I am 33 years old, with 500k$ mortgage and 2 kids. We are totally dependent on my salary (SWE 170k TC). I had 5 years of experience as an embedded software engineer and kind of recently transitioned to a different area of expertise (in every aspect) full stack web development (10 months). I changed my career because it seemed more interesting and challenging to try something new at that time. There are a lot of speculations about layoffs (especially at PayPal with the recent stock condition) and I am really concerned that if I am being laid off then my experience is not enough for a decent full stack developer and might be negative for recruiters that I havenāt worked with embedded systems for a year. So itās kinda getting in between those 2 expertises. Also the market looks super bad recently How do you cope with so much stress? I think of it everyday. Not being able to provide for my family is one of my greatest fears.
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Best advice. If now me could speak to 33 year old me I'd Tell myself to stop worrying about hypotheticals. I'm not saying don't plan. Just do not go right to dark.
Not sure if it helps much, at around that age and knowing vs. practicing is wildly different under duress
Get your wife a job. That will help ease stress.
How are you performing at your job? You seem like you're in the right salary range if you're living in a higher cost of living city.
diversified income streams and a ton of savings and investments but before all that, yes, lost a ton of sleep and probably had some dumb fights over nonsense good luck. probably the most common problem there is in adult life.
Overemployed baby
Trading one type of stress for another, but double your TC and be in a position to shrug at layoffs!
You can always go back to embedded if needed, my buddies at g who were affected in hardware and embedded all found good roles. Also as others mentioned no point worrying in advance
Not to pile on, just helping make an assessment. You assumed the risk of taking on a 500K mortgage. You said: "I can pay 1/3 of my take-home pay no matter what happens, for an extended duration." If you're at the point of wondering if you can do this long term, then you bought too much house for your means. Most of our financial problems (at least in the US) among the professional class stem from people buying things they don't actually need with money they don't actually have. It's too late for the house, but you don't need to make the same mistake for the car, educational options, restaurants, vacations, etc. There is no shame in living within your means in such a way as you can sleep well. I had a windfall a few years ago, and the house we owned before, we still own. We aren't going to move. I like being able to pay off the house in a moment's notice and still afford repairs. Someone wants to have a pissing contest over who has a nicer house? Fuck them, they can have it. And if they can afford it without worry, then I am genuinely happy for them. It turns out that life isn't a contest to see who dies with the most and shiniest toys. As long as you have SOME savings, you're going to be fine if you balance out this specific risk in other areas.
Selling the house is always an option. I had to do that. Cost me my marriage. Make sure you and your wife see eye to eye about what life you are supposed to be leading
This is the right mindset if you donāt want to be a corporate slave your entire life. If things are going well, people think itās going to continue so, and they start spending and wanting more and more. When poo-poo hits the fan, thatās when they figure out they built a non-sustainable lifestyle for themselves and spend the rest of their life recovering from it. Also, just because you see a lot of people doing something, doesnāt mean you have to do it too.
I feel same way, and so far itās more stress in 2023.
37, 16 YoE SWE, 180 TC, 2 kids, 1 income Yeah, having a family turns up the fear level on everything
How do you have 180 TC at meta as a SWE with 16 YOE? Do you work from Iowa or something lmao?
Contract position, my first and probably last ever. At least it was a big raise I'm working on getting a regular position where I'll finally get paid something decent
That seems a low comp for a SWE. Don't worry you will definitely find better paying companies if you put in some effort for interviews
Most swe will never make above 170
Delusional