that I have conservative leanings and would like to have a family with traditional values. Dont swipe right without reading my bio!
Time travel to early 1900s is your only option to find brainwashed women to sacrifice their life for nothing. Also, would you become pregnant( if you could) at the risk of multiple health issues if there is no guarantee of her lifetime commitment to you ( which btw no one can guarantee anyway). If a woman wants motherhood, she can go through it without a relationship. Why be in a relationship bothered about getting cheated on or raising a man child?
If you’re in nyc, DM me. In the same boat, Female
I am in Bay Area actually :(
I have a friend who is exactly like you describe, except she works too. She married a guy who gave her a monthly “allowance”; her child is autistic - he did the bare minimum to help with his treatments; cheated on her multiple times over the years; and basically behaved like he owned her. They finally got divorced and he hid his assets and gave her no money in the settlement as well. She lives in a 1 bdr apartment while he lives in a mansion and is getting married again. This is not an isolated incident - there are numerous similar instances and I know a lot of women who are raising their children alone with lil financial support. These kind of men ruin things for all good men out there too and women are now taught not to let their guard down. So very few are willing to stop working or take a lesser paying job or stay home to raise kids etc. unless there is a loving trusting relationship between both parties. Your only option is to find someone organically - and when you do - please treat her with respect, kindness and make sure she is taken care of financially. 🙏🏽
There are bad apples on both sides. We all known a woman who did something bad to a man. What you’ve said is an example of someone not being able to judge another person correctly. If these things were so common, no one would ever get married. Don’t build your opinions on such extreme examples.
It's a statistical fact that women who don't have the financial wherewithal, are much more financially disadvantaged after divorce. In today's times, when no one can guarantee the success of a marriage, and visas can be a struggle to get, no one who was financially independent before marriage (and had to struggle to be so), will easily forfeit that just to get married and have kids, that too, without any fallback support.
Dude, I am not marrying any woman If I think I need to sign a prenup to marry her. That is a toxic thought again propagated by feminist And this is the kind of toxicity that feminist propagate I never mentioned in my post that I am scared that a woman will take half of my stuff The entire post is about how dating is ruined because of feminism. It should be a nice fun way to know a new person not a pain in the ass mind field to navigate
Yeah sure, it's always women good men bad. You don't see me talking bad about women, just the ones who identify with the cult called feminism Otherwise, everyone has a bad experience now or then. Just because I had a headache dealing with all these footsoldiers of feminism on a date does not mean I need to give every woman I interact with for a potential date a hard time The ideology is flawed. So stop blaming tech bros !
You should elaborate what you mean by "conservative". Your list doesn't sound unreasonable, but you must also acknowledge and understand that professional working women in big cities did not just thrive and advance in male-dominated professions by cultivating their "feminine" side. They had to compete neck-to-neck in competitive, male-dominated disciplines, with men like yourself, right from their academic life till now. It is a little foolish, therefore, imo, to expect them to easily trade that struggle and financial security (even with a trad husband) just for marriage and kids with a husband for whom their accomplishments don't mean much. Their sacrifice doing that will be much more than yours. You will not be the one having to take extended time off from work and forego that promotion and the high-visibility project, and sacrifice your body and mind to bear, birth, and look after your kids. Do you have a female family member who has pursued a demanding professional career? TL;DR: You are looking for women with values that served them the least getting to where they are in life. Just as they are not a fit for you, you aren't a fit for them.
My mom, grandmom both where career women. I am from Mumbai and I am a fourth gen Mumbaikar, atleast in my family everyone worked. My mom had her own business too later which she is still running. Same is true for my aunt I do not have any real sisters, but my cousin's sisters are educated doctors, lawyers, and investment banker I too compete with women in the workplace and school and I even do it with men, that doesn't mean I take that envy out outside work or professional life. We go out to have fun, not sulk and have a big discussion on why everything wrong in a woman's life is due to men conspiring against them
You didn't get my points. I am not saying extremes are good and those women are completely right, also hard to say as you didn't share any concrete examples or a full context, but I do think you still could do with building some more awareness of the different worlds women are often expected to inhabit, professionally, and personally, and switch from/ to, the spoken and unspoken social judgements that professionally qualified working women are often subject to, that men aren't. Also, while it's great that you have educated and professionally working cousins, are they married? Where (India/ US) do they live?
OP whatever you mentioned are exactly the right qualities to look for in a wife. In modern western cities, feminism has gone too far and harshly to say women have gone woke. They don't even wanna understand the other side of any situation and then argue about equality. From what I've noticed, the truth is they don't want equality in everything, they only want equality when it benefits them. There isn't a single right/law that men have and women don't so what are these feminists fighting for their whole life? Just like some hookup men ruin everything for others, few extreme feminists ruin everything for everyone. I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this comment but it is what it is.
Sigh, I regret coming to America. I guess I would have had a better dating experience if I would have been in some Asian country like Singapore
At least you're getting dates here. What's your age and are you finding all the dates through dating apps?
This is because men are simp.
Seems like you are too attached to your own opinion. Also you are looking for a doormat which you won’t find even through arranged marriage in 2024. Better change your attitude.
Not looking for a doormat Looking for 1. Feminine girl, who is funny, cute in behavior. 2. Someone for whom not every statment of mine is an argument 3. Someone who wants kids and build a family 4. Someone who doesnt drink/smoke/drugs 5. Respectable and kind to others, as everyone is fighting their own battle. the least we can do is speak kindly to others 6. Dont care about her TC or her education qualification if she has it, good, if not doesnt matter 7. No vicitim complex issues, life is hard and fucks everyone equally
#2 sounds like trauma. There are guys who get triggered by strong opinionated women and find it hard to manage their emotions around it. So instead of seeing it as a challenge, why don’t you become curious about the discussion? Even a doormat will challenge you in other ways. Better pick an intelligent partner to tackle life together.