Hi married folks, Me and my wife we both have similar paying jobs (tc ~400 combined). When it comes to spending money, I usually end up paying ~75-80% total expenses (top ones including kid's day care fee, any household expenses like grocery, electricity, internet, car gas, car mortgage, Costco etc), kid's medical expenses due to preexisting medical issues. She pays alternate month rent for apartment (not happily), some Amazon shopping for her and kid like clothes etc. Sometimes I bring up this topic of her sharing expenses for the kid like half day care fee, or alternate groceries, this refuses right away, reason being she spending so much time make the baby sleep or feed, that accounts for money too. She also says her job won't last forever as she may take early retirement, so she is saving for it, but I doubt that will ever happen. I'm working from home for last two years and I also spend much time with kid like taking to the park, pick up/drop off from school, any car rides to outside (she doesn't drive), My question is - how do married couples spend money in the household when they both make similar take home salaries? Looking for suggestions as this is beginning to create issues in the married life. #relationships #marriage
We have it pretty simple nowadays. We make 500k+ and itās just a 30k difference between us so we just sum up literally all expenses and pay half each. Before we used to make a big hassle about who pays for what and why and yada yada yada. Weāre too old to be counting every penny.
This is the way to go. We make ~650k and (400,250 respectively) but split the house expenses equally. Individual expenses like shopping are from our own pockets.
Yeah this is way more common that people think. To be fair, a mother is a full time job. As long as she isnāt blowing money and saving, whatās the issues either she saves or you save right?
Being a father isnāt any less. If the father isnāt taking care of half of the responsibilities for the kid then itās a different situation.
This is BS. In todayās world, both father and motherās time are required for the kid at different times in different capacity.
Married = shared responsibility. 50% because my partner and I are equals no matter income.
We have a joint account, nobody cares who is spending what and where.
This will always be a challenge in our modern world. Regardless of race and cultural upbringing, in a marriage, a man will always need to provide for the family monetarily. Husbands need to be leaders and not depend on the wife to bring home the bacon (basics AND luxury). Stop depending on her or asking her for money for your family. Just move all the expenses to your account and cut down on the ones you canāt afford and simply tell her that you canāt afford them. Let her do whatever she wants with her salary. I know itās hard and sometimes seems unfair. In the old/traditional days, women were solely focused on raising family and men put food in the table. But now, if men are supposed to help in raising kids 50%, home chores 50% AND put food on the table 75-100%, in the long term this will cause resentment for you. The advice I will give you is just be 100% focused on doing better at your job, making more money, getting your family financially stable and happy.
You'll be divorced with half the money.
You better be divorced than be in a relationship where you donāt know how to earn your respect
My husband and I have a joint account and joint credit cards. All expenses for the house (groceries, rent, utilities, etc.) come from the joint account. Our TCs are nearly equal so we fund the joint account equally as well. Our cars (and gas) are not funded from this joint account - he pays for his car and I pay for mine.
What about expenses to take care of family or relatives?
Money earned during the marriage belongs to both. There is nothing like you pay for this, and she pays for that. People may choose to use different accounts for logistical purposes. There is mutual agreement on big purchases or spending items.
You both work and whatever you both make is community property so all the child and household expenses should be be 50/50 as well. I can see where some couples like to use "their own money" for their car or personal expenses like clothing but in the end its all one big pot so why make it so difficult. I have some friends where the wife always made more than the husband and is always saying well that's my house (a rental they have) and I can retire but he can't, yada yada. I just roll my eyes because all that equity in the rental and retirement account are half his whether she likes it or not...
Hereās one of the situations where the definition of āequalityā conveniently changes
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