I work at Amazon and I’m pretty sure I’m about get pipped here very soon. Me and my partner have decided we wanted to get married and he’s looking to propose this year. We’ve done the whole ring shopping etc., but given my job situation I’m in a spot where I’m mentally drained. I asked if we can push getting married to sometime in late 2025. My partner was understanding but our families are not. My partner was saying we could still get engaged this year; however I’m not able to see my future clearly without job stability. I’m lost on what to do as I don’t want to make these life commitments when I’m in a bad spot career wise.
Doesn't your partner earn well to provide for you both ?
Speaking as someone who was recently laid-off during my third trimester, I can understand the loss of identity that comes with impending unemployment. A few months of panic and depression later, I have come to realize that my job does not define my worth. Although I have accepted a new role elsewhere, I truly see the lay-off as a blessing. It helped me prioritize myself and my family over everything else. Companies will never prioritize you over profits. I would advise you to do the same and view a job as just a job. There will always be a new one waiting.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad it all worked out in the end. I hope I see this as a blessing eventually too.
Job != life. Good thing is you have a supportive partner. This too shall pass and you will be ok.
Better to get married soon if you want to remain in the US on a legal status, in case you lose your job.
Yeah that would make sense, but I don’t have an immigration issue. So that’s not one of deciding factors
OP do you have GC?
Keep career and life separate, but most importantly don’t sacrifice life for career. If I were you, I’d enjoy my wedding without having to worry about career
Will your partner not marry or support you if you lose your job? Are you thinking you will have lesser value in relationship or decision making if you don't have a job?
Yeah I think this is something I worry about and he mentioned that my job has no effect on the relationship. But it’s really hard given it’s not easy to live in California with a single income
It's not hard to live with a single income. Look around and see how many people earn more than you. How do people outside tech survive in California? For example teachers, cops or any daily wage employees. It's not that you will be jobless forever. You will eventually get a job irrespective of getting married now. Don't let short term difficulties define your long term life decisions. I would have understood if both of you don't have a job, but you have a supporting partner. If you don't consider both of your income as family income, you are not ready for marriage.
It's really tough when we've only seen success and then encounter something like this. Add in the potential family and societal judgement, monetary issues, and it's no wonder the self worth effect it has on us.
Yeah I feel like as a millennial it’s very hard to separate work from our identity.
Have you always been insecure ? If not, consider it might be something your partner is putting out that's making you feel that way. It's ok to wait and marry when you feel better.
Your job is temporary. Marriage is for life. Don’t put people you love in misery for a job/boss/company that doesn’t even care for you. Are you worried about financial stability? What if the worse comes true? What’s the worse that’s going to happen?
I mean she's asking them to wait for like 6 months. The marriage is for life. If they can't do it, red flag in my opinion. Tomorrow it will be about kids.
It seems like they are all ok waiting. My point was to put things in perspective for OP. It’s not like she will not find a job at all. She is prioritizing a hypothetical pip over her loved ones. I hope she can see that and know when to take a step back at work and live life. The way I see it, if they are anyway going to pip you, chill, get married, take a vacation and move out.
You are not the job or the company that you work for Try to separate work and personal life, and don’t let one affect the other
I appreciate the reminder. Sometimes we forget how to separate the two