Fuck dating apps, but have you ever faced weird experiences from matrimonial websites where people just keep talking to 3-4 people simultaneously and don’t take credit for the behaviour and kind of emotional trauma they can leave on the other party! I have seen below cases so far - Asking dowry at the end moment - Ghosting (they will talk to you for hours and ghost you because they found a better fish in the pool) - uncertainty even after talking for 6 months/1 year It is quiet impossible to find someone to settle down. You need to have career + good looks + rich family to be able to become an eligible candidate. What are your experiences?
I believe each platform will have its pros and cons. Sorry you have to go through a rough patch. But, i will also say maybe it is good that those people who ghosted you were never meant to be with you in the first place. Take this as a lesson and continue “tweaking” your expectations? Maybe now you will come to know what sort of questions to ask, what sort of signals to lookout for early on to avoid the things you mentioned, but take it with a grain of salt, until and unless you meet (in person) dont finalize anything. All the best. Dm if you want an ear to vent out even more. Happy to help. Re: about career + looks that too is to each their own, some like both, some just 1 , some may find something else, as i said, keep looking. Dowry? Fuck’em and fuck ‘em more.
So when you were in college didn't you try to seek multiple offers and the have the recruiters match the best offer ?
There is no emotion investment in getting multiple offers
If you're good looking, rich, and have a good career, why the duck would you use a matrimonial site for marriage?
Because there are people who face genuine break ups because of cheating of other similar issues. It’s difficult to find someone organically at the age of 29
Well there are enough ugly people who will say yes to you within a blink of an eye. It all depends on. Either you cut down on your requirements or keep mindlessly trying.
A lot of my friends are going through it and almost no one has succeeded in finding a match through that process. My friends have had these conversations only to realize the guy was talking to get his parents off his back and wasn't serious ( one had an American fiance his parents didn't know of, another one never wanted to get married but told his parents the conversations were great). Good luck to you, it needs to click just once
Usually the kind of guys you want to marry ain't on these platforms..they are conventionally attractive looking so naturally they find girls through their friend circles and are happily dating. The most that appear on matrimonial apps aren't the type of guys you want. And hence the typical experiences of indecisiveness and)
That's fair to some extent. If you meet someone in your 20s then great. But if that 20s relationship you spend years on doesn't work out - you're screwed? I know some great people, men and women (but more women) that are now 30 and don't meet as many new people organically - no more college, most friends and friends of friends are married. How does one try to date after that?
Indian female in the same pool myself. I have been guilty to the above as well. But I think the main issue is both the people not being on the same page. Most of the times I have seen guys want to take months trying to get to know someone. I am all for knowing and being 100% sure before proceeding further but talking once a week and few texts sprinkled here and there is not gonna cut it. If I am serious about marriage, I am not going to sit idle waiting for the next call till a whole week. Marriage would be my priority and I would want to talk on a daily basis to decide if this is going somewhere. Otherwise if I look for sure, I will find someone better. It's just a matter of that someone being as serious as I am.
But there are several serious men on these platforms. What are your filters and criteria
I have strict filters and criteria for sure, how else would you select few from an unlimited pool, and I do find many men in my criteria, serious about marriage but they think it's normal to spend months in the "get to know" period with sparse communication, it really isn't. If you're serious, you can definitely skip a Netflix series or that tennis match for a month and focus on the conversations instead.
I totally agree with the above conversation! But on the second hand, I am kind of a person who prefers to spend time with one person and try to get to know them. But the other person always acts shallow and never takes it seriously! I don’t know if it is my luck finding weird prospects out there.
WTF! - Asking dowry at the end moment Like for real? 😳 that is so sick dude
I understand what OP is saying , I don’t know why men want to spend time and get to know for months included physical intimacy and just vanish. Atleast be a man and take a step to reach out to parents if u like someone and have some accountability before taking things to bed, so that the woman are not bound to get traumatized.
Who still asks for Dowry ???? name and shame them, seriously.
Not surprised. Going through the same.