Online dating rules
I want to ask folks here who go on online dating a lot; what is the right protocol to say no to a girl after two dates? Indian here and I met this Indian girl we didn’t talk much over chat but we met twice and there were regular conversations. I ditched her plan for third date and never responded to her because I was going through my own shit. Now after few months I realized that as a man I did wrong I should have been courteous enough to say no to her. Do you think it would be okay to apologize now to her & close it or she would have moved on? I’m also trying to get a general sense from Indian folks here who go on online dates. Is there an onus to say no or silently ghosting is acceptable? TC:285K
Never ghost. It is annoying as hell when it happens to you. You put so much time and resources into knowing the person and then you suddenly go silent? Yeah, fuck that shit. If you don’t want to proceed further, just close the conversation with a reason (optional) and a pleasant goodbye. It helps the other person get closure and move on quickly. Note: Girls get way more matches on dating apps than guys. When I spoke to a couple of girl friends, they said that it would be impossible to respond to every match. So I can understand ghosting from their perspective (in the first few messages, not after a date or two).
Hmmm shouldn’t your parents be doing the needful? Why are you arranging dates yourself?
According to that new Gillette commercial you can’t initiate any conversation with any female. Common bro, be a “good guy” and just let the woman control the whole situation!!
Don’t ghost someone you’ve met IRL. Simple.
why would you include your TC in the question? also, not answering back after an awful date ain't wrong.
Tc or gtfo
I’m a woman and I feel bad about ghosting a guy like 15 years ago. I was young and awkward and didn’t know how to date. Just learn from your mistake and be more kind/polite in the future. If you don’t feel a romantic connection, it’s ok to say so
Relax and don't overthink it. Don't try to behave "as a man", be yourself. It's much better for the both parties, than being "nice". Right now you are: (i) projecting your own guilt on her, you don't know if she is disappointed, she is most likely absolutely fine, girls have dozens messages a day in online apps, one disappeared guy goes unnoticed; (ii) you are concerned about your own image to correspond to some "nice guy", in that by apologizing to her you are in fact not true to yourself and to her, fuck that.
You are right about guilt. To be very honest my philosophy in life is don’t do something with anyone that you don’t want for yourself & I feel now(which is very late) that I would have felt bad if I were in her shoes & for me apologizing isn’t an ego issue but if my apology gives her some comfort than it is worth it. I had my own reasons for not doing it at first place but now I feel that the other person shouldn’t feel bad because I was fucked up then.
You don't know how she feels. You're projecting. I.e. you are going to comfort not her, but your own image you created for her. I guarantee you with high confidence that she doesn't give an eff about you and that you disappeared. The fact that you think otherwise is your ego. Online dating for girls is much different.
Ghost away. Not working keep moving.
If I ever feel like I need to apologise, I just do it, sticking to the "never too late" rule. It's a selfish way to feel better for some wrong doing and perhaps it will make someone on the other end happier too.
If they don’t initiate, it’s fine to just let it be. But don’t be a dick and ghost on an unreplied message or plan. You fucked up and it’s been long enough so just let it be. Live and learn and don’t do it again.