As a 31M in Seattle my experience has been shit. I'm 6ft4, 190 lbs, white, and IMO definitely not bad looking. My body type is average (not fat, but not muscled) but I've done "rateme" assessments before and I do have an above average face. I get somewhere between 0-5 matches on Tinder. Completely varies by the day. Most of the women I match with are far below what I consider dateable. They are overweight with shitty jobs. I match with them cause they catfish the first pic with something unrepresentative. The hot ones I match with almost never engage in conversations. They probably have messages from 200 other men and I'm just lost in the sea. I talk to the ugly ones and they are very willing to go on dates, but my heart is just not in it. I would agree, then think to myself "wtf am I doing? Why am I going out with someone I don't like?" And unmatch her. These days I've honestly resorted to sugar dating for female companionship. Paying a few hundred to a hot girl to go out with me, do activities, grab drinks and have a good time. These girls aren't disgusted by me. They have sex with me happily and have a good time. Yet they never respond to messages on actual dating apps until they go on an app where money is involved. Right now I'm thinking my only hope to find someone I like is to convert one of these hot "sugar babies" into an actual partner. It's a sad state of affairs. How has it been for the rest of you? TC 330k
Tech Industry
Yesterday
1520
Women, help me understand why this is inspirational
AMA
Yesterday
619
PM Manager, early 40s, married and ENM (Ethical Non Monogamous) AMA
Tech Industry
Yesterday
362
(SWE) Is the job market improving?
Tech Industry
Yesterday
2691
What happens when most of your team is Indian?
Health & Wellness
Yesterday
526
Lasik cost
Advice for you: Download CMB and watch the Oxford study take effect.
What’s CMB
A dating app with a relatively higher Asian female population.
Go to church to find a good girl.
Basically born again virgins
Any sexy lady out therr, hit me up!
Hi Rajesh!
I've been out of the dating scene for a bit. When I did, it'd be in person walking upto someone and asking them out. Depends on context, might be the climbing gym, yoga studio, coffeeshop, or out and about doing something... serious question, is that not common anymore? It's arguably less easy than going online and swipe swipe, but I also would have a tighter feedback loop on "yeah here's my number..." or "nah, not interested..." And for an overwhelming majority of folks that gave me their number we went on several dates and either said no chemistry, became friends, or were in serious relationships for awhile (shortest a year, longest 5 years) Curious if it's a location or methodology issue. Context Non-white (south east asian) 5'9" 40 y.o. Never had abs but was active Never cared about if i was "handsome" and just did my thing
My wife is constantly complaining about guys hitting on her in Target. I guess the same kind of "old school" people lol. Once it was a guy with a kid while his wife was in the other aisle.
Those folks sound like assholes. If someone says they're married or in a relationship the classy thing is to apologize and go on about your business. Creepiness isn't part of "old school"
Get off the apps. Beauty fades, so look for qualities that are long term - humor, values, interests, goals. Someone who can cook is **way** underrated. Also, do you really want to be with someone who is a prostitute?
There’s nowhere to look, that’s the problem. WFH, no pedestrian zones… there’s literally no place that provides a steady flow of new people to meet
This is utter stupidity. Anyone that says beauty doesn’t matter is coping. Sure it fades away but a good looking person at 40 is any day more attractive than an ugly 40 year old.
Agreed and feel you. But Stop it with the sugar shit and make actual friends (male and female) who want to spend time with you on their own accord. Get some hobbies too and start enjoying your own company. Take a break from the apps if need be - they really ran a number on my mental health personally. When you’re ready to date from a place of abundance and authenticity get back on the apps (only hinge, had zero success on the others in comparison). More self confidence doesn’t hurt. Increase that Tc and lift heavy things as always
Your mentality is wrong. By resorting to prostitution, it shows your innate desperation, which likely comes out in dating apps and on dates. Fix that and you’ll find much more success
I would actually disagree with you. Sugar dates give me the companionship and sex I need that helps me NOT be desperate. Thats why I'm not horny enough to go on dates with those I don't like
Most high quality women would never date a guy that they knew used sugar babies
The hot girls and chatting up hot guys with 330k+ tc. Jk, I felt the same years ago as well. Better to find people irl instead.
Leave Seattle
This. Move somewhere with a better dating scene.
If I get laid off I'll consider this. Maybe move to Irvine.
You have not posted your tc. I can understand why you are not getting any good dates
Updated for you sir
Your dating life should improve now. Report back in 2 weeks