Hi Manager does not value my work. He is only focusing on any negative things, does not recognize achievements, and requests useless tasks. He clearly does not like me. I feel very stressed, have problems sleeping and this is the first thing I think about when waking up. I love the job, I have been working a lot this year, crazy results,.. But the so called perf reviews should actually favorite puppet review. This broke me, as I gave so much last year, and various statements in the review are mere lies. I have been feeling so stressed that Sometimes I canât prevent from crying, feel chest pains, don t want to have sex,... The fact that he keeps focusing on any negative thing impacts my well being, and I believe it will impact my career long run and am scared that he will badmouth me so that any new employee will actually hate me too. I have nothing lined up yet, but I canât stop fantasizing about quitting. Everytime I see him now I feel even more stressed but am keeping my shit together. I am trying to tamper with thinking that there way less paid ppl than us ( Bay area) who work in very hard condition. I sacrified what I consider a lot for being here (far from parents, friends, was alone before my wife joined me, like most ppl there are blackout travel periods due to visa and gc process).
Leave immediately. Some managers are just hopeless...
Document everything. Your manager is probably working on firing you. After all that mistreatment, expect a PIP (a performance improvement plan). You canât really beat a PIP because of how theyâre designed, but you can help avoid a PIP if you constantly have objective ways to prove youâre being gaslit. At some point, I documented everything I did in the previous hour at the top of each hour. My self-reviews each review period were ridiculously throughout, even citing timestamps and specific bits of conversations. Itâs tough to lie when the truth is documented. Also, seek allies throughout the org, but be careful not to tap into one of your managerâs allies.
There is no point in working in the team if manager doesn't like you.
One word - Quit before they fire you. These managers are a**holes. Im in a similar situation but soon I stopped giving a fuck and my work speaks now. I still know my manager hates me but canât fire me.
Damn that was hard to read. From the last sentence, it looks like you're on a visa. If you're worried about immigration, just change your team internally. That should spare you of the dreadful visa transfer process. But what ever you do, don't keep working under that asshole manager. You deserve better OP. Stay strong, we got you fam đđ»
Talk to him from the heart and hopefully he can empathize with you if he is a good person. Tell him how you feel. You can start w phrases like I really enjoy the work I do here, but sometimes I feel unappreciated. When you did blah blah blah the other day, it made me feel really bad. Do you think you can help me? How can I do better? I really want to do well here and really contribute to our team? Make him empathize with you and Give him a blueprint on specific things he can improve. If he really did it unintentionally he will make effort to change. If heâs intent on making your life difficult, you will know to move on. Some managers are bad managers but maybe they donât have bad intentions. You have to know which one is he
I donât agree with you! If ur manager demotivates you, you need to move on. Convincing them is equally difficult and having a mindset shift will take forever. So OP, please find a new job
đ yeah you are right. I would quit if I find a bad manager too. However, how do you know the next manager is not going to disappoint you? A good manager is hard to find. Make the best of the situation while you look around.
Team?
I am in a similar situation. My manager micromanages me, assigns stupid tasks to me. Meanwhile the projects I show interest in he gives to someone else or he flat out tells me itâs a waste of time and doesnât align with our team roadmap or whatever. He wonât let me change teams either because he said I need to get performance up but itâs impossible with him not being supportive of anything I do. Iâm in a bind. I might quit but working to get out right now. Interviewing at other companies. My job is making me so depressed.
Are you a minority?
Yes I am actually. Iâm a female.
I would wait till they fire you so you can get severance hehe
Doesnât that depend on if itâs at will employment or not? You donât get severance everywhere.
Yes you do. If you get fired. Company wants to make sure you leave happy enough to not sue
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Closed now - thank you all
A) document everything, because he probably is. Document instances when he has been unfair. Also ask a friend to help you with a quote. B) while you document, talk to him 1:1, tell him how you feel. C) after talking to him, immediately talk to skip level and hr. D) document, document, document. E) check back with all 3 in a month. I used this strategy to help my wife get her super super super shitty boss fired. I am not kidding or exaggerating. And just last month my wife got promoted.