Looking for Investors
I’m looking for new investment money. This is a revolutionary new product and your investment money will go toward changing the world. Only taking serious questions and inquiries for this AMA.
Hello, Mr. Peasant. Would you like to support my IndieGoGo campaign? I am accepting investment money from VCs and commoners. For commoners, I am using IndieGoGo.
Bro that’s not how you raise money😵
Hello, Mr. Reals. I am not a bro, but thank you for your interest in investing. I am offering two investing options. Would you prefer the VC option or to invest through IndieGoGo?
No I do not want your latest vitamin water that will cure my male pattern baldness. And no I will buy your product and sell them to my friends and family network. Aren’t you suppose to be dealing with the SEC instead of trolling for more investor money here?
Hello Mr. Jceg8. I have also recently joined Amway. Can I interest you in some high quality products? I will give them to you for free.
Please post the indiegogo link! I'm not a VC. I must invest in your revolutionary scam!
Let me guess. You can test blood with a single prick. And you were inspired because you saw kids wincing in pain as the big bad nurse drew vials of blood. I am in. Where do I sign up. Also do you accept cryptocurrency - my own - it’s called crap coin?
Hello, sir or madam. I do not accept crap coin. This is a revolutionary idea and so revolutionary that I cannot tell you what it is, but you are being considered as an investing partner.
I want in. I previously invested in pagers, cassette tapes, flip phones, Betamax, time shares in an island that is now under water, Lehman brothers and bear sterns. With my track record, you are sure to find a worthy partner, and a seasoned investor. Some call me a legendary investor but I simply prefer to be called a legend.
Before putting in my money, may I know who your distribution partner is this time? Congrats on Walgreens not backing out of the last deal!
My distribution partner is Amway this time. They have a revolutionary system for distribution.
Haha funny stuff. Yes I want to invest! Pick me!
Hello. I am considering you. But first please tell me why you should be considered. This is a revolutionary idea and there is not room for many investors because it is so revolutionary.
I would also like to offer you all a free sample of my new video series on leadership which will be coming out soon. This will also be distributed through Amway. This is a revolutionary video series. Please watch and learn. I also accept PayPal if you do not want to purchase my new revolutionary leadership video series through Amway. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iwKs-eoPM-Y
What BS is this ... What's your product ..?? Show some background or just get lost ... Good luck on raising even a single dollar ..
Hello sir or madam, my product is top secret, but I can show you the master plans if you sign an NDA. This will cause much disruption. Big reward from small investment.
Hello. I am just move here from Yugopitamia after my father left me an handsome inheritance. Dream to invest in revolution product for father’s legacy. Please me next as investor.
Hello, Justin sir. Yes I am considering your investment dollars. Your father was a good man. This is revolutionary.
I was just informed of a Nigerian fortune that I can claim. I have sent my bank details and await a transfer. I think I am ready to invest in your business. How much do you need? My fortune is in the range of $100mn, and guaranteed by the prince of wakanda.
Oh wow ...such a lucky person... Please get OP killed with that money !!
Hello Mr. Portlandia. I not have received your bank details for this once of lifetime investment opportunity. It will bring much disruption to the market. Are you ready for all the disruption? Amway is helping us with distribution and helping us partner with the department of education. It will bring much disruption. Are you ready. If ready please send bank details.
Well? Go on. What’s the product?
I need you to sign an NDA first before I discuss this revolutionary product. It will cause so much disruption that it must be kept secret.
You’ll never find investors or quality employees this way. Seasoned valley folks know stealth startups are bullshit and it’s a waste of their time. NDAs are garbage because ideas without execution are worthless. Nobody is realistically gonna steal your idea and execute it behind your back. Stealth startups are basically founders saying “I don’t want feedback” and feedback at early stages is essential to a startup’s success. Good luck.