Never had a girlfriend before but want to try.
Mid 20s with stable job, no debt. Never had a girlfriend because i was too scared or got rejected. Want to try something. Shouldni use dating apps or go to some meetups. Not sure whether i should be looking for someone with same interests or something new.
Big oof! As a woman, I don’t give a rat’s ass about your salary or debt as long as you’re moving in the right direction. The lack of personality, confidence, and BDE is concerning. Your compassion and EQ should be your focus through social interactions. Aim for 5 daily attempts with 3 being positive.
The bar is high as the social complexity and needs of your partner...a lot like TC. Some people might want high TC and compassion but they work for the Facebook’s of the world and ain’t no one shedding compassion tears for their BS. It’s all relative and depends on the person. Try “negotiating that down” and it’ll make you look insensitive or the type of guy who negs/pressures their partner into sex. Not cute or cool, hombre.
It’s not extremes. Again, it’s relative and depends on the person. The former is a guy I’m living with and sometimes I shit on his ideas or his choices but I love him. The latter is the type I’ve never come across in the dating sense. My coworkers, sister, and friends have dated/fucked PUA types but it’s relatively easy to manipulate men like that give them TRP boilerplate lines in reverse. Logic can be defeated with logic. Compassion can be defeated with compassion...actually yes, and that’s why I’m going on 7 years with the former. PUA are no different from musical artists, gold diggers, cam girls, Instagram personalities, FANG circle jerkers...all need attention for their short comings. Seeing a man cry because you crossed the line during one of your grad school late night gaming session insults and then holding him for half a decade is much more difficult than “lift iron, chug protein semen, and spit game”. The bar to get a good girlfriend is what exactly? It doesn’t seem like you specified that. It’s like any other bar, right time and right place = chance at a good relationship. My bar is always high for 30 mins of every social interaction but I never treat the person like trash. The bar is lowered as trust begins to develop. I’m not a “good girlfriend”. I’m an above average lover, witty and dry humored shit talker, and a giver. Good and bad is relative. You’re not looking to balance the morality of someone of their choices. They just need to give a darn about their own life and allow you to exist in that bubble from time to time. People over complicate love, sex, and relationships.
Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, make friends, and potentially find a partner.
But then you have a partner who likes volunteering
Thanks @Google, that was great.
Given what you’ve said, definitely go to meetups, do more in-person interaction and gain some confidence and social skills. Stay away from apps. Like CapitalOne mentioned above, compassion, EQ and empathy are critical. Learn these, not just to pick up girls, but to be a good human being for your own soul.
Stay away from apps!
Yup, too many stalkers.
Don’t. Focus on yourself and bang/date people on the side. At 20 you need to be growing and investing in yourself.
Apps all the way. Try not to get eaten alive.
OP, are you a virgin?
Yep
Do both, dating apps and meetups. Don't be afraid to approach the pretty girl first!
✋ same boat as you op, though I've been hit with anhedonia so not sure what to even try on meetups...
Like everyone told ne here, keep fighting. I iust started on the apps and am going to look into meetups. Maybe like writing meetups since i write short stories. Never know....
How? How is this possible? How does one make it to 25 a virgin? I do not understand
Being an introvert. Gaming a lot. Hanging out with the bois instead of girls when going out. Getting rejected by 2 girls in college so didnt bother. And the. Focusing on work to raise dat TC
Virgin here with almost 30 YoE. I tried in my teens and early 20s but then I just because apathetic about it and ignored girls. Pretty trivial considering they also ignored me. Recently I've tried saying yes to more things, and it's enriched my life a bit, but my social circle is severely lacking in girls, single or otherwise. I don't like apps. I'm not ugly imo but I need to lose a bit of weight, I'm sure this was a big contributor, but a few years ago I was down a lot and that didn't win anyone over even so. I went to a tech school and hung out with guys, I asked a few girls out in college but got denied.
My two cents, Unless you’re a very social person, I’d say dating apps is your best of luck. It’s hard to meet ppl after college. Try to date as many people as you can so you get to know what you like and what you don’t like. Dating is a numbers game, the more you date, more opposite of sex you meet, you get to know yourself more and get to know other peeps before you lock down with this one person.
Lol maybe those guys on Reddit just suck?
Dating apps are just overwhelmingly biased towards the best looking. Average looking on both genders struggle; men a bit more.